Responsibility. A value tats been instilled in all of us since young. although some way or another, we may have neglected or even forgotten it along the way. we all have our share of responsibilities.It may be as simple as any self-satisfactory task, living up to others expectation of us, or in the unfortunate minority, having to struggle so that life can go on.
Its a big word for me. i admit. for those who know me, responsibility isnt the 1st thing that comes to ur mind when u c mi. experiences throughout my life have moulded mi into a person i cannot say im proud that i am, and bred in mi an instinct that sumhow allowed mi to live without worries, slithering my way outta any responsibilities shoved upon mi. All these, coupled with failing moral values has resulted in a abominable concortion of irresponsiblility,pride, cruelty and most of all, cowardiance- Cowardinace to face my share of responsibilities. the most absolute error of mistaking the trend of escapism to be a beneficial trait bestowed upon mi completed the process- the years that shaped mi into what i am.
and it is not till today i realise my stupidity.... my blindness. how i could have missed it i neva realised. the issue of responsibilities, mine, is not a new topic to mi and my mother. And to be frank, i hated her. i hated her because she made mi choose between what i tot was important to mi and my responsiblities. in short she was a barrier. and like a scar that always served to remind mi of these. i do not dismiss the fact that im not a filial son. but im a fair one this i insist. where others see responsibility, i see reason. i dun give a fuking damn to what others may say. and i mean it. to those who would sought to distort my reasons. and thinking bout it, i realised.... that i blamed my mother only becos she was much like mi. oni that she did face up to her respnsibility, but in place of cowardiance there laid dependence-dependence on us, her family. and i hated her. i hated her for her having to rely on us all the time. i loathed her. all becos i hated my responsibility as a son. and i hated cos her weakness was in mi. like she was dependent on us, i was dependent on others....
i'm sori to those i have been so dependent on. and i pledge that i will from today on, try not to be the hindrance that i am. at least i wil try my best. not to shove away my responsibilities, but to learn to accept them. i cannot say i will enjoy doin so. but please forgive mi for my ignorance.
