Sunday, June 05, 20058:15 PM
tok juz now with eunice... she said tat evon had updated her blog.. apparently i didnt noe.. even though i made sure i read through yesterday.. strange... stranger still after reading through the blog i was kinda sad... its like she writing a will lidat.. haha sori... cant help feeling lidat.. then i read the one after tat and i felt damn hilarious lor... wa biang... ur friend damn scary.. or maybe ure just plain....( i cant bare to say it).. ehmmm... innocent... like a toddler... at least eunice cant read mi brain completely lor dn i read eunice's blog... shes says she's okay.. god we must get her a doctor! eunice will neva say tat 1! and she finally figured out wat she wans.... she may not noe herself, but doing so have already showed her determination subconsciously.. great job.. u took less than a nite to noe.... i take a year also dunno wat i wan.. damn sad... i jus make the best of wat i have... and she said she fishmonger... i damn scared lor.. i mean i was worried that she was troubled by the phrase.. but now i scared she kana traumatised by the sentence or worst possibly by von... cant blame her... if it was mi.. i would have commit suicide when i saw evon do her toddler thing... i mean i would have jumped down from the cinema at the top story of PS on the spot.... or i go buy the naruto the kunai from the comic connection then stab miself with it liao...
and then i read labbits blog... i dunno wat to say.. but i kinda agreed at 1st.. but i realised that i was being bias.. it was my fault for being distant in the 1st place.. i did not want to, will not let my guards down.. how would i expect anyone to undertsand mi? but then i recoll wat yvonne said on her blog.... and i started tinking.. is this good? am i supposed to be lidat at all.. am i suppossed to be..... humane? to have friends? to have emotions? to gain acceptance? i dunno... i suddenly felt a sudden coldness.... have i gone weaker? did my defences crumble? have i become soft, weak... unable to be continue with mi path? ai.. so many questions.. i dunno if wat im doing is correct or not... perhaps this is an alternative.... but im afraid..wat iuf i've neva met them? will i be the same? and is that betta? am i meant to stay in that way foreva? i dunno? but i am happy in my current state now... i have things which i cant live on without now... but i cannot figure if this is a weakness? or strength... to be verything u can for tat thing....i see labit and i am happi for him... but i look in the mirror and i c another shadow.. wat is it that i want truly if not this... haha i muz be scaing u all.. im sane... its juz that i dunno...
But regardless im going on with my life.. till i find my answer.. and i am grateful for my comrades on the way.... i will learn to be juz that.. a betta comrade... and learn to be sumone whom my firends can relie on... perhaps.... sori.. i digress.... but regarding labbits tok on vincent i can disagree with neither.. cos i can understand both stances... but i
will kill anything or anyone who hurts mi friends now..... this im positive... and i just hope that time pass on slowly... for i am just starting to love mi life...
DEATHNOTE.
