Wednesday, July 06, 20059:45 PM
kao damn sian these few days man..... cant do anything right... cant tink straight.. cant even stay awake without being irk at how much i have to go through..... toking with sweez have made mi more awake.... yet being wake isnt nesscary a good thing this i have learnt... at least ive made good use my knowledge....wth am i vexed about... i have no god damn idea. and worse problems keep piling up. first pi. then excursion. then chalet. sumhow realli cannot c the end of it man. realli realli tired iof al these.... perhaps im nt cut out for these kinda of life.. suddenly i just wana go into seclusion. to be away. to be able to sit at the beach to look at the evening starlit sky. to be on the roof of espande to look at the to look down and enjoy the evening breeze. to be able to tok like with nothing on the mind. reallli reminds mi of the past. yet.... i noe it isnt possible. wat am i suuposed to do... just siam off alone from the crowd during chalet to look at the beach. if they didnt already tot i was a social outcast. then its about tyme thry get to noe their classmates betta. i nt the type to go swimming pillow fights. im the one who goes cycling alone. or perhaps with my companions. to explore. and perhaps even just sit down to admire sumthing as simple as the sunset. im nt them. i will neva be i suppose... yet they call mi a classmate. a comrade... hahaha..nw thats sumthing scary... i noe that there will neva be a day when i can be truly 1 of them. so sian.... nt many pple i can relate to in class..... i listen to chinese. they on the other hand punk rock. its like oil and water... we neva mix.... and this relates to more in life... haha...cant turn them down either...... cos i noe i shld give face... on the account i was also ivited... (obviously sum werent)... but why mi? ive rather they told mi they cancelled the thing... so sick of these... to comply and follow and compromise..... is this wat life is about? being nice to others... and putting up a false front so that others may continue to get a false impression of u? or neva speak on behalf of urlsef.. remain silent and suffer? ai... reali screwed... just hope im goign to be in a betta condition for sat...
DEATHNOTE.
