geez... 1 weeks gone. just lidat. yet each days just there. each tormenting day so long and yet... so short.... been feelin down and out for some time now. perhaps its time to stop this crap..... stop feeling sori for miself and decide wad to do for the rest of the holidays. study has become the primary concern at home. since chatting and maple are kinda losing their appeal. no idea when days started beginning to 'elongate' ..... but regardless taking a week to sulk has been more than enough i assume. no more. being lidat doesnt change anyting. i knew. and i know it betta than anyting else. but studity has always been a trait i been 'blessed; wif.. whether it is intectually or emotionally. i seem to do as i please. regardless of all the advices and warnings tat any remants of sainity would throw at mi. must well make the best of it i guess. since i cant change the cause. but cant say the same for the consequence. hahaha if my eq was low. i guess now they were at a NEW LOW now. i cant even understand some of te stuff im doing. no sense and no impulse. wth. screweds the word. still pondering over stuff... and takin time to figure out seemed to be effective. and i hope they remain tat way....
besides shutting miself off doesnt help... i oni realise it when i was writing this piece of junk. but ya. my probs are not half as bad as peoples'. and i dun intend to sulk for it anymore. i've always chosen to be a soloist. and tat doesnt change. not now. not ever. and a soloists always does things by himself. ive always admired that from mani pple i come across in life. now its time to put it into action. words are tat meaninless. i dun confine my probs i pour them out and i evaluate them. neither do i go bout tellin someone. cos its juz not mi. a soloist need not be the strong slient type who appears cool and does everything with straight Aces and stuff. i suppose a soloist can be a typical guy who screws up his stuff and fels down once in a while. but a soloist doesnt remain tat way for long. cos he knows its pointless. bu above all he knows this and does not allow his impulse to overrule his sense of judgement. and tats what ive been. or rather been tryin to be. regardless im a soloist. or just a wana be. i neva realise tat this quality will be an asset. now tat i realise. i noe betta. are u the type who believes tat at the end of the day sum1 will b there waiting to save u from all ur troubles? im dun. i believe in DIY or DIE. Y or R its ur choice. and i tink i wan it to remain this way. so tata.. signing off.
