... initially i wanted to continue wif wad i stopped at the last tyme. ( of cos i realise its a damn stupid.. im not immune to logic. and its just plain hard to continue)... but cant think of anything lucarative to write on... the entire atmospheres nt there... since jus hours ago i was watching a show on jesus and gal tio gangbang possession by 6 demons. so as u can expect... im not in much of a mood for romantics of any sort now. just wana finish reading my angels and demons and bringing my character to level 30. all tat b4 promos release. im well aware tat of all the pple round mi tellin mi tat im safe and all that. but to be frank. i wish i can believe u all. it is i who noe miself betta. i cannot deny tat im afraid. and although its true tat as friends we should all encourahe one another in these times, its is also our duty not to lie to those whom place such beliefs in us. tats why. please, i would rather hear the obvious consequences of failing. at least i would noe im not dreamin. stop and face facts. for who knows one betta than oneself? i dun wana believe. nor can i ignore the hopes u all have placed on mi. tats why all the more im afraid. these hopes have allowed mi to soar .... and im afraid tat when i fall i will not have enough courage to stand up on my own again. why soar above the horizon? so tat u can fall again badly? why decieve urself and believe in wad hopes others place on u? so tat u can blame them for their worng predictaments when the time comes? so that u can shift responsibilities onto others? yeah rite. Its everyones else fault except for ur own. if its lidat, i would rather not have soared at all. at least i dun haf to endure such a fall. pple always wana hear de good stuff. and im no different. but a friend is one who tells u straight in the face the bad stuff. at least from time to time. for he knows tat trading ur dignity and trust all so for a moment of folly-to save both his face and urs would only destroy u worse. anyway cant continue writing laioz... cannot tink for a period without chain of tots being broken. ai.. cyaz
