Its rare tat ur world come crushin down on u. even rarer tat those whose world have been totally wiped out are the ones to be dere to console u when u utmost need it. perhaps this is the nature of life. oni pple whom seen the whose can truly comprehend whats nt, and be able to milk every ounce of good out despite all the F*** shit thy get. perhaps....
results are out. and true enough they suck. ironical. despite all knowledge and enthusiasm to convince miself tst this was perhaps the most likely outcome, tat i have seen it comin way b4 the meteor landed, i felt.... nt sad, rather mad. didnt noe wad i was mad at either. juz was. suddenly stuff were goin haywire when relatives foned in, parents anxiously ask if u qualify and worst, cousins who console u even b4 u started tryin. it was a realli hard pill.
too mani choices. too mani tings. perhaps sum stuff oni when u give u truly recieve. [erhaps sumtimes when no matter how u run, u can neva catch up to the person walkin ahead. perhaps....hard work does nt pay off in equal rewards. u may nt reap what u sow. This may well b a reality of life. and tat today i truly comprehend- to qwell the bitterness u must 1st empty the container.
Sunday, February 25, 2007 5:42 PM
In a blink of an eye, 2 months have just went pass lidat. this 2 months had nt been easy. the transformation from a civilian to a soldier is though nt gruellin as rumored, but these two months have been paved with sweat and blood. Its nw tat being confinedat home, not able to dive into the welcomin streets of orchard like i used to tat i realise how tyme realli pass. how meaningless life can and would be. i am though, grateful tat 2 months of monotonously followin orders had nt made mi lost sight of wads important to mi, but made mi aware of de other areas tat i have neglected. by next week, the results would be out and plans pretty much finalised- if any. i have neva been much of a planner. this much i believe- man devises, heaven decides. Even so i pray tat all pple do well, whether i may noe them or not. it would be lying to say im nt concerned. it bothers mi how much it matters to those imprtant 2 mi. it bothers mi how im goin to go on. whether life would ever be the same again. another phrase. another transformation. another uncertainty. if it could have been decided, i would wish tat i had the power to in a crude way decide every1s sadness and happiness, as the new li sheng jie song says. i wish i can dictate how u all feel towards it. but alas i cant. hahaha wad am i to do tat when i cant even calm miself down 1st?
nevatheless, life will still continue. on a lighter tone, these week had been a rather good 1. its strange how tyme blurrs along wif tyme every book out. there are tyme i wish tat i can spend together wif my loved 1s, my friends, my family, but everytyme i book out, i find miself at a loss of wad 2 do. so much to do, so little tyme. and suddenly vola, back in camp again. perhaps its just the fatigue messin wif my mind. yesterday, i and euny went tp catch the chingay p[arade without the hc even though it was my initial plan to go along wif them, but 2 mani pple couldnt make it. it was just freakin unfortunate tat tings turn out the way they are-sick durin daves big day. i certainly miss the days we met up every sat. aniway the parade was kinda cool this yr, cos there wasnt much of a parade but rather it was more of a street performance and the dancers were realli good. the band was good too, butthe crowd were less than fantastic. it ws just sad. no festive spirits at all. ai singaporeans.
after which we went on to ps where we walked round a bit and had dinna. there we saw a couple of familiar faces, like cui and ken(which was kidna odd) and wlison who looked the part of the lion king. we had waffles(eunys treat) and proceeded to the dougby underpass to llok at the gohapon machines. too bad the bleach machine was all out. we then walked to esplande. there was an UNCLE RINGO fair goin on, and we tried our luck at 1 stall which required to shoot the ring from the bottle. wth, i missed all my shots! it was realli depressin. (well for pandy it was sad lah =)) as u can expect we returned home empty handed =( nvm though, i promise to get a bigger idiot monkey the next tyme we go. well im kinda in a rush so tats all. hope to blog again real soon.
Thursday, December 14, 2006 11:49 PM
its always hard to say goodbye. 2 a close friend.2 ur family. even to sumting as simple as msnin. all of a sudden, i feel like a dyin man (sori, just cant help feelin at way). its just att it seems weird tat all of a sudden, 2 years of jc life just went pass, and most of all 16 years of civilians- a lifestyle ive come to accept, recognise and love. so as 1 can say, its realli hard when u noe tat u may wake up 1 day and find urself missin all the stufff u have.
call it a bane or a blessin, this 2 years, life have been gr8, since the day i steeped in ny. though regrettably, 1 couldnt make it into the skool as a permeant student, i did nt resent the fact i was once a student taht. rather, i was grateful, despite the usual sacarcism, i was happi i got the chance. most of all i was realli glad i had de chance to meet the hc pple. though at tat tyme i was fallin outta a crush, wif them around, life became much less complicated-sumting i looked forward 2. they became more than my classmates and they became my friends- if closeness is a good measure, theyre prolly wad i would consider family, though we meet nt often and driftin a[art is inevitable. howeva, despite all tat, i love my 'family' - a rather disfuncional 1, but nevatheless my family just like my real 1.
as vin the rather smartass dota king said, tings will change, but hope just for de worst. i guess tats true. i dun wana change. i hope to remain miself. so tat i can continue to be a part of my family. my world... but alas... sumetimes it realli sux to be mi. i wun be a psoer and say i wun miss all the stuff, but ill miss each and every1 of the pple, the stuff tat have accompanied mi wif my journey especially my panda. quoted from shiva in rave, lifes a journey. to live is to travel. to mi 1 journey has ended while another has began. the journey may nt be easy- the road rough and the burdens heavy, but all u need are friends and family who carry them nt for u, but wif u.
also i had a gr8 day today, one ill remeber for a long long tyme (even given my goldfish memory) we celebrated vins and shutigns bday. the food was gr8 despite cui comin late and stuff. but nevatheless, it was realli gr8. it left mi wif no regrets to leave for the army.ck the bois job is done. its tyme for ck the man to stand out and protect his country. and lastly take care all.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006 10:52 PM
Look into the past and c who u used to be. tink bout the future and the storms tat u have weathered. feel the last of joy as adulthood takes it toil. sever the ties tat bind for they will cloud ur mind. leap into the world unfolding, n u shall find ur new torch shinin- for the end only brings another start.
all in name of change as the journey begins, its tyme to shed the burdens. to realise tat naviety is no longer a faith u can allow urself to sink deeper into. to rationalise and sought the everchangin truths. to c beyond the hypocrism and be reborn anew. one may find tat the beginning may ultimately be the end. tat after the journey, we wind up at the beginning.
Sunday, November 12, 2006 10:20 PM
For aniting tat has a beginnin, an end is undeniable. inevitable. It is simply a way of life. wad future is there, when all there seems to be is and end for everyting we do? perhaps for mi tat tyme has come. The human mind is irrational this i heard mani pple say. we all 2 a certain extent, believe what we wana believe in. its our nature. to deny the end. to hold onto habits. or even to justify our wrongdoings. the list goes on.... i wonder when that tyme comes. what will i do.... wad my future holds... guess ut just means i have to wait.
Saturday, September 16, 2006 11:24 PM
went wif euny to catch the devil wears prada! damn shiok! in golden class! neva go b4 de. but wad i meant to says tat the movie was realli kind good. nt becos the leads a chio bu. my becos they have enough clothes to make u drool. watching the movie was aside from exciting cos the cio bu, kinda enrichin. it made mi realise how stupidly childish i was. how i mocked at sly and ever so quickly termed them the no lifers they were jus becos they loved wad they were doin and i didnt. sure, my life wasnt gr8, but it is undeniably good. i dun haf pple at my becks and calls and loads of cash stuffed into my fat walletm, and wake up early everyday . but i wad i do haf. is a wonderful family,(prolly a wonderfully annoyin 1 but at the veri least nt disfunctional.) i haf my life. i mean sure, skools rough and stuff. but at the least i have my weekends to spend wif my close ones.
its nt a wrong to love ur job. but wad matters tat we understand wad we hold mroe important to us than all other stuff. work isnt sumting we need to despise. its just a part of life. u dun haf to love it and stuff. but if u do. then make sure u noe ur priorities. tats just all =p
Sunday, August 27, 2006 7:14 PM
for those of u who noe chinese,(all claim to noe) xing fu simply means fortunte or more accurately, life of bliss. i for 1 am a XIng fu person. why one may ask. especially after evidently the setbacks i faced. the humiliation scrotched onto my very vunerable ego. it does nt make sense. BUt who eva say it did?
all pple encounter setbacks be failing ur exams which happen too occasionally for sum, probs wif friends,loved ones, even monetary issues. its is usually through this we experience how fortunate we are when we prevail through the chaos.
to put it simply, it does nt matter how much a person has endured or needs to face. its how one copes. if a person hurts u, so be it. easier said than done one says. damages done and all. but if he was de person u imagined him to be, tings wouldnt have turned out the way it did. the pt? its nt worth it feelin upset at sumone who isnt there. or more appropriately sum1 who doesnt deserve to be there for u.
and on the other hand. one need not be ashamed tat he does wad he does- hurts others. its just wad he chose to do. and while it is pples decision to slam the word ' fault' on him, it does take considerable thinking y he deserve it at all. the blame. the concern. for if he is blessed wif it, then its up to him to decide its fate. if he didnt even deserved it in the 1st place, then surely he doenst desrve to hold onto it.
hope this entry sets u thinking. or betta clear the doubts u have. tata