Sunday, May 22, 200511:59 PM
JUst watched star wars epi 3.... it turned out to be great as anticipated... the only concern was too great.... lucas had magically captured the essence of the development of Anakin skywalker's character as he metamorphs into the tainted, wretched being that he was; Darth Vadar... Sumhow the lines have etched onto my mind.. rather than the saber fighting scenes... the plot... so well developed... so realistic... so real it almost could be very well my life they were potraying... i found miself understanding anakin's emotion as if they were my own... so real... oozing familiarity.. i found miself thinking... and realise that the flim had captured and materialised all my dreams and aspirations...my darkest emotion...
The only thing that dun exist in life is enternity.... there is no such element.. what we have we eventually lose.... and when the time comes, we can choose to let go.. or stubbornly deny fate... just as anakin did.... he fought for his beloved.. for his beliefs... only to forsake the fact that every step he took was driving him into what he sought to exterminate... he chose to denfy destiny.. he chose to gave evrything in exchange for his beloved life... including his humanity.... ironic isnt it? that he attempted to kill her just as easily when he finally let his rage overcome him.... and in the first place... y? to save her.. to keep her by his side at all costs...and he eventually lost all that he was afraid to lose..
and i tot hard... does it not apply to miself? i fought hard to hold onto my beliefs, those important to me..... and why was that? simply becos i couldnt let go... and i turned against my parents in the process... i even had the slight intention of finishing them off.... i hated them for being the inreasonable, cold hearted bloody fools who forced mi to make the decision between the pple who i have hold endeared to my heart... all that without realising that every step i take was leading mi into the same miserable fate that they have suffered.....
Even everything in life revolves around the same principle.... the education system teaches to strive to reach the top.... but at the same time, it teaches us to let go when necessary.. to accept ur fate openly... is that not democracy? but giving up after all the hell u suffered? how many can do that? i believe that i cannot... i will not... and i wil without a shadow of a doubt do evrything i have to, to hold onto what i have.... is that not why we fought hard to get to the top in the 1st place? to gain all the objects we desired.... that is y i believe tat i and anakin are more in common than anything... we are cancers of the system... we choose to deny all we noe just so we can hold onto things which we hold in high esteem... endeared...and close to our heart.... we choose to believe that there will be sum ways in which we can stop the inevitable....even when we knew deep within our hearts we cannot... we chose to numb ourselves, believing in the good of our sacrifices and in enternity......
i left the cinema more burdened despite the reduced contents in my wallet... was he wrong? i tot not... tang, sensing my uneasiness was eva that 'kind' to point out he similiarities that our dear friend the dick head darth had in similiarities with mi.. (i mean despite we both being dick heads) sumhow one thing led to another and we had a discussion... why is the perfect system? democracy he said... for there will always be pple to correct ur flaws, point them out and make u an overall a betta person.. and in the process, making u the happy jackass that u wana be enjoying both ups and downs in life and valuing temporary happiness every now and then... i disagreed however... i believe otherwise... i believe that to eliminate all your flas, we must obliberate all those who are in the 1st place capable of recognising ur flaws in the place.... and all those who obstruct u in any way possible... that way u will have no flaws.... and absolute control and power over ur destiny.... and attain perfection.. there will be no flaws.. there will be no one left to noe... and u will enjoy only sucesses in life.. with no hinderances, irriating obstructions in ur way.... sumhow tang couldnt overthrew my statement... anyway thats it for now... i got to go ZZZ liao.. kinda tired... and looking forward to next sat
DEATHNOTE.
