Sunday, April 24, 20054:36 PM
Biang... dun noe y this sudden impulse to write.... actually threw my hw aside* haha maybe its just pure laziness, but today started out fine until i got saw sumthing which got me kinda pissed off... i watched 2 starry-eyed hikers actually gave up trekking even b4 they started.. prior to their expedition, they were going on about how they love trekking more than anything else in their life... FUk man... ni neh... i started to tink about stuff... lots of stuff...i cannot be certain what will happen to them but i can fUKING bet mi life on it that they will freaking regret this moment of folly for the long path ahead... allowing their hearts to overrule their freaking objectives... how do i noe.. u may ask.... cos i have lost too much.. fell too many times.... and when i look back i see a forepath of regrett...N i dun want anyone to be in my shoes.... cos it sux.. veryday u wake up with no purpose in life... numbing urself with bks... this was my life years ago... Y u may ask.. cos i chose to fuking give up... i tot i was doing everyone a favor, giving up b4 i even tried.. bottling evry crap up... tell u wat... read the ur chem notes! the real gases( real life cases) particles have a significant volume/ sizes compared to the size of the container... which means that too much will burst the container... and i tink hearts dun make much of a good container... and wat give up cos u r afraid that u will hurt sum1 else?!! u noe that in ur heart, Y started doing sumthing if u dun want to give it ur best> why even started tinking? u tot of it cos u convinced urself that u r going to do it betta than anyone else...u r going to make a person u like happier than anyone can make her... u are going to top the class, not just get acceptable grades... if my concept ( no fish then y not prawns) got to anyone, i meant it as a joke! i dun wish to c anyone doing stupid stuff and get themselves hurt ultimately in the end!!!! a step of folly can result in a lifetime of pain.. dun start doing sumthing u will regret months or even years down the road... like me.... as much as i hate to admit, i have been a failure, as much as a fool, a coward.. and now a aimless wanderer... i have chose to given up on occasions when they came.. Y? Cos i had doubts about miself.... about everything.. the fact was i was a freaking coward.. i was afraid of hurting miself.. i was afraid and yet i hoped... and years have passed but the guilt and regrett of letting miself down neva diminished... and i tink will neva.... that is y i dun want to c anyone like mi... pple like mi oni noe how to wrap themselves in layers after layers of self decievement... and the result?! self inflicted pain... my advice... DUN GIVE UP B4 U even started!!!! failure can hurt but it doesnt kill... guilt does... slowly... even if everything results in failure, the u will have no qualms.. u did sumthing for urself, for those u hold dear.... so please jia yu!
DEATHNOTE.
