....... MemoRieS......

perhpas perhaps perhaps

2007-03-04T00:08:00.000+08:00

Its rare tat ur world come crushin down on u. even rarer tat those whose world have been totally wiped out are the ones to be dere to console u when u utmost need it. perhaps this is the nature of life. oni pple whom seen the whose can truly comprehend whats nt, and be able to milk every ounce of good out despite all the F*** shit thy get. perhaps....

results are out. and true enough they suck. ironical. despite all knowledge and enthusiasm to convince miself tst this was perhaps the most likely outcome, tat i have seen it comin way b4 the meteor landed, i felt.... nt sad, rather mad. didnt noe wad i was mad at either. juz was. suddenly stuff were goin haywire when relatives foned in, parents anxiously ask if u qualify and worst, cousins who console u even b4 u started tryin. it was a realli hard pill.

too mani choices. too mani tings. perhaps sum stuff oni when u give u truly recieve. [erhaps sumtimes when no matter how u run, u can neva catch up to the person walkin ahead. perhaps....hard work does nt pay off in equal rewards. u may nt reap what u sow. This may well b a reality of life. and tat today i truly comprehend- to qwell the bitterness u must 1st empty the container.

time lapse

2007-02-25T17:42:00.000+08:00

In a blink of an eye, 2 months have just went pass lidat. this 2 months had nt been easy. the transformation from a civilian to a soldier is though nt gruellin as rumored, but these two months have been paved with sweat and blood. Its nw tat being confinedat home, not able to dive into the welcomin streets of orchard like i used to tat i realise how tyme realli pass. how meaningless life can and would be. i am though, grateful tat 2 months of monotonously followin orders had nt made mi lost sight of wads important to mi, but made mi aware of de other areas tat i have neglected. by next week, the results would be out and plans pretty much finalised- if any. i have neva been much of a planner. this much i believe- man devises, heaven decides. Even so i pray tat all pple do well, whether i may noe them or not. it would be lying to say im nt concerned. it bothers mi how much it matters to those imprtant 2 mi. it bothers mi how im goin to go on. whether life would ever be the same again. another phrase. another transformation. another uncertainty. if it could have been decided, i would wish tat i had the power to in a crude way decide every1s sadness and happiness, as the new li sheng jie song says. i wish i can dictate how u all feel towards it. but alas i cant. hahaha wad am i to do tat when i cant even calm miself down 1st?

nevatheless, life will still continue. on a lighter tone, these week had been a rather good 1. its strange how tyme blurrs along wif tyme every book out. there are tyme i wish tat i can spend together wif my loved 1s, my friends, my family, but everytyme i book out, i find miself at a loss of wad 2 do. so much to do, so little tyme. and suddenly vola, back in camp again. perhaps its just the fatigue messin wif my mind. yesterday, i and euny went tp catch the chingay p[arade without the hc even though it was my initial plan to go along wif them, but 2 mani pple couldnt make it. it was just freakin unfortunate tat tings turn out the way they are-sick durin daves big day. i certainly miss the days we met up every sat. aniway the parade was kinda cool this yr, cos there wasnt much of a parade but rather it was more of a street performance and the dancers were realli good. the band was good too, butthe crowd were less than fantastic. it ws just sad. no festive spirits at all. ai singaporeans.

after which we went on to ps where we walked round a bit and had dinna. there we saw a couple of familiar faces, like cui and ken(which was kidna odd) and wlison who looked the part of the lion king. we had waffles(eunys treat) and proceeded to the dougby underpass to llok at the gohapon machines. too bad the bleach machine was all out. we then walked to esplande. there was an UNCLE RINGO fair goin on, and we tried our luck at 1 stall which required to shoot the ring from the bottle. wth, i missed all my shots! it was realli depressin. (well for pandy it was sad lah =)) as u can expect we returned home empty handed =( nvm though, i promise to get a bigger idiot monkey the next tyme we go. well im kinda in a rush so tats all. hope to blog again real soon.

a civilians end

2006-12-14T23:49:00.000+08:00

its always hard to say goodbye. 2 a close friend.2 ur family. even to sumting as simple as msnin. all of a sudden, i feel like a dyin man (sori, just cant help feelin at way). its just att it seems weird tat all of a sudden, 2 years of jc life just went pass, and most of all 16 years of civilians- a lifestyle ive come to accept, recognise and love. so as 1 can say, its realli hard when u noe tat u may wake up 1 day and find urself missin all the stufff u have.

call it a bane or a blessin, this 2 years, life have been gr8, since the day i steeped in ny. though regrettably, 1 couldnt make it into the skool as a permeant student, i did nt resent the fact i was once a student taht. rather, i was grateful, despite the usual sacarcism, i was happi i got the chance. most of all i was realli glad i had de chance to meet the hc pple. though at tat tyme i was fallin outta a crush, wif them around, life became much less complicated-sumting i looked forward 2. they became more than my classmates and they became my friends- if closeness is a good measure, theyre prolly wad i would consider family, though we meet nt often and driftin a[art is inevitable. howeva, despite all tat, i love my 'family' - a rather disfuncional 1, but nevatheless my family just like my real 1.

as vin the rather smartass dota king said, tings will change, but hope just for de worst. i guess tats true. i dun wana change. i hope to remain miself. so tat i can continue to be a part of my family. my world... but alas... sumetimes it realli sux to be mi. i wun be a psoer and say i wun miss all the stuff, but ill miss each and every1 of the pple, the stuff tat have accompanied mi wif my journey especially my panda. quoted from shiva in rave, lifes a journey. to live is to travel. to mi 1 journey has ended while another has began. the journey may nt be easy- the road rough and the burdens heavy, but all u need are friends and family who carry them nt for u, but wif u.

also i had a gr8 day today, one ill remeber for a long long tyme (even given my goldfish memory) we celebrated vins and shutigns bday. the food was gr8 despite cui comin late and stuff. but nevatheless, it was realli gr8. it left mi wif no regrets to leave for the army.ck the bois job is done. its tyme for ck the man to stand out and protect his country. and lastly take care all.

...............

2006-11-28T22:52:00.000+08:00

Look into the past and c who u used to be. tink bout the future and the storms tat u have weathered. feel the last of joy as adulthood takes it toil. sever the ties tat bind for they will cloud ur mind. leap into the world unfolding, n u shall find ur new torch shinin- for the end only brings another start.

all in name of change as the journey begins, its tyme to shed the burdens. to realise tat naviety is no longer a faith u can allow urself to sink deeper into. to rationalise and sought the everchangin truths. to c beyond the hypocrism and be reborn anew. one may find tat the beginning may ultimately be the end. tat after the journey, we wind up at the beginning.

the future....

2006-11-12T22:20:00.000+08:00

For aniting tat has a beginnin, an end is undeniable. inevitable. It is simply a way of life. wad future is there, when all there seems to be is and end for everyting we do? perhaps for mi tat tyme has come. The human mind is irrational this i heard mani pple say. we all 2 a certain extent, believe what we wana believe in. its our nature. to deny the end. to hold onto habits. or even to justify our wrongdoings. the list goes on.... i wonder when that tyme comes. what will i do.... wad my future holds... guess ut just means i have to wait.

work an life

2006-09-16T23:24:00.000+08:00

went wif euny to catch the devil wears prada! damn shiok! in golden class! neva go b4 de. but wad i meant to says tat the movie was realli kind good. nt becos the leads a chio bu. my becos they have enough clothes to make u drool. watching the movie was aside from exciting cos the cio bu, kinda enrichin. it made mi realise how stupidly childish i was. how i mocked at sly and ever so quickly termed them the no lifers they were jus becos they loved wad they were doin and i didnt. sure, my life wasnt gr8, but it is undeniably good. i dun haf pple at my becks and calls and loads of cash stuffed into my fat walletm, and wake up early everyday . but i wad i do haf. is a wonderful family,(prolly a wonderfully annoyin 1 but at the veri least nt disfunctional.) i haf my life. i mean sure, skools rough and stuff. but at the least i have my weekends to spend wif my close ones.

its nt a wrong to love ur job. but wad matters tat we understand wad we hold mroe important to us than all other stuff. work isnt sumting we need to despise. its just a part of life. u dun haf to love it and stuff. but if u do. then make sure u noe ur priorities. tats just all =p

xing Fu

2006-08-27T19:14:00.000+08:00

for those of u who noe chinese,(all claim to noe) xing fu simply means fortunte or more accurately, life of bliss. i for 1 am a XIng fu person. why one may ask. especially after evidently the setbacks i faced. the humiliation scrotched onto my very vunerable ego. it does nt make sense. BUt who eva say it did?

all pple encounter setbacks be failing ur exams which happen too occasionally for sum, probs wif friends,loved ones, even monetary issues. its is usually through this we experience how fortunate we are when we prevail through the chaos.

to put it simply, it does nt matter how much a person has endured or needs to face. its how one copes. if a person hurts u, so be it. easier said than done one says. damages done and all. but if he was de person u imagined him to be, tings wouldnt have turned out the way it did. the pt? its nt worth it feelin upset at sumone who isnt there. or more appropriately sum1 who doesnt deserve to be there for u.

and on the other hand. one need not be ashamed tat he does wad he does- hurts others. its just wad he chose to do. and while it is pples decision to slam the word ' fault' on him, it does take considerable thinking y he deserve it at all. the blame. the concern. for if he is blessed wif it, then its up to him to decide its fate. if he didnt even deserved it in the 1st place, then surely he doenst desrve to hold onto it.

hope this entry sets u thinking. or betta clear the doubts u have. tata

sum stupid game euny cooked up

2006-08-12T01:44:00.000+08:00

rules and regulations: look in euny blog

1. to a friend wif an oily nose. i tink i noe u inside out and u do 2. although admittedly im nt a very nicer person(and u arent also) i still tik ure the best friend a guy can have . even though u need a bathe after pe.

2.to my piano mentor. ive not known u long enough. but ure a valured mentor to mi. and also a corny drama guy who i can count on( for most times) at the least.

3. to a very tan guy. well it doesnt matter if timing dun fit. just keep urself up and well.

4. to a always high canteen gal. tahnks for puttin up wif mi when im stressed lyke at the start of days sumtimes!

5.to a selfish hum ji. thanks for showing mi the light. and the ropes. even though u noe. read infront

6.to a hyperactive tracker. gte over ur loss. its nothing to dwell over sumting tat cant be gotten back.

7. to another long eared mammal. the last lap is always the hardest. double up!

8. to a sarcastic bat. thanks for guiding the blind guy when he needs it the most

9. to a drunk fella. sumtimes its betta take things as they come. dun expect too much. but ure drfinitley one of the smartest guy i noe.

10. to an idiot panda. i neva bully U!

Anger.

2006-07-09T22:18:00.000+08:00

ya noe. i heard a stupid funni story recently. But unfortunately it was a funny how the sad part totally overwhelmed the funni part. and most of all it angered mi. ya c the story goes like this.

Once upon a tyme, there was a guy, a talented composer and pianist who was dedicated to his music, the only love of his life. Then one day, while he was crossing the road, a vehicle rushed outta nowhere and knocked him now. Whether by fortunate or sum miracle, he survived the ordeal. for most part his body was badly injured but everyting was intact and given tyme would heal. there was one ting though. HIS eyes.

when he awoke from his coma, he was hysterical upon findin out bout his eyes. no one was surprised. gradually he sank into depression. despite comforting from his close friends and companions, he was convinced that he had lost his life- he now lived as a man who lost his only love.

one day he was drinking himself silly and his friend spottin him, decided to go and comfort him.

Friend: stop drinkin this instant and go homr. do u have any idea how worried the others r bout u?
pianist: hahahaha i lost my eyes! why the hell would i mind losing a few more friends?

IT was this moment his friend suddenly stood up and delivered a punch to his face.

Friend: would u take a look at urself? U deserved no pity. u tink tings round u are bad? u keep tinking ure the worst off? LET MI TELL U WAD. URE A FAR CRY FROM WAD THEM. not becos u lost less. BUt becos u chose to let urself lose the most important part of ur life. U FREAKIN LOST UR HOPE!

Pianist: Oh yeah! why dun u tell mi wad to do then?! wad makes u tink u can order mi round? am i supposed to go round beggin?

Friend: ill tell u wad! U DUN NEED AN ANSWER FROM MI! U alreadi haf the fuking answer! U JUST NEED TO STOP HIDING IN UR FUKIN SHELL AND FACE UP IT. u tink we havent done enough?! for the past few months everyones been worying sick bout u. we did everyting we could for u.
Yet everytyme u said u would get back up, it neva lasted more than a few weeks. AND U STILL HAVE THE GUTS TO BLAME US? LET MI TELL U SUMTING. A MAN WHO PITIES HIMSELF DESERVES NO PITY. AT ALL. Much less a man who loses his sense to his grieve. URE NTH SHORT OF A FUKIN COWARD. a coward who dumps his problems on others.

Pianist: so wad if i am? i dun need u. i dun need ani1 else! I DUN NEED UR PITY!

he then runs off. It was at this moment, another vehicle rushed out. on his anger he had ran across the road without realising it. the tot of death flashed across his mind. it was then he realised. tat he was fortunate to be alive. no matter how unfortunate one life may seem, it was he who decides whether it was worth living for a not. he awaited his death. But it neva came.

It was then he heard.

Friend: u gonna get back up again. go be the person u wana be. im all behind u.

Little did he noe. his friend had shoved him aside and had been the victim of the accident. It was then he realised wad he had done. the consequences of his fukin actions had devastated not himself, but the pple round him the most. beocs of his cowardness. becos he had no balls to face up to his own prob, tat others would always be there to help him up when the tyme comes. But his probs cant be solved by any1 other than himself. even if it was unsolvable, the power to live life happily noeing this still lies with him. he had abused the concern others showed him. he had let down himself and his freinds. he had blamed them when they failed to solve HIS problems.

The moral behind the story. i believe needs no further elaboration. i have said wad i shld have. solve the probs u haf urself. u cant depend on others all the tyme. and u dun need an answer from others. even if an answer is given to u. u only take it into consideration. it still lies with u the choice whether to accept it or nt. and b4 u even start goin off and scoldin pple why thye dun give u a fuking answer. Use tat big smart brain of urs to tink whether u have tkaen their answers into considerations at all. wtfs the pt of givin an answer when u wun follow? when u go back to square 1 everytyme? Ur probs are urs. friends help u out. nt solve it for U. and b4 u start to devastate those round u. take a look into the mirror. u hardly c the saint.

my bday.

2006-07-02T20:44:00.000+08:00

it just struck mi(along wif a reminder from a dumb panda) tat i hvaent written any ting bout my bday. well supposedly i would have long engraved it in my memory , a day as important as this, but alas. im but me. so it pays to jote stuff down especially things we all wana remember. of cos when i have pple doin it for mi (hehehe) i dun need to , but since im all the nice person and stuff. ill do it miself .

Wed 14th june was a special day. IT was my bday. alreadi plans were unfoldin and runnin amok even as i woke up. apparently however, the 1st part of a plan was gettin a decent pair of footwear since i was a shoey guy, slippers werent exactly in my league of shoes. so its tyme to call for help. being the bday boi, i had no qualm bout using authority to make every1 submit to mi/.com'on, who would be nice and stuff when they can be a tyrant de? well certainly nt mi.

so it was that. woke up early and rushed to eunys house to get a pair of slippers. however, it was nt that simple. sumting horrible lurk in the depths of the pandas cave. sumting i had no idea was there( thx to sum very unreliable info) when i reached the void deck, i called to ensure euny was up. and she had news. HER MUM WAS HOME> knowing tat i was up against a formiable foe, i took precautions my visit was brief and clean. after a brief uncertaiun interval wif her mum, we all got my slippers( her bros) and we headed out. lATe of cos.

when we reached, cui and vin were alreadi there. the others were late. us per usual. sweez arrived later and von did 2. nana arrived the latest. bu no 1 minds waiting for a chio bu de i guess =p we went to 7 11 after a brief chat( mi and sweez and de others about his haircut) while the gals about how stupid pandas are. well, being de nice guy i was, i treated nan to a choc bar, thus, clearing my treat debt without her even noeing it. it was a cold calculated brillant move =p one tat im proud of.

we reached eastcoast and nana suggested we go kayaking. hwoeva there was a BIG prob. i n dave had no shorts. xtra one i mean. cos the stupid oraniser didnt sae bring more shorts laong. she only say clothes. so we did tat LITERALLy. after walkin a damn long way, we reached the bar. but euny didnt wana go. BUT after sum persuassuion, she agreed hahaha or rather was forced to agre, since i was de KING of de day.apparently haeaven play a trick on mi. and i was on the same boat as euny, de oni 1 with no swimmin experiecnce and near zero kayaking dilligence. so suddenly i found miself gettin 50 kg heaviuer in a boat. and it was fillin wif water becos sum lame panda was tinking that we couod sun-bathe. literally. -_- which in turn resulted in mi= very tired cow. =( idiot panda. we raced swez and managed to win though. cos i was GOOD. and we even managed to bang cui. though after a very long interval.

we got back to shore after pple were starting to look like the lobster in the swensen menu. and for euny the pink panda keychain. but nevatheless, we were all jovial and exhuasted. expecially pple who got stuck wif scared pandas who scoop water and slack.the gals then got back into the water and sang the bday song. it was kinds scary though. like a cult and we were all doin sum kinda sucidal ritual.

after ta we went for a brieft shower but the gals couldnt get enough of the disgustin slaty seaater it seems. even those wh cant swim. after like the 689891470892174089217 times in the shower, the gals decided tat the sea water suck and we all decide to take a decent bathe.of cos once again, the dumb panda didnt bring her towel. so we all waited like half an hour for her. and then we all went to take a bathe. apparently we all dropped the idea of bathin. and the gals took like close to 1263981728937 years to get their hide outta the toilet. when they found us in the mac, we were all cobwebs and suffering from a hunger strike.

so we ate our lunch and we then decided to bike! but dave couldnt, so we taught him. he was a fast learner. and most of all we were good teachers. =p the carnival was a flop though,. cos euny and evon were lyke.. eeeeeekkkk MUD!!!! -_- and we were like eeekkkkkk blood!. apaently the rc pple see too much of blood to get intimated by it liaoz. stupid blood drive carnival. and i tot it was a fun fair. i had no idea they organised a swamp. -_-

after all of tat, we pon the carnival and went to chat instead, it was realli nice to just sit there and stuff. despite the mid years and stuff comin. i would kill for another sunset like this. then we went to PP for dinna! swensens was on. and i realli took a huge beatin cos i didnt realise sweez was the YUMMY king. nt a but THE. he practically black holed in half an earthquake and a topless five!!!!!!!!!!!! tats like a whoppin OWNAGE! A DOUBLE KILL! halfway, we all went to buy ER mo Zai shen Bian. apparently i got cheated. cos the main character looked like a flp comapin between the two faces of de VCDs. hahaha it was realli funni when sweez went OMFG! its realli de devil! but euny didn look too happi though. =p but who carez? im the king mah ( extotred king lorhz. stupid panda and gang)

After tat , we all went home happily eva after. DE end! =p

cheekis adventure.

2006-06-23T23:28:00.000+08:00

SUmetimes a man just gonna do wads a man gonna do. today was 1 of these days. especially since i was A SINGAPOREAN guy. the check up was an inevitably stupid event just sticking outta my butt like a thorn. well at least i got it over wif. got over to the CMP buidling at 715. oni to realise i was like de ONI guy there without a pass. (since the otehr check up dopes havent arrived yet) well check up was supposedly goin to start ONI at 8. so i waited rnd a while b4 ww and ck arrived. (yes i noe. its ANOTHER ck.) well the guard was feelin pretty good so he let us in for an early breakfast and stuff.

well 1st was the damn fotoshoot. i knew i shld have cut my hair. Today was just de day to prove my pt. well we had to take a foto rite. since my hair pretty much curtained all my handsome features =p so the officer suggested sumting else. using water to lift my fringe. didnt work. well at least didnt when i did it. then the officer decided to do mi a BIG FAVOUR and help mi instead. holy shit. i turned from curtain boi to grease 90s retro boi. pretti much a living fossil -_-

then the urine and blood test. need i say more> painfully embarrassing. especially when sum dopes in the toilet wanted to fleck their precious bladder deposits round to start a urine war. and we were 1st tymers. so... u can guess. the blood test. was like can u relax and dun flex? b4 i can even answer, i alreadi bled. stupid test.

then was the dental. the dentist and his assistant look like brock lesnar in a cartoon. seriously they look HUGE. and they were pretty lame 2. and the clerk was a fukin jerk. i handed my file but he daoed mi. so i bo bian. went excuse mi. and then he gave that fukin jiao face and said cant u wait? i seriously tot of smashin his face into the screen. but the 2 brocks made mi noe betta.

then the medical test. height and weight. and bp stuff. preety funni cos we were like tryin to lock my locker. cos apparently i placed it upside down. so we spend like 20 mins tryin to get it rite. -_- then we went 4 the iq test. apparentl i astounded miself how smart i am despite not noeing how to lock a locker.

The iq test sux. big tyme. oni the sequence test was reali simple.the worst was the physics and the memory 1. realli screwed up i tink =p well aniway, tat sums up my enounter in the CMP.

But if u tot cheekis adventure has ended, u r wrong! it just started. becos of the 4 of us. none knew how to get our butt outta the place. ck( nt mi for the second tyme) anihow picked one road and e started walkin, without noeing where the hell we were headin. apparently he HAD A MAP BUT HE WAS 2 lazy to take it out. &^#!%@&*#!^&*.... ended walkin in de harbour front direction when we were tryin to get to queen way. in the end? we took like an hour to get our butt there.

wad was even more sori was the hawker encounter. man u neva believe how dangerous the hawker was. fun of lies and unsuspecting sugar cane aunties askin to franchise all their 'authentic sugar cane drink' worse was the famous claypot laksa aunty who gave the fuked up face when we asked to pay serparately. i neva knew hawker were that freakin high and mighty de. i could have just thrown money in her face if she would dip her head into the claypot. no conditions attached. well.

the great finale, was of cos getti home. for the otehrs they all had a same bus. 855. mi. DUNO. so i figured i called euny. but i 4got le =) so instead i hopped on sum bus after askin the driver if it stopped at tpc. and vola! im back! and thus ended my day adventure. =( the sleepin part i itnk ill skip.

EMO!

2006-06-11T22:55:00.000+08:00

R u an Emo person? well, fret nt! for Doc ck is back here again. Doc Ck proudly presents -guide to ending emos and conquering ur raging hormones.

Well the 1st step to defeatin Emo is to well, recognise ure emo. well how? u ask. well thats why im here.

1.) Do u have a bad dream and get upset over it the whole day?
2.) Do u hate it when pple dao u or leaver durin a dota game? (as in HATE. meaning wana kick his butt or sumting)
3.) Do u spur vulgarities frequently on impulse?
4.) Do u feel like killin ur parents when they disappear with dinna?
5.)Do u worry bout uness stuff, like how u look and stuff?

IF ur answer is yes to ani of teh above, CONGRATULATIONS u R an Emo person! if ur answers are all no then its too bad since my guide also covers te emo pple. so u can click on the sign red cross button u c on the top right hand side of ur screen.=)

well. now the crucial part. how to stop being emo. while the other docs may recommend therapy and seeing a shrink, my method is simple. nt fuss, simple 3 ways.

1) Wheneva u feel emo, try relaxing and countin 1 to 10 and breath and out. thats if u an count. if u cant ,then skip this method.

2) well, give in. for example u feel mad at a person. u tend 2 wana spur all ur explict content on him. well. u shouldnt. wad u CAN do is, give it to him. a nice simple punch will do. or maybe a kick in the groin( nt suitbale for guys enemies cos it hurtZ! REAL BAD!). or a german supplex wouldnt hurt either.

3)the last method. the most crucial method. go get the yellow pages and search for pastors on demand. u can always confine ur anger and stuff on sum old geezers. if it doesnt work, try divertin ur emotions on the pastor and go for method 2.

well tats all folks!

the love guru.

2006-06-10T23:16:00.000+08:00

had a tok wif sweez the love guru today. Its been quite a while since we actually spoke man to man. well it neva fails to astound mi how much sweez has grown as a person. (and how wise and old he sounds 2. sori sweez =p) well for most part though i was goin like huh? wads tat? or 0_0 or simply, i dunno. it set mi tinking though... how much does one do for a relationship? isit the fun u have tat makes u a couple? or the probs uve been through. sweez stood upon the pinnacle of his theory. a balance. only when this two coincides does the relationship works.

nt only tat, sweez say sumting else as well..... a relationship is built on understandin ultimately, the weakness and strongpts of ya companion. no one can go on likin another person foreva. its accommodatin to his/her weaknesses and needs tat makes a relationship goes. oni 1 which can understand and accept each other wholeheartedly can one claim a relationship to be true. and last even when love passions dies out. (wadeva tat is cos i dunno. but it sounds kinda deep dun ya tink )

hmmm sumhow this isnt wad i had in mind entirely. we all oni seem to tink tats oni 2 sides to lov. either u do or u dun get it. the conventional would be u get it u win. u dun, u lose. howeva watching women of times last nite.... i felt the.. different. how doe sit matter if 1 gtes love or nt? u still live it throughout dun ya? didnt u used to do so elegantly even b4 u met ur love?

Is life all over even if u dun have love? HELL NO. tats the answer women of times gave. Its nt whether hwo painful it is, but how painful u let it be.... tink bout it...

Satisfaction.

2006-06-01T22:16:00.000+08:00

Todae, sumthing which was nowhere short of a miracle happened. my Bio teacher praised mi. yeah u heard it rite. PRAISED mi. and it kinda send mi class into the WTF state. expecially sly and sum of the gals i presume.well at least sorta. it kinda choked mi i guess. it neva occured to mi teachers were supposed to acknowledge the unconventional means the students cook up, or worst, approve. his words were. ' well u all dun ave to copy word for word from the slide.

u need to grasp the concept. theres a person amongst u who despite neva copy down a single word or do hw managed to do well for his tests. it shows he understands his concept very well.' the clues were unmistably clear. no copy= sum smart guys including mi. neva do hw= mi alone.

surprisingly i wasnt happi. nt the slightest bit. infact i retaliated. ' but i do Copy ur stuff.'and his reply was, ' wad did u copy?' it then struck mi then. BEIng acknowledge for ur stength isnt sumting. Its ur efforts , when recognised tat are commentable. There nothing to be proud of even if u are smart. but alas i am a long way from smart. but wad i dun get is. why do pple fail to acknowledge my hardwork when evidently i did put efforts?* well sorta anyway.

i recall a passage i read, bout the cow and the horse. the cow, a domestic favourite was hardworkin but dumb. the horse on the other hand was the fast learning but lazy 1. traditionally, the horse was idolised for its intelligence. but later, it was the cow who prevailed through hardwork. but in the modern era, its the hybrid, the corse who wins. it is he who exhibits intelligence and hardwork. SO may i ask.... R u the cow, the horse, or the corse?

simplicity.

2006-05-28T21:38:00.000+08:00

hmmmm... theres nothing much to blog bout lately so i havent been updatin. so i just tok bout last friday when i went out wif de hcers to catch da vinci, which (nt to my surprise, ended up as a flop, since tatically the 1st step to catchin a movie was to get the tix and well. u cant possibly imagine to get 1 on friday nitez at j8 de.) so we instead stick to wad we do best. planning wad to do- without followin he plan in the end tat is -_-. well that was tat and we all found ourselves sitting in a raffles infested foodcourt and mi suddenly becomin a waiter. 0_0.

hmmm then cui arrived. and we al looked at him carefully shelled his prawns. which was kinda -_- but nevatheless i picked up sumting at the least. =) well i was kinda disappointed we couldnt watch the show, but then cui said sumting. it struck mi kinda hard. ' coming out together is good enough rite?' and b4 i could even tink of how to answer i alreadi had the answer. he was rite. why fuss over the details, wad matters is that we came out together. the movie was so nt the pt. since gr8 spore sales now on anyway. i dun mind =)

my pt is..... take sumtyme off occasionally and look at the stuff round u. sumtimes, its nt wad u dun have. its wad u dunned. lifes neva tat smooth. sumtimes, it just pay to look thing in the eye, with simplicity on de mind.

truths and lies

2006-05-21T21:38:00.000+08:00

in accordance to the recent rise in the no of lies, ive gladly, notifying the surge in such dishonest act, decided to wrote an entry 2 teach ya all how potentially harmful lies can b.
1 should neva lie to parents unless they realli haf 2. it is unspeakably evil to lie to ur parents becos they are tatically the reason behind ur existance. though they may have failed in teaching ya to tell the truth which in turn infers that they suck at teaching, they love u. so u shouldnt lie to them.BUt of cos there are exceptions.

for example, on mothers day, u can lie to ur mum u love her. its a perfectly good white lie. and when ur mother makes an effort to dress up, u should comment shes pretty. pretty ugly if u realli cant stand it. and of cos there are times u need to lie to save ur butts. but ONE should neva, i repeat NEVA TELL PARENTS LIES ABOUT GOIN DINNA WIF HER USUAL GROUP OF FRIENDS> ITS UNFORIVABLE! and well if ya did just that, then u just ensured a place in hell le. NO exceptions to stupid pandas. or lame pandas. or stupid AND lame 1s. =)

in conclusion, no one is perfectly honest save for a few noble souls out there. like the Pope, our MM and of cos mi. But that doesnt stop us from *tryin to be honest. kk if u realli stand NOT LYINg, then there 3 options. u can either

1) warn ur victim that u r gin to lie. ( for example, u can tell her, im nt lyin when im tellin ya i will lie to ya.) so that the impact is minimised.

2)burn more paper money. self xplainatory. ull need them when u go there for vacation.

3) apologise and feel remorseful, AFTER u tell the lie. cos u neva tell then u wun feel remorseful le mah. this guide is to save u from goin hell. so must well tell 1st.(or lie bout feelin remorseful and apologise even though it may feel as if ure goin to kill urself over it.)

love lectures notes

2006-05-14T01:26:00.000+08:00

read eunys blog. well heres my own advice.decided to write my own. WITHOUT COPYIN AND PASTING LIKE SUM LAZY BUM.

hows guy realli feelin inside.

1. when a guy tells ya hes feelin sad, hes expecting chocs from ya.

2. neva eat a guys brownie. cos he will be an angry guy.

3.always compliment how good his hair looks after he has a haircut. cos he neva gets haircuts for fun.

4. neva tell a NS man about his bald head.

5.a guy is always egoistic. trust mi on this. especially after a gd test. let him gloat for a while. u can laugh at him when the results r out.

6. when a guy offers to pay for ur dinner. he either tinks ure goin to beat him to the bills or hes juz a big generous idiot.

7.when a guy msges u for no reason. he has free outing msges.

8.when he calls u for no reason. be sure he has free outgoin and he'll hang afetr 4 secs askin u to call him back.

9. if he didnt he an idiot .

10.when a guy reaches home. the 1st 3 hours he;ll be inaccessible becos he'll be dotain

11. neva tell a guy hes short. (unless ure taller)

12. neva tell a guy hes unfit(unless ure fitter)

13. neva make a guy pout

14. if a guy tells u u look stupid. chances r hes being honest.

15.guyslike pple to tell them they got nice bags. * and chokers. and watch and......

16. when a guy takes an initative in a relationship, its most likey he lookin for an answer.

17. guys sucks at comforting. unless theyre feelin inspirational at the moment.

18. Nice guys finish last and fone pple up to get scoldings, and pay fone bills.

19. all guys love gundams and samurai. they r nt guys if they dun.

20. when a guy changes for ya. it means ure more important to him than all tat eva matters

the declining factor.

2006-05-01T22:03:00.000+08:00

its seems tat in this modern era, parents are always seemingly trying ways and means to dig their way into the pile of secrets their children(behind their backsof cos) pile up. i mean a white lie or two wouldnt hurt nw would they? take me for example, just becos i signed my results slip for a year or two doesnt mean i do it all the tyme. nw where has tat issue of trust gone?
thinking over it i came out wif 3 main factors.

1) my dumb parents. i may have told them bout my results but they didnt remember.
heres a sceniro.

Mum: how did u do for the block test?

mi: fine

Mum : pass or fail ur english?

mi: -_- i gp king leh
tats when she will nag bout how cocky i get and then without fail, the o level incident will pop up like the stupid stopper u install on ur com.

after two hours.

Mum: ur maths?

mi: fail.

next day, she comes bangin into my room with the script i left buried under ... well a pile of paper.' how come u did TAT badly for maths?'u c wad i mean?

2)skool. wads else to say. the source of my Fs. all creditable to the wonderful institute. which neva fails to put tat wonderfully pissed off look on my mums face every term.

3) mi. for being a son of my dumb parents.

Lately tings just got a whole lot worse. when the air con in the master bedroom broke down. my parents, being the genius they were decided to move in wif ther dear son. now tats wonderful. a family reunion. ISNt tat JUST GR8?! now when i miss the naggin when i return home early, i get to heat the retelecast at nite!plus its LIVE! nt to mention a fone bill checker. who (though it doesnt pay the bills) is programmed to nag mi of the fone.

Oh and i 4got to mention i just became my dads secretary! well, being the responsible mi-su i am, i get to
1) terminate his bills online
2) hear him tok bout how vulgar sum of my friends blogs are
3) help him check up on billy wangs remedy for keepin skin supple.
4) hear him nag bout how late i sleep everyyme i use the com

so as u can c, there are loads of stuff we can actually do wif our family, if we stop a while and tink, its more than wad we can do. its more like what u can do for them. and wad they can do to u. now who says i dun love my parents? i just love my goldfishes more.so the next tyme ure tinking of yellin a ur parents, tink bout wad i said.

At the beginning.....

2006-04-30T17:20:00.000+08:00

yesterday was definitely a day to remember. it was the NY colours of the world, where ny showcased its local talents to all, both students and outsiders. well the event started off nicely, with Co playin. despite the conductor lookin oddly familiar, like sum1 i could only define as the main character in the excorism of emily rose, the event went well. it was quickly followed by sum guy playing the flute and his companion who was playin a god-noes-wad. it sounded marvellous though. and then theres the guitar and co mixed, which wasnt quite anyting i heard b4.

after tat, i lose track of the sequence, but the percassion grp were real good. i muz say tat they were full of energy, which kinda revitalised the entire concert, given the monontonous old man conductor in guitar. (sori crisp) perhaps its just mi bah. but after the ONE (ones actually) sang, the rest of the performance didnt look sounded as appealin as they did le. save the indian dance. maybe their singings addictive or sumting?

ANd crisp gelled his hair. he looks kinda different. Much betta i would say. and shuting was gd 2. despite her syain tat she broke her gu zheng string or sumting. well i couldnt c at all. cos i didnt have my spects wif mi. 2 mi, they all looked like they were typin stuff. but it sounded gr8 too! and the second piece by the guitar was reali nice 2.

then the indian dance came, and they.... were gd. which was kinda surprising. and so were the choir, despite their corny act. the breakdancers were xcellent as well. realli damn powerful i would say. although yh sid they were nth compared to sum super guy from zhonghua.

when we wen to find nana after the concert, she was kinda sad cos she said she messed up. i couldnt c how. i mean, i didnt sense aniting amiss at all. and besods they pulled through, without marcus. they were gr8. realli made the crowd high. -_- but then she started gettin paranoid sayin pple starin at her cos she messed up ior sumting, i mean when ure as pretty as her, it would be weird nt to recieve glances from the guys. lest theyre from broke back moutains.

took fotos and bidded farewell to nana. went to j8 to eat. after which we went home. and was realli anxious i dun even noe why, when i walked euny to her doorstep. cos she said her mum was nt goin to scold her wif mi around. yeah i noe. she was goin to scold sum1 else. namely sum stupid ET cow called ME, cheekiang. but tings werent as bad as i tot. i neva gt to c auntie even cos i chao after i waved euny goodbye.

went down to realise i didnt have change! then went to 711, got my change and went home after a realli 'heartwarmin' call from mum. did sum stuff and chatted a while b4 i went to sleep. zzzzz

then its today le. realli sianz dunno y. sunday always sux de. ieven when tmrs a holiday. cant concertarte for sum stupid reason. sumtings buggin mi but i dunno wth it is. ai... ended up doin 6 questions of prob in like 5 hours.... gg man. =p sunday a home is no fun at all

burnt

2006-04-28T22:06:00.000+08:00

if theres a phrase to describe my mood nw, its just tat, 'FREAKIN SIANZ.' Dunno why but suddenly feelin all emo and fuked up. when tmrs supposed 2 be sat. perhpas its got sumting to do wif the NAFA test tmr. realli.... i c no pt in turning up. especially when it does seem kinda ridiculous to jump 220 nt when im barely 200. after all those training on pull ups, and now im failin on this shit? gr8 man. jus great. dun noe if ill eva pass but im givin it a shot to at least try. well i figure tat even if i do fail tat, i dun haf to redo the other stations.... but... still it does feel kinda stupid. or perhaps PATHETIC is the word.

and nt to mention tuitions tmr 2. seriously i cant stand another lesson just listenin to lectures and lectures. and it isnt a gr8 secret today either my test didnt went as well as i tot. thpugh nt in a position to fail, im nt exactly top graded either. well i guess tat can be worked upon...

but its still the damn nafa im worried about. hahaha gr8 man. juz when lifes starting 2 look up. for this year. i noe its stupid to get mad at the inevitable. i noe cos i scold pple tat all the tyme. but i cant help feelin tat at the moment. and mum isnt helpin eiither by screamin and nagggin at mi for tmrs skip on her shoppin trip and stayin out late (of cos tat includes offin the fone and hangin her calls)

Funni eh? how stupid little stuff can just destroy ur mood lidat. im starting to find sum truth in jin hao and ww words le. perhaps i do realli haf periods. at least when i start punching walls after a maths test or sumting. but this isnt all tat simple nw is it? Lookin at kai heng nw, perhaps stayin back or headin poly would would have seem a betta choice. but.... nvm i wun complain le. since im feelin betta nw after all the crap i wrote. =p stupid phrase i picked up- i may nt be smart enough to do everyting, but im dumb enough to try aniting.

euny;s niceness

2006-04-23T22:16:00.000+08:00

hahahaha i tot it would have been pretty dar amusing to blog bout how nice euny was durin our trip today. apparently u can see this isnt sumting one can write withou having been thru certain torments. well. 1st she was early today!!!! which was rarer than the blue moon! it was kinda nice the feeling of havin sum1 wait for ya i admit. perhaps if we do go out again in future, ill be later!!hahaha

and it was even nicer when she offered to pay for the _____. (sori. confidential) despite mi offerin to pay. which was kidna refreshing i mus say.

well she was even nicer when she made mi buy her dinner. which i had a tough tyme orderin becos the person was like huh? u mea u wan another side orderin..... -_-... well... and finally she was nicest to make mi walk her up home 2. well.. since im nt allowed to blog bout most of the things. i guess tats it bah. hahaha hope next tyme can update more. =p

respect

2006-04-20T21:18:00.000+08:00

well as u can read above this entry is quite an unusual 1... well basically it all started when i was on my way home, mindin my own business. and then when i sat down next to this old foegy, (whom i presume was a sucker cos he almost set an imprint on my bag) started toking to mi. mi, feelin amused, decided to keep the ball rollin. well things were startin to look weird when he started askin mi wad sub i was taking and wad job i wanted to seek in the future. and wad was worst was tat he started tokin to mi bout the next 60 years or so , how spore economy was goin to get restructured by bio and chemical plants.

just when things couldnt get any weirder, he started tokin to the indian gal and co next to us 2. i was lyke 'wth is this man doin?' apparently he understood wad they were sayin. he said tat she shouldnt hate her bf and stuff. and tat if she let go of her grudge, she would be a more perfect person. as u guess, by this tyme, i was thinking ' sumones gona call the woodbridge. NOW.'

then he turned to mi and told mi how laughter is the best medicine and he started singin sum church song. unbelievably as it seemed. the indian gal smiled. along wif mani others who apparently tot this guy was from the assylum. including th couple. hahaha it was reali funni.
this innova gal and her bf. cos when she wanted to feed her bf, her bf was too embarrassed and the old foegy went, let her. she does tat becos she loves u. i meant he might sound cranky and stuff... but i realsied sumthing. i started to respect him even though i knew him for less than an hour. or half an hour to be exact.

true. he mite seem a bit outta place, but i respected him cos he radiated a deep sense of knowledge and he cant be more rite when he said tat laughter, convincing others to laugh , to smile without restrain or pretense was the gr8s thing a person could achieve. and he did it in a matter of mins!!! and he also added tat it was this quality tata separates fear and respect. i couldnt agree more.

wheni was abouyt to abroad. he asked mi if i was interested to noe who he was. i said yes(dah!)
and he asked mi if i knew who sum professor was. apparently his son was one of the youngest phd holder in teh world!!!! 27 years old with 2 perfect scores for 2 PHD!!!!! wth!!! i was deeply impressed. though he didnt exactly prove it, i believed him. and he told mi to work hard and strive to achieve what i wanted in life.

the trip ended. faster than i expected. while it was strange meeting such a person, it was truly one of the most enriching rides i have in my life. i doubt we will cors path again., but i do noe sumting. the old man may nt have given mi all the answers i seek, but he has given mi the determination to seek them out miself.

KAOZ damn sianz.

2006-04-16T20:42:00.000+08:00

well today was sunday. Just like any other and yet with a twist to it. the Hcers in Rc ended their overnite excursion todae. and to be frank every1 was a tad too exhausted either from 1) slacking ( like euny and tod) or 2) cycling (when shes injured, yh) and 3) vin ( sum unknown reason)
lionel at least i tink his name is, and crisp were kk though. though crisp was on a bad hair day.
and lionel just as the other tyme i saw him was DOOt, but much less intimidatin the other day when he wore his SIR LIONEL shirt. which was..... kinda... ya noe.

Well, i discovered sumting else. my concentration spans is negative de. i mean normally when i do things i dun tink of other stuff 1. but 1 early mornin is all it takes it seems, to break it. well at least i did do sumting rite today. i delievered the essay to euny. it did at 1st glance seem kinda stupid to wake up early t deliver my essay. but a promise is a promise. and their zombiefied looks more than make up for my vailant efforts. wad was realli realli surprising was tat euny even thanked mi!(although i fell off my chair reading it)

im a role model?!

2006-04-14T23:55:00.000+08:00

well. this week has been totally overwhelmin. although i cant say the same for others.(especially those in my pw team.) hahahaha its ure feels gr8 noeing tat u stole ur grades from them when they did al the work. tatically though i DID do sum stuff. well.. nvm. euny and von and shannen and val scored 2 too! hahaha only cui scored 1. and i got a feelin he deserved it. just as the others did. but hey. there have to be 2s so we can noe how gd is a 1 rite? hahaha

and went shoppin at ps today. well i wanted to buy clothes and euny needed to get her friends gift which was seriously overdue. and i mean seriously. well. we met shannen on our way there. it was kinda weird but for sum reason i kept buming into shannen this week. and always its either of us who isnt free. guess i may have to wait a LONG LONG tyme b4 i get to fulfill my promise then.

we had a nice chat. and frankly i felt tat shannen has changed a lot too. well. (actually it only drawn to mi after readin her blog today) but wad i had to say i said in her blog le. and DUN LISTEN TO euny( if ure seeing this) (and if euny, ure readin, pretend u didnt c it kk) well... a promise is a promise. since u idid taticlaly promise to give a performance, then u shld. imagine how ur fans would feel? and u CANT SAY there isnt cos tats a god damn lie. im alreadi 1.

anyway euny and i went round b4 we found her guft. a music box which was kinda weird for sumone as realistic and pratical as her friend. but regardless she bought it down. it was quite cute we both agreed. after which we went to eat dinna. and then we went shoppin a while. and i bought just a pair of jeans. well. i had it altered. cos it was too long. guess i may ahve to go back next week le. so ma fan.

after which we went home. cos she had lect tmr at 8!!! which was nuts. if im her ill pon le. but nvm though therell always be chances to watch movies de especially when u have 30 pairs!!!!! hahahaha but guess i may have tio treat back wif dinner le. hahaha

my happi endin

2006-04-09T00:38:00.000+08:00

been feelin kinda uneasy for the past few days. it all started when i suddenly grew aware, or otherwise(accordin to euny, tot i grew ware tat things happening were exactly how i saw them in my dreams.) and the dream didnt end off too well. and well. i have to be honext to tell ya tat it wasnt the 1st tyme i was seeing this. i had the same thing comin durin a major exams a few years back.... weird isnt it?

anyway went out wif euny 2 shop for my shoes cos my skool shoes jst werent making it anymore le. well. i didnt bought them though. cos apparently i asked a shoppin idiot along. hahaha dun be offended. well. i asked her to help mi choose. then she said her choice dun suit guys de. -_-. and we were at a shelve full of guys shoes.

nvm. watched ice age 2. it was damn funni lor. sure kicked the crap outtta the last movie i watched. it was darn funni the way the sabertooth squrriel kept tryin means and ways to get his nut. well my favourite character was the 2 rats though. theyre just real funky. ANd euny wasnt all tat bad either. at least she didnt sleep. perhaps she decided to give the movie a chance. (or at leas i suspect tat it was becos she bought the tix) and she was de one laughing for the most part. at PREVIEWS. -_- diaoz. and the movie 2. although i had the idea tat if every1 were like her we wouldnt need to buy tix anymore. we can all just sit at the longue and laugh our butts off watching previews.

but b4 the movie, we went breeks for dinner. the queue was realli freakin long... we had to wait at least half an hour to get seated. well, it was kinda refreshing since i neva ate at breeks b4.chatted quite a but there. and i tot i looked kinda dumb when i got all nervous when i couldnt find my wallet in my bag. for a moment i tot we were goin to do the dishes we just ate.

and todae. woke up at 11 and went for my routine, almost monotonous tuition. it was realli silly. since i had no tyme to prepare any questions to ask. ended up doin 3 lects on trigo, PnC,complex instead. it was realli realli heavy. trust mi. the rate im goin. it makes it seems a breeze to complete the syllabus.

well old fogey tok to mi a bit today when we had the tyme. it was then i realised i didnt have all tat much tyme left. and toking to euny yesterday, i decided she was rite. it was whats goin to happen. but wad we do to make them happen. and fogey was rite too. i dont have much tyme left.

i hate to admit it, but daves probably rite when he said we were happier in the past. sure we were. But tat wasnt an issue. wads the issue is the future, and tat has always been an issue for mi. when i start to wonder if im up to it and why de hell im doin all these crap for. more often than nt, these probs just bulk up and vanish when i just left them alone. well. its tyme to reconfigure miself. but there was sumting else i needed to noe...

so i asked euny what kinda person i was. the kind to do stuff and regret and regret nt doin them, she said i was the former. and i agreed. ( i agreed becos i alreai knew i was. i just needed sum1 else to tel mi tat. ironic huh? now tat i got mi answer, at least i have a betta plan of things ahead. or at least i hope tat things go accordin to plan tat is. thx euny. even though u may nt believe it. hahahaha

a stressful week,.

2006-04-02T01:57:00.000+08:00

well. its certainly been one hell of a week. 1st there were the usual skool and stuff. i mean the tuts were literllay enough to bury ya alive. but for those who believed in hard work and toil all day long just so they can be at ease( pple like mi) there wasnt much of a problem. well. there wasnt since i always got to copy anyway. and then there were the test results and stuff. well. apparently the hcers have been plagued wif a real prob of bad luck. and the pple in ny have definitely seen betta days, a whole lot betta days. 2 be frank, still. im nt all tat worried for them at all. for i noe they always had wad it took. and wad it will take.

i wasnt all tat sure. but after chattin round, i guess my fears were unfound. and been having trouble eatin and stuff eva since i caught the hills ahve eyes. kaoz. it was kinda dumb since i was the one who initated the show. and i was the one screening my eyes when the show started, wth.
well. the shows disgusting scene can be described simply... i brought my spects in. but 2 secs later decide they werent all that essential at all. infact two eyes were a hell of 2 mani.

DUN WATCH THE SHOW!!!!! well tatically mosty of us cant anyway. since we all are under 18. but if u wish to go on diet and have sleepless nites, be my guest. next tyme im definitely for ice age 2 le. i tink i had a stressful movie too mani le. i dun need 2 c pple running round and punching holes in each ther skulls. i c enough in CS le....

well. finally. just wana say. no way im losing to euny tonite, and be my witness kk> she owns mi moovie and lunch after this =)

CIP

2006-03-26T20:09:00.000+08:00

went for cip at bukit gombak(dun mind the spellin cos im nt all tat sure) stadium. well. to a certain extend what i saw there wasnt exactly what i expected. (cos sum jackasses told mi that itll be sum primary skool kids event) it wasnt half true. it was the inter school national finals for relays.

to an certain extend the cip wasnt all tat tough. well i guess tat even if was, watching the race and of cos (the chio bu's ) made it all worthwhile, i was in charge of ushering pple round the track which was kinda stupid and stuff.. and i was sacred stiff when sum chio bu from the teresa convent sec threatened to faint on mi b4 i even could ask her to proceed over to rest. Luckily the 1st aiders were there to make my job a hell of a lot simpler.

well another problem was tat ushering the gals were fine. dun misunderstand. i mean i could just tell them to move away and stuff... and i tell ya. its nt all tat easy when u have them comin at the end of the race. especially the losing team. well they dun realli appreciate followin my orders. BUt the guys were the main probs. well. same losing attitude and stuff. buut when u are placed in a body tat is composed of nothing but muscles the results are quite diff. sum cases i was afraid i would get whacked or sumting, especially by the njc pple. kaoz...

well.. despite the minor cuts and sunburn i sustained, this afternoon was realli kinda fun. so guess CIp isnt all tat stupid after all.

2006-03-26T00:26:00.000+08:00

TOday was the day. the 1st day of my sentence to imprisonment- 2 tuition. ya may ask wad i did to deserve it. (or may ask why only nw when i should have long ago. well for majority who chose the why i did part) ill let u in on a secret. ive been floppin maths the way i skip my cca. and it isnt all tat pretty u might say. yes. it IS BAD. well, to be frank.... i found miself in quite a dilemma. y take up tuition if i didnt care i failed. but apparently my parents werent. so.....

well back to today.my 1st impression of my new teacher was 'wTH. im toking to a living artefact the age of the holygrid. ' well and to be absolutely frank for the 1st half an hour when he went through factors i was kinda buzy wif my construction of de floatin castle. and suddenly it just ended and i was to do my assignment. and it didnt started out pretty but i guessed it turned out alrite.

and the day suddenly turned bizzare. and i mean BIZZARE. suddenly tang called mi up and asked mi wat i was doin lately. well, i guess i havent been in touch all tat often nw my life in J2. then sumting happened. the day turned bizzare. i might have sworn it snowed for a min in tp. cos euny and evon said i was very nice to them and they had nothing betta to do and stuff so they wanted to treat mi to ice cream. well i might have tat the incident in roswell was true. and vin was sum super hero villian running round stabbing pples ass. but this?.... hmmm... i may ht noe what they are up 2.. but i guess since its them 2 i cant expect much damage bah....

and bro and mi went to ps today. he went and made spects. and the assistant there strangely enough looked damn familiar. i couldnt quite placed her face until bro came out and sudddenly asked mi. hey was tat person like from hai tun wan lian ren or wad? tats when i recall. when it certainly did look a hell of a lot like the shan ning from dolphin bay, same coloured hair summore. wth. but her hair was short. well. bro says hes goin back to ask. ( although i alreadi told him 138419738921793718739821789379th times tat it wasnt possible in the slightest sense.) still it was kinda fun if it was true .

i even designed the quests he could ask.
well heres sum examples.
' hey ya noe who's xu shao yang?' (cos they are infact a real couple)
' is dolphin bay near here?'
'is this a show or sumting?'

well anyway today sure was weird.

power.

2006-03-18T00:51:00.000+08:00

Seen and heard a lot in the past few dayz.. And i couldnt help but voice my doubt... wad exactly is terrorism? when i turned to the dict, it told mi tat terrorism in its purest form was the act of aggression to instil fear in victims by a person to achiece his or her ends.... Then i asked.... wad exactly do we call terrorism?

Is the bali bombin an act of terrorism? certainly seem so. it definitely sow a common seed in pple; fear. it killed and devastated individuals, more than the 'direct' victims, family friends.... the deceased children..... the bombings were just de start of its chain reactions. a mechanism tat instilled fear in all.....

Then i ask again.... how do we justifiy the interrogating of te criminals? do we consider jammin a feedin tube up the nose to force feed- an act of humanity? do we consider sleep deprivation up 2 20 hours a day for nearly a week an acceptable resolution? If these are acts tat WE, the ones who bear the highy charged label ' anti-terrorist' assort to, then i ask... what are unconscionable means? i cannot help but notice a tinge of similiarity between them....

both seek to instil fear in its victims. while our terror agenda crashes a plane into towers; we force pple; pple whom may be innocent for all you noe, to confess to crimes they may not have committed- by instillin fear. do u nt c.... the irony in tat? when sum1 u love says hes innocent, u believe him. when u friend says hes innocent u give him benefit of a doubt. when a suspect says hes innocent, u say hes lying; even though he emphasizes time and again that his statements were made under extreme duress.. and he recants his previous statements.....

i ask. IS TAT JUST????? do we, the pple who hold the power, use it in this manner to 'benefit' the others? well do we????!! if yes. then im afraid tat terrorism is nt only monstrous and evil, it has made us monsters as well. we have sought ways and means to prevent it from surfacin, neva realisin tat doin so amplifies the similiarities we share.

power is nt sumting one alone can achieve and apprehend. it neva has been. its sumting we achieve only through efforts of all around us. in short, the pple round u empower u. and power can only be used to protect and safeguard.. nt destroy. the ability 2 destroy is simply tat, an ability to destroy.... and tat is wad separates us from them. at least this is wad i feel.

with great powers come great responsiblities.- spiderman said. but ill like to add. only wif great compassion and love can power come along...
well.... dun take it too heavily. this is just sumthing i read up. ck will be back in a day or two.. so tata

wth?

2006-03-16T22:18:00.000+08:00

'the scene was dark. so dark tat u couldnt c darkness. every was silent. dead silent. and the computer screen was blinkin all the more monotonously..... as he stared into the computer screen, cks heart jumped a beat. it was at this moment that he let out a bloodcurdin scream.....'

it was a terrible sight. a sight tat was beyond description. sumthing tat defy logic, bendin the very fabric of reality even by its existence-IT WAS A BLOG ARTICLE ON THE IMPLEMENTATION OF ISLAM LAWS!!!!!!!!!! argghHHHH!!!'

well so much for the story anyway ck in the story died from laughing after lookin the the author of the article. it was a sad day. well. a little of general knowledge wouldnt hurt. and the laws were in favour of men! tats de whole geez!! so it simply is democratic. in OUR FAVOUR. well, im totally for indonesia and if u read the news, USA is too. (well particularly cos they wan the biggest muslim population to support them becos the whole terror campaign thing is gettin kinda stale. and the muslims themselves suffered the consequences of terrorism 2. bali bombing didnt just killed tourist. it killed off tourism and most of all muslims. innocent muslims)

bUt the whole pt? i tot bout it. and i tink im for it!!! =) ( just dun stone mi for death for tat.)

LOuSY holidays.

2006-03-14T22:38:00.000+08:00

Ai.... holidays are in full motion N im beginning to get sick of it le. i mean when we were in secondary or even j1 we would be sumwhere in town or just watchin tv or sumting. and now. -_-
Look at our( well actually my) schedule.

MOnday: bio
tuesday: chem
wed: havent decide yet
thurs: i sincerely hope im still alive then
friday: if its possible maths
sat: NO cHANCE iN HELL iM stUDyIN
sun: prayin session

wel it sux doesnt it? it actually made mi kinda reconsider the words jin hao brought up last friday. i mean do i deserve to be promoted? do i haf wad it takes to get even a single A? wat makes mi tink As gonna be tat simple? AND MOST OF ALL WTHS goin 2 happen if I FAIL>
tat i noe le. but its gonna be a long round back to studyin...which makes it even more stupid.

ai.... even wif sat it doesnt seem lyke holidays much of a holiday is it??? =(
changes tat are inevitable.... learnin to accept or denyin them.... its ur option. we can only try nt to regret.

the holidays

2006-03-12T22:02:00.000+08:00

.... dunno wad to wrote today. no brain juice as usual. but at least the blogs nt rottin. =) mext tyme bah

GG....

2006-03-12T01:09:00.000+08:00

well.. todae started out.... quite differently u could say. woke up to find the house vaccant ... had no freakin idea where mum (or my breakfast for tat matter went) anyway slack round the entire day b4 goin out to meet the others for pool. well. after so long le.... im still no bad lor. even euny indirectly said i was good. well.. hahahah tats bullshit lah. but kinda lucky to get within one ball of josh and sweez... dunno why.

anyway josh wanted to continue kicking our butts over dota. and he was all sceptical and stuff.. u shld have seen his face lor. ai..-_-.....so in the end we played. well.... josh was gr8 as expected but WE( my team) won. take tat!!!!!!!! cos edwin they all say dun let water le. butcher too dangerous summore gt 1 crazy *ck( nt mi) and vin was super pusher. well. edwin and co helped mi a whole lot. dunno why ended up killin them all. hahaahhahaha nt tat its my credit at all. but it was still good after all tat shit from josh. take tat! ( and u realli bastard sia. give face lah. u tokin to my friends leh. wad i suck and he dl .......)

and euny neva got us anitingfrom JB!!!!!.... =(
sad.. sobs

Moo,Mug,Mood

2006-03-05T16:12:00.000+08:00

so bored tat i had no choice but to blog. realli nothing to blog bout. even goin out have become much of a routine to mi le. well.. lets juzt tok bout dinner yestetday then. well. it was kinda refreshing. except that it neva realli came.

courtesy of my DUMB parents who volunteered to get mi dinner b4 rushing off to their stuff. well. they just threw mi and bro to shop and left lidat. wth. and then when i reached home at 10plus, i was alreadi damn hungry le. but reassuringly, i told miself tat they will be back soon. and even after sian jian qi xia they still werent back yet. it got mi kinda pissed... and then. it was 1 le. they foned mi up to tell mi there wasnt any food stall open. i mean WTH... mi being the nice tempered kid i was brought up to be , slammed the damn fone and took to the com instead.

well. todays juz plain borin. well, sundays always been lidat, nt tat im complaining except for holidays of cos. well, spend my mornin muggin maths. and to my greatest achivement yet, i found a quest which euny and cui combined couldnt solve!!! well, tat certainly was refreshin. perhaps its tyme 4 de experts to take a hike huh?

anywae wif comin holidays dun seem 2 be in mood to mug le. damn scared of maths. scared to end up like euny and jin hao lidat. 1 week 5 and a half day like enough for mi le. i dun wana squeeze my hw into sat. ill commit suicide b4 tat happens. anyway happi comin holidays!

haPPi Dayz

2006-03-04T00:11:00.000+08:00

man.... things certainly were intrestin today despite the way they started out. when for starters, i began the day by sleepin. ( dun b surprises... its a habit. well, woke up at 7 to sleep at 715 yill 1200.) damn shiok... so long neva sleep lidat le. then did my usual routine and went to do maths... wa lao.. killer man.. i hate vectors... seriously i need sum1 to save my butt. arrows flyin evrywhere the moment i did my tuts... =(

Then went out to meet euny. As usual i was late. but she was LATER. i meant wth. i oni walked out at 420. and she reached at 500. undisputed champ. queen. and i tot i for sure late king 1. she can fite tang le. then went straight to buy my bag... which sadly came wif no instruction manual.( ull c why later)

anyway we went to swenson for icecream since i was feelin in the mood for it. since it was promotion, i treated euny to ice cream as well. hahahaha 1 dollar oni though she took like foreva to choose.-_-... was damn embarassed cos the waiter was waitin to take orders and we took like 4 mins to choose sumthing worth like 7 dollars?

anyway chatted for quite sumtime. haf to say it was kinda nice to uz relax and chat. havent done tat 4 sum tyme le. especially wif my kinda schedule. =) perhaps could go out again sumtyme.

and then theres the bai yun gang. which started out as sum perverted crazy physcopath play. and processed to 1 nutso kids who had the third eye or sumthing. but still it was quite nice. kept crappin wif von at the beginnin since she and i were lyke wth? catch no ball at all.

then went to practise piano. cui was good. Huimin was the KING though. grade 8. she made cui seem like mi. and mi seem like euny. ( haha u get wad i mean) though she was lyke kinda distant. i didnt tok much wif her. But 1 things for certain. her piano kicked butt.

then went for supper wif the rest of HC except for sweez. whom disappeared half way. anyway hes probably waiting for mommy or sumthin. =) hahaha

and went honme wif von and euny. today was realli a nice day. its days like this tat make mi feel like lifes worth it despite all the bitchin round in skool and outside. and the predestied doom of NS ahead. truely... Numbered days always seem the best. But tat wun stop mi from kickin butt though!

i hate growin up...

2006-03-02T22:18:00.000+08:00

read euny entry on her gramps and an incident suddenly kinda struck mi... I vaguely recall my cher tellin mi tat childhood was the mos fun part of a human life. when u come of age. ull understand why.

come to tink of it. i havent realli given too much of a damn( or even a damn) at all.... over decade of my life, ive come to take my life for granted and along wif it the pple whom i hold dear... everyday was all the same monotonous- goin skool and on weekends goin out..... and comin home to c parents who nag at mi to study, and grandpa who always be there wif my cup of tea ready.

wad if 1 day, 1 of them was gone?? wad would life b like? would it be like the other distant grandpa i had? just a funeral, and everything back to normal? No. life would neva be normal. Normal as i noe it anyway. i always tot human nature was evil no mater how u c it. i always tot pple who said they loved were nothing more than hypocrites.... especially when i have relatives who cried at the funeral and then the next day wanted to bet on my grandpas no. and fite over inheritance.

Now i c its a necessity. we can drown in sorrow for eva. its isnt the human nature. its just life. Simple life. nothing more. perhaps i just wana alleviate my guilt by sayin this.... but what would u do if u were them? cry foreva? or kill urself?? the whole pt of living was to live on for the sake of those u loved in the 1st place. whether they maybe alive or nt. and of cos urself.

and all these just part and parcel of growin up. the pain of knowledge. the burden u havce to carry. burden of knowing tat pple round u are prone to dead and sickness. pple u love. burden of knowin pple u trust backstab u like a choppin board. the knowledge of noeing pple u hate are often the most lyke u...... too much...ignorance is bliss they say. and it seems the founder of this phase was a damn smart alec realli......

and to be frank. im afraid. reali realli afraid..... im afraid ill be like them... get over the things i love when they are gone. afraid tat the tot of losin the pple close to mi becomin bearable. and most of all afraid i might lose the ones i hold endeared..... am i just a coward?? i dunno... but i do noe sumthing. i hate growin up.

stroke of luck

2006-03-02T21:39:00.000+08:00

recently things seem to go all rite for mi. By sum miraculous stroke of luck, i got an a1 and distinction for oral for my Chinese results..... and which is like..... i dunno.. NUTS for mi? im nt exactly the confucius kinda guy or natural talent lyke nana or dave at the sub.... guess muz be super tyco bah.... happi for all of HC 2 since they all achieved at least a B which they always wanted... although sum weirdos hope for a B and get an A still nt happi =) maybe realli nana msg super good luck charm.. kick butt man...

then dunno why i got picked for an interview to go NUS for sum ctap.... of all de pple in class and it was mi.... dunno wad the etacher was tinking.. tink interview sure flop de.... ( i neva had the experience cos i pon the last interview granted all thx to our dear friend euny.....) i alreadi tink its goin to be lyke this.

Cher: so wad qualities do u tink u possess to represent the skool?
mi: pardon?
cher: ^ ( repeated wad she said.)
mi: i got a nice new bag and fone.
cher: so?
mi:good impression for them. =)
cher: im sori... i dun tink~
mi: hey please lah. i friendly personality 2... dun lidat leh. steady lah.
cher: get outa my sight.

of cos i would probably beat him up and get my butt kicked outta skool.

But anyway, not oni tat. it seems tat i finally got the hang of my 1st piece ( or at least a secion of my 1st piece on the piano =) ) after weeks of staying back to learn. i was damn happi when my shifu finally said i sounded kk.

and sum stupid production for yj aniversary wana ask mi 2 act for them. but wth! as a delinquent!!!!! screw them man!~ tat stupid cher said my face was a natural and she wanted to terminate the other 2 applicants when she saw mi.... wth man. and i was passin by.-_-... i dunno whether to be proud or wad.....

and most of all im kinda happ becos i finally got the approval of last year chem teachers darrius... indirectly of cos. he wouldnt praise u even if u were a prodigy. anyway he asked sum questions in class( cos my cher was absent and he was takin over) of cos directed at mi. and i answered them all. correctly.he said he was damn impressed.... cos he said i didnt noe anything for nuts last year. -_-... again dunno whther to be happi or sad....

but nvm.. taking break today.. this weekend then bia!!!!! haha friday holiday!!!!

Comin holidayz!!!

2006-02-26T00:32:00.000+08:00

yay!!! finally holidays comin le.. cant take much more of skool anymore liaoz. everyweek test til i wana nervous breakdown le... anyway guess wad? i got like 22 for organic chem outta 28! cher was dead surprised and well, ( even though i hate to admit, she was like kinda happi for mi) when i was laughing away- guess i was kinda relieved that i passed bah. i was thinking tat maybe the test was too easy to be true. (esp last tyme de maths... kaoz.. i still ot is free frag... wth)

anyway todays sat. went out wif tang to go gym. tat stupid sucker always stand mi up 1. today was no exception. BUT it was precisely becos of tat i got to thrash pple at arcade. so i didnt realli minded. (12 to 1 !! best record le. tat dumb blockhead)

and went gym. worked out quite a bit. got realli realli hungry after tat. chiong bk. after scouting around whole tpc. freakin crowded it was. anyway met euny.. but too hungry to tok.( sori lyke kinda dao de 1st tyme round)

then ate and went to find euny 2 collect notes..... got blackmailed in the process.... kaoz. sumtimes i surprise miself even. how much a idiot i am. and i was tellin tang how stupid he was to get cheated for a dollar by the children saviour( the nutso who went ' No! its not alright. the children are blah blah blah' when tang told him tat it was alrite and e didnt wana donate.)

and then..... -_-... i suck.

nvm though. went aracde another tyme wif tang. played round a bit. KOf again. extended to 20 to 3 le. tat same blckhead waste all his credits on mi. hahaha it was funni. i kept laughing ta tat pathetic old man. keep comin at mi wif credits. blockhead.

then went home only to go out wif parents. bought a simple bag. SNK de. realli cheap. man. i wana get their pants and other bags 2! and shoes!!! gues haf to do tat durin march holidays bah . ANd of cos gte my student pass. finally sorted things out le.tyme to get pass. HOlidays ! here i COME!!

wad future?

2006-02-19T17:30:00.000+08:00

took mi quite a while to realise how freakin a slacker i have become. (at least in the case for bloggin.) it just struck mi now..... theres quite a lot of things i neva reali straighten out.... its only tokin wif syl tat i realise his words were kinda true.... 'whats the use of a life now? having a life is oni importanmt after exams!' (which means he indirectly said he was a no-lifer. which i have been accusing him of being since the 1st day in my new class.)

then WW words did sound logical 2. u neva noe whats gonna hit u. pple like syl probably wouldnt eva get to enjoy life at all. since they neva stop and actually experience. they are neva an object of present. oni the future. to them, the chase itself has become more important den the rewards.
then wad have u achieved in the end?

perhaps its the certainty. the confidence that they have in their future. tat wad they do they are certain would make their lives more fulfillin after all the labour. then again.... pple like mi would have neva tot this far. ( at least nt if i have nt chatted wif syl) wad future? wad can i hope for? wad do i hope 2 achieve? do i even have 1 at all?

i realise i noe nuts bout the future. every1 does. its just de conception or in other cases deception tat things would go as planned if they did things as they were. well... ill neva noe for sure. but what im sure now is that i hope to be able to have a LIFE and a FUTURE.

I was neva the far sighted guy. and i neva will be. im happi nw. and i tink tats wad matters.
i neva ask for much. for i noe my limits. i dun wana regret. but i dun wana regret regrettin.

Winnin N whining

2006-02-17T23:41:00.000+08:00

this week been a hectic week. freakin hectic infact. there was tests here and there, and basically it turned our lives inside out, upside down. wtf. hw were piling up. and Now i have 5 test staring at mi in the eye. guess u could say holy cow.

goin 2 keep it short and simple. thursday was a particularly fruitful day. it was the finals of de one. and turns out. Nana won!!! nice 1. most of the hcers were there except for euny who was downright sick. ONE word though. PERFect. tats what the judges said. and we all had to agree. shannen said it was becos of the 2 guys but we all knew betta, her bring the humble pie. BUT u had to agree the guys were realli realli realli good as well. went 4 dina wif shannen adeline and her bf, it was downright embarassing. dun ask bout it. =(

froday. which is today. daves bday. ate at cafe cartel. sat there and tok despite all efforts to make them remove their bums from the seats. GOD. aniway. last tyme im complaining bout organising. its freakin hard work. and im nt cut out for it. sad. but who cares. =(

2006-02-12T21:09:00.000+08:00

haven been updating for a while now le... lately lotsa stuff been happening and havent realli gotten used to it yet. Yet, strangely, along wif this ridiculous pace of life have come the appreciation of wad life realli is. hahaha i noe. sto toking so uncheekilish. kk i get down to business le.

well, yesterday was the CVD thingy. despite the ineviatble outcome, i did tried my luck rebelling against mum. back countered. dun ask. =(

got my butt dragged to skool. well, things certainly started off slowly. at least it took the queen a whole 5 secs to realise mi, the mighty slave had reached skool to be, once again in her mighty desposal. and it was off to work le. cut sum hole and tied up the menu.( kinda a relieve, at least it wasnt he hard labour i was expecting.)

tried to kill tyme listening to music. ended up killin mi fone battery instead. apparentl;y it kinda ticked queen off and i was once again ordered to do my stuff. and tat explains why i was tat damn eager to siam along wif kai to his Ne tingy.

met up wif sam, who unexpectantly happened to be an Ne rep as well. one thing led to another, and suddenly i was doing errands for sumthing i wasnt even supposed to be attendin. being the nice guy i was, i agreed 2 help sam... ( mi and my big fat mouth).. how hard can primary skool kids be anyway i tot.

the answer? damn hard. cos their parents were a bunch of jackarsses. sum malay women apparently had her son come attend wif a copy of sum teachers work and this led to a series of unhappy protest wif the a chinese couple. and fuk the mother who act like a BIGGGGG shot infront of mi. i was being nice when she asked mi to photocopy the piece form the malay, ( and the malay boy was realli nice to lend mi his drawin) but when i came back, she gave mi a face that read,' im a fuking old bitch' and told mi she had two children and she needed ANOTHER copy.

i was off again. and returned,to c another malay parent askin mi if i could photo copy yet another copy. luckily sam was there. she kinda crapped about how the competition emphasised on creativity, and the woman was off. phew. (after tat sam and i quckly chao to find ourselves the second shift.)

and then bio chers proposal kinda screwed up. ai.. dun wana tok bout it le. very sad. at the end, i was left alone in the canteen waiting for the storemen to arrive, t return the goods and bill. ( previously cos i offered to remain and help out becos grace was beyond nice. she was divinely nice lor. the others werent kidding when they said she was so nice she scared u. anywae, mi and my bug fat mouth again. =(

worst was the fact that the store men being the big block of wood i was, tot i was grace! he walked towards mi and asked, 'grace?' i always showed him mi middle finger. i meant how can he mistake mi for a gal!!!!! wth!!! anyway, then i was off to transport mi goods to euny, whom happned to be my 1st customer of CK PTE LTD. ( advertisment: eva thinkin of how to make ur parents paranoid??!! ck style? well wori no more! for ck is here! prices are subject to the level of block headness of parents. Gst included.)

and then reched home at round six. bathe and went out. was half dead when i reached home. sad man. luckily today was sunday. =) bu had to do a whole lot of work... dying le.... =(
summore sick..... hahaha bo bian. anyway happi V DAY in advance. esp the guys. cos im nt the sexist euny is. =p

a valentines tale.

2006-02-09T21:24:00.000+08:00

well, just wanted to write sumting since today is the oni days in weeks i actually feel the mood to come online and slack. anyway, sam told mi a story todae, well how it came about isnt all that important, but it certainly made mi learnt sumthing else.

there was a boi and a gal. ( yeah i noe the intro sux. we all do) basically, this boy was a lousy, hero wanabe who just got his butt kicked all year round 365 days a day, nt to mention a bully magnet.

the gal, quite on the contrary, had it all, brains and looks. howeva, it was quite a mismatch, bestowing these assets to a hot tempered unreasonable shrewd like her. one day boi was gettin his butt kicked when the gal showed up. basically being the shrewd she was, she kicked sum serious butt and the bully crawled away in shame.

the boi was pretty impressed and idolise her. from that day om, they became friends. and slowly, he learnt to be independent and stand up to his fears. howeva, his biggest hurdle was yet to be.

things got betta and betta between them and eventually they became a couple.( i bet u alread knew tat le) . hwoeva, the boi neva truely told the gal how he felt and stuff. As u noe. days went on. and on... and one day she couldnt take it anymore. she asked the boi. ' why do u love mi? tell mi or i will leave u.'

the boi was flabbergasted. b4 he could cook aniting up, another oi came and said,' u are beautiful, tats why i love u. u r caring , tats why i love u. and u r smart, tats why i love u.' angered over her bf lacks of brains and simply a piece of block, she left with the other guy.

eventulaly the couple broke up and the guy was damn depressed. hwoeva, one day, he got news that his old flame was in danger becos apparently, the new guy she was datin was seriously into gambling and drugs. and naturally she was the best scapegoat.

the boi and his friends went and sumhow, managed to save the gal out. howeva. the loansharks( or at leats i presumed) in their fuury, drove a car and attempted to lan ga the boi. howeva, in 1 way or another, it ended up on the gal instead.

as u can expect. gettin lan gaed on a 93 miles/ hour vehicle isnt tat nice. and well. she became a brocoli. ( vegetable) her bf (current) ran off. the boi was damn depressed over it. and h came to her and said.

(finally the oni part of the story i liked. at least it made mi wana be a scriptwriter.)

' u asked mi why i loved u rite? well, i didnt noe back that. and i dun noe now. but if u wan mi to lie, i would say. i love u becos u have pretty eyes. but can u open them now? i love u becos u have a beautiful voice. but can u open ur mouth and sing now? i love u becos u were the best athele there was in skool. But can u even stand now? if loving u needs a reason, even a single reason, then i do not love u a bit. but if loving u needs no reason, then i truly, realli love u deeply.
i Love u becos u r u. It does nt matter what u look like, or how u sing... wat matters is that u r u in my eyes. and u will always be.

the conversation left a deep impression on mi. and i hope it did 2 on u who r readin. so... aniway tata

happily drained....

2006-02-05T00:37:00.000+08:00

hahaha i dunno why.. but todae seem quite a good day.. for sum reason, i have a feeling this is wad a typical 'live to ur fullest day' would be. everything jammed packed in 1. time to relax, to study, time wif family, time to shop, and time wif friends. even despite of my god damn tired frame and skin which is seriously deprived of its rightful beauty sleep, and a couple of work waiting to be done... despite all this, im happi. at least for today i can rightfully admit i live life the way i wan.

although the quiz didnt went exactly as planned... (for most part i was scrappin through, but at least logical answers.) read up on integration and did sum area under graph. then went out and practice kof b4 meeting vin to meet euny who was unbelivably high despite all the killer stuff that been coming. chingay and camp next week? man.... seriously if im u i would have murdered 4 sleep. anyway. its been a truly fulfilling day regardless.

hunter and hunted

2006-02-03T23:57:00.000+08:00

hahaha tot bout wad euny said. i was paranoid. But still. betta to be safe than sori. rumors are rumors though. so... no pt avoiding pple for nothing if theyre nt true and stuff..... pple being friendly doesnt mean = hunting u. maybe im jus overestimating miself. im nt that smart, or gdlookin, or nice to tok 2, or even humane. so.... nt pt riteZ ? But anyway felt much betta after tellin euny. realliz man. im nt used to gettin close to pple. have to override my programmin soon. becomin obselete.

Funni or nt, im just mi bah. itl take time b4 i can write a new programme over, but at least i hope for nw, things stay just as they are. and to end things off. this year chingay was...... hahaha kinda unusual. i shouldnt emaphasise. ask the performers in person. wa lao. go wif tang watch chingay realli different man. apparently he was lookin at all the stuff that oni attracts guys.... so as u can expect, i was quite... erhh dunno how 2 say. at the end, meet up wif euny and went home>(clue to findin performer )

The ONE

2006-02-02T22:30:00.000+08:00

No. neo isnt involved. neither is jet lee. Instead in their places, we have shanana and crisp whom went upstage to kick butt. crisp was damn cool. calm. collected. Frankly, it was quite perfect. Nothing looked outta the blue. except for the fact, the singer, infact, the soloist screwed up his lines. and 'chao snia' (run voice literally in hokkien)... and it was a solo item. but nevamind, cos vin sumhow conned us into voting for him becos solely of the fact yi cheng was perfect. and he was after all, well, yi cheng partner. so... 2 votes down.

and then there was shannen. for those who noe mi, then u noe i neva lie. well, much anyway. well, for starters, she looked quite stunning today.(apart from another who wore the black dress in beauty and the beast. the 2 would looked quite a potrait together. but that fukin carrot damn bias. shoot al the gals. damn gay.)

and apart from that, the guys didnt look too shaby either, infact, they looked good. and they sounded betta. even the judges admitted. all 3 icked butt. and that fukin carrot was a wet blanket again. after crisp and now shannen.

apart from them( i shallnt be bias like tat gay) there was the '2nd wang li hong; who basically made his counterpart sound like he was having another ADU wanabe and then the 3 gals b4 shannen. they sounded kinda nice although the PA system killed them off and kinda unnerved them.and there was a fa- i mean horizontally challanged ass( no way im skippin my fave word.) who sounded good too. despite her warobe disaster. well. let mi put it this way. she could do with a fashion consultor.

after that, we went for dinna. wif adeline and shannen. dunno why the noodles dun taste as good as they used too. i ate a few mouthful and kinda decided to give up. and we let them catch up on old times( believe mi. boys are not made to sit there comfortably to listen to gals conver. although if it was sum guy who was totally sure he was goin to hell and needed to convince himself he was just not the correct person hell wanted, he cpould just jolly well sit down and listen.)

anyway they realli shoppin queens leh. even till the shop wanted to close liaoz. but unfortunately i had to go soon , if not i would have chiong all the shops below to find my bag. anyway we( the boys) left earlier, and becos of no change, i had to change my cards to money to buy another. damn sianz. anyway, met shannen on her way home. and she said i looked hagged!!!! argghhh!!! i need my beauty sleep! anyway u guys did well today!!! keep it up and next round( which im sure ure goin to make it into, call us to go support u all 2!!!! kk?=p)

new year aftermath

2006-02-01T21:55:00.000+08:00

damn it man. wads the hells wif teachers man?? how come they can just spoil ur mood lidat? and i was still feelin darn gd today..... until maths lesson. totally screw the entire day 1. drained mi like a sponge in water.

freaking got backstabbed in class; infact mi entire buddy group got backstabbed cos a freakin bitch told a fuking lie to protect her and her group of friends. realli FUK TEACHERS. wths wrong wif them? juz becos im not a promising maths student doesnt fuking mean i dun make an honest person. or kai heng. and we get scoldings just cos theyre fukin lying slackers. and i honestly didnt noe how to do. and teacher chose to believe them???!!! fuk those bias ass. im goin to prove them wrong. RITE FROM this fuking moment on.

im goin straight now. no more ponnin lectures or skippin maths hw le. man. i realli hate them. nt becos i was the sabotaged, but it kinda brought down kai hengs chances for advancement and jin hao who was freakin innocent and helpin mi, the noob adapt to class. it realli ticked mi off. plus, we had to copy the question we were 'supposed to present' 5 times over. looks like its tyme to learn up mmy stuff and put an end to all this nonsense.

Looks like its goin 2 be a long year ahead... no kiddin

REspect. and rumble

2006-01-31T22:49:00.000+08:00

reach home and dun feel like doin aniting. hahaha its been a long day, i reasoned. and mum. even b4 she reached, i could alreadi tell she was at my door.( and b4 that she had her revenge. MAn she hanghed mi!!! for the 1st tyme! at least since i started realising it.) and b4 i could put my respect-ur- mum- b4 -lending-excuses (rumble) plan into motion, she alreadi finished her naggin. as usual, dad was my hero. he saved mi butt yet again. THX Dad!!! i luv ya!

cos he wasnt helpin much by asking mi what i did outside and laughed when i told him how i got the oranges. and in the end, we ended up talkin bout mandarins and oranges instead, and i couldnt get the concept. =(

anyway, ive decided. perhaps its time i learn to make peace wif mum. mum isnt an enemy. (which enemy gives u 300 for nothing?! hahaha i certainly hope i get more when i denounce my new stand.)perhaps i realli have been too harsh on her. after all, shes... well my mum. and which mother doesnt have to mutter how bad ur jeans look on the 1st day of new year, or complain to u when she accidentally spilled water on ur assignments?

whats important, at the end of the day, shes a woman. and im ck. i neva scold a woman.* at least i dun wana admit. and she gave her career up for mi and bro. i should ahve brought tat into consideration. so..... and mi, being the magnanimous being i am, have decided to write off all unhappiness ( at least till i get my D600c) hahaha and time to put my rumble plan to execution for gd! happi new year!!!!

.......

2006-01-31T00:11:00.000+08:00

Been doin a lot of thinking this new year. cant said that i enjoyed miself truely even though i did get my share of ang pows, infact more than usual, and i did everything i would normally have done and felt good bout. weird. i feel.... burdened... sad... like im missing sumthing. and i dunno why the fish am i feelin this way.

Grannies health been on the decline that ive noe for years. even though i wasnt close to her, i couldnt stop but feel a tad of sadness when i glanced across the bedridden figure, too sick to even stand. technicaly she was oni my mums god mother, and by my principles, i shouldnt even have given a damn. but... it was still... sad to c her like this. especially in new year.

and listening to the adults toking, i felt worst. there i was chatting wif my cousin bout dota and suddenly i felt lifes a freakin drag. i didnt noe why. but suddenly it felt meaningless, everything felt meaningless. and a sudden phrase from my elder cousin kinda cut mi off. " life's lidat. sickeness and death are a part and parcel of life. u look at the pple round u die. and when all the ple round u die off, u noe its ur tyme to go.' that moment i went silent.

it struck mi hard how fragile life was. how short everything was. how fortunate i was. and unfortunate. how fortunate i was to noe pple. pple who i tryst. pple whom i can confide in without bluffing my way through. and most of al pple who made mi realise i can do stuff i neva tot my dignity allowed.

and how unfortunate i was. that at sum stages of life, we will be separated. and perhaps even forget bout each other existance..... how our lives became intertwined in fate. and yet ironically become separated by each individual.... and i tot bout how tragic it would be, to believe that at a moment u could lay ur life down for sumone, and yet in time, forget even bout his/her existance......

after the visit, went watchin geisha show which as expected was kidna dissapointing. (feedback from msn nicks) But i had te feelin that the reasons for disappointment were different are kinda diff for the gals and guys.... hahaha .. anyway, it still felt good lookin at zhang ziyi in a catfite wih gong li. and how gongli look the same for more than ten years. i meant she didnt even had a single more wrinkle. wth.....

and sumhow, despite the disappointing ending, despite how unbelievable it was, it still felt good. i still tink the movie was good, at least for mi. it kinda made mi realised that despite lal those crap we may face, there was always the element of unpredictability, that a mircale may occur, even though i neva believed in any.... that we may choose to believe that we will neva change the reason we live for and still get away with that native thought...

sumhow, this new year had been realli fruitful, even though it wasnt a particularly happi 1. it sorta gave mi more courage to face the road ahead. and yeah the money 2. and most of all, i dunno why, i even felt good losing to sweez in dota. hahaha i muz be gettin mad cos it was pure ownage. and yet i didnt mind. dun get mi wrong though, i did try my bext. its just that i didnt feel bad when i lost, anyway HAPPI NEW YEAR 2006 pple!!!!!!!!!

Happi CNY every1!

2006-01-29T03:13:00.000+08:00

ai... since no 1s online cant do my survey... but still happi new year every1. i noe its not exactly a gr8 year ahead, but trust mi, it gets worse. and if nows not the tyme to enjoy, i dun foresee u will within a decade. throw aside ur burdens for nw. and sori bout being sentimental and stuff... cos i kinda lost my head yesterday. must have been the shoppin disappointment or the show.

aniwae, what i realli wana say is simple. live life to its fullest. ull neva noe wad happens next....

HAPPI NEW YEAR!!! sori no msges these year. i cant do aniting wif my mums fone. haha too lazy to cr8.

a valuble lesson...

2006-01-27T22:05:00.000+08:00

wrote a whole lot juzt nw. but decide all were irrelevant. Wun deny that i dun feel quite rite after watchin the ai de zhang men ren finale. dun deny that for that instant, watchin the frame where ruyi and jie kuan exchangin vows, i was overcome by envy. and then when the frame switched to lance, i didnt noe why.... but that was this slight impulse for mi to tear....

Alas the show finally ended. a pity. its been a gr8 show. but all things come to an end. is it not true that all rhings that have a beginning have an end? its up 2 u. Sumtimes, happiness is in the process. for some its the end. for the unfortunate feel, its their beginning. the 2 latters are easy to comprehend, but the former u say? wTH?! who gives a shit bout process? i oni wan results.

i ask. what do u need results for? is it not inevitably boils down 2 the fact that u recognise that just like the mean which u underwent to meet ur objectives, that ur life is too similiarly, just a simple process? and that u wana ensure its smooth execution? that u wana be happi for all its worth??

similiarly. love is the same. it is the process that defines love. there is no true beginnig. oni an end. and an inevitable 1. to mi, oni love that is meant to last can and will last, yuan fen shi bu nen qiang qiu de. If u were prepared to take the risk to love, surely u would also have tot of the consequences?

U r the pilot of ur life. u decide when to land and take flights. surely u recognise the danger when u 1st flew, if u forsake such details, truly u do not deserve to fly. if u do not understand that love is more than enjoyment; that it is a privileged responsibility, u do not deserve to love.

but beyond all, to love sum1 else, u must 1st love urself. how can u claim that u treaure the life of ur partner tat much and yet not give the same to urs; the one who means the world to her? would it not selfishness? that ur selfishness would led to her sadness ultimately?

thus, wif this principle, i believe that there are no faulters in love. for if it was love. it exists if only it its meant 2. No 1 side is responsible. and its neva been easy to fall outta it, but no matter. time will hea wounds. whther u hope to admit it or nt. that from the start, even without her/him, u have been living.

that u have been independent. and u treasure urself. for if u have not, u would not have survived till then would u? the simple fact atht u r alive simply means u had the guts, the ability to live on alone even b4 u meet him/her.

that does not change. not now. not eva. u live for urself. and love is a simple process which enriches ur basic journey; ur process of life. ultimately, it is u who lives for urself. and u who makes ur own decision. to be glum and sad. blaming urself and others, or simply look up to this fact. that u lived. and u still do. theres no diff. its u who makes the diff. and personally i would choose happiness. regardless of which path i take. i choose oni cos i noe i wunn regret.( even despite grumblings and stuff)

but i accept that. and its up 2 ya. lifes too freakin short to waste revloving round sadness. make ur choice and stick to it. not choose and regret later.

relieved,

2006-01-25T22:50:00.000+08:00

Well, wif cny fasy approaching and the Block test a matter of history, it was hard not to take advantage of the festive(or rather soon to be festive occasion) and not give urself an excuse to slack. Considering he fact, i may probably fail chem and maths, i was all the more more merrier to, well, make merry. (while i had the chance)

unfortunately, a series of unforseen events led to mi sleepin on bed totally drained instead. i didnt even wake up till late 6. i had no idea how much sleep i missed out these few weeks. but it sure felt nice, to sleep wiothout having to wake up to consider the prospect of undone hw and the nagging schedule ahead.

with all this aside. new years a nice tyme. no burdens. no promises. nothing. just money and enjoyment. the way i like it. without responsiblities.... and lately, it did concerned mi that im more broke than usual. spiritually and financially. U would worry 2 if u were turning out to be another syl... its was scary. even now, when i recalled every morning conversation with sam, i realised i had quite the making of a nerd.

( taking away KOF, dota, chattin,anime,tv,gym,music,slack,and sleep.) .... 0_0 but then again. most pple are nerds without all these 2. and i kinda realised our conversatio all revolved round hw and stuff. which kinda bothered mi cos a few days ago, we were all suaning syl and how he would talk bout carbon cycle when hes with a gal. and now im doing the same. HOLY COW. i tink i betta stop chattin morning talks now. theyre startin to disturb mi.

then theres always the usual hanging out and stuff. although without a hp, it was relli darn hard to do aniting. anyway, skool aside. hey eunice, u told mi to head down to ny rite on friday rite? it would be nice if u provided info bout the time which the entire things start so i can start planning my routine and c what lessons im ponning. so... ya noe.

anyway a early happi new year. (consider this a greeting cos i have no hp now =P)

unexpected.

2006-01-23T22:13:00.000+08:00

juz yesterday i was planning what shoes to buy. and now, im thinking of how to fork out enough to buy them. everything was in order till this afternoon. my bro ran mi up and after 2 mins, i suddenly found miself in a tight, tight financial budget. i have barely a hundred now.... and i need to have 6 times what i have by the end of new year. i made a realli bad call.

shouldnt have, but i agreed to he deal. and my bro paid the deposit. anyhow. but still my hp is settled. now my shoes. man i realli need to learn how 2 prioritise. i dun suppose any1 can teach mi that now can they? ai....

regardless, im sticking to my plans aside from the shoes. the treats are still valid. dun wori. ( anyone relevant who happens to be readin this.) when the goin gets tough, the tough ask for help. ( goin away is simply too irresponsible) anyway theres always parents, the final trumph card.

hahaha and after all this, i kinda forget that i have a maths test tmr. screwed man. i neva got to noe miself very well i suppose. when had i came to the pt when failings become a part of my life? i neva asked miself that. i neva noticed it. when have i started to accept failures?

lookin at sumones nice nw, the only thing constant is change, i tink i can comprehend its purpose. not a bad thing i suppose. the old ck would demand perfection but neva work for it. well, now? i tink i leart my lessons. count my blessings and hope. to be happi. at least i try to be.

neva mind what i do, failure has etched onto mi. it is part of my life. and almost parts of everyone else's. except for the very minority. i have learnt to accept it and take things in my stride. truely, b4 the new year, or suddenly this positive thought disintegrates into thin air, i would wana thnak all of u. those who played a role in my life, as a jerk, as a friend. in the upcomin year. work hard. play harder. time is neva enough.

calculated risk.

2006-01-22T13:44:00.000+08:00

'Whats a risk?', i ask. and he said 'an opportunity'.

' then why a risk and not an opportunity?'

to that, he replied, ' i believe u knew the answer already b4 u asked.' And he was rite. i did know.
Cos u may fail. thats why. Its tat simple.

And i asked,' why take a risk?'

He looked at mi and said,' why not?'

and i instantly knew the answer again. gain. profit. benefits all struck my mind at once.

but i was puzzled. 'But why the fear then? arent u supposed to be takin a risk only when u have nothing to lose and everything to gain?'

he smiled. ' must u?'

i was at loss for words. ' then why? why risk losing when u noe u cant bloody afford to lose at all?

he said. 'becos none who take risk would want 2 lose. or believe that they may lose at all. Are u not taking a risk when u ask mi this question? R u not making the assumption that i already noe them b4 u asked?'

again, i was struck. i didnt occur to mi tat way. that i was already taking a risk; a risk of assumption when i asked him. i oni asked him when i was sure he knew....

he laughed..... and i knew i had to search for the answer miself. that the answer all along lies within mi.till then i will continue my search.....

Adaptin to de new mi.

2006-01-21T02:08:00.000+08:00

been a while since i updated. cannot say that its my fault entirely. anyway its been another week at skool and things are lookin gr8, other than de fact we all have a big load of hw (esp maths) in our bag and block test in our faces. so..... well, if u tink life was easy, guess again.

been tinking alot lately, bout stuff, in and outta skool. its like im been missin sumting eva since skool retstarted. and ive been rackin my brain over it. could have been aniting, i guess. calculator? a new bag? my hp? or even sum pple although i neva fiured out who. its like i finally realised hat lies ahead. and howeva painful its been, ive grown over it. immunity.

what do i wan in life. tats a simle quest. how do i go about achieving it? tats the real bumper. and 2 b frank,after all this time, i neva got over the 1st stage. at times answers are there, but sadly, none withstand de test of time.... and given another chance, i'm afraid to believe in chances again. im afraid that i may cause damages tat i cannot repair.....

anyway, just wana say this, mug hard every1, play harder. and eunice, i own ya a treat and please come online some time when im no away or sumthing. i wana return ur ya file. my mum been naggin bout how nice u r and how irresponsible i am. i fear that 1 more day like this i would go mad. so....ya noe.

a beauty in a cage.

2006-01-15T02:27:00.000+08:00

went shoppin at marina today. kinda a nice nite out. its been kinda long since i last went out wif bro. i guess i do need my supplement of family outing after all. anyway went suntect... GOD! G2000 and u 2 were havin 70%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i grab a blazer.... while my bro watched on. he said there werent any colour taht he wanted. and he wanted a white 1. so we head to u2. b4 we went in, we rembered the shop at marina where we last saw a white blazer.

so we headed marina instead. well he tried on a couple of pieces b4 the store keeper finally came over and suggest that he tried out the new pieces. bad choice. he picked a light brownish white 1. and it suited him well. and then a shirt. well when w headed over to the counter, his eyeball literally fell out. instead of the $109 he expected,(courtesy of the sign board outside. blazers @ $109.)

it was a whoppin $ 269. and plus the shirt, it was $329!! well it was his fault for nt askin anyway. luckily he was loaded but i tink the payin left a scratch on his bank account. anyway headed over to suntect back to grab sum cjeans from u2. saw a grey blazer which i liked.

while my bro picked a pair of matching pants. while he was tryin on, i was waitin for him outside and sum kid came over. and her sis or wadeva( an ugly at bitch) came over and scolded the kid for sumthing. and it was a straight F***. wth. it kinda shocked the pple there, (mi and 2 shop trainee.)

oh and i forgot to mention 1 was a realli pretty gal. the trainee. well. i picked my blazer and just as i was frettin over the size, she came over and helped mi out. she was reali friendly 2. didnt noe why, i was darn nervous. she started tokin and i started tokin too. and suddenly we were laughin. i meant tokin to her was just normal and stuff, the oni ting was that when she smiled, i couldnt help smiling as well. it was like seeing her smile and i kinda lost track of my own probs. wth.

Hey im not a leacher though. got my blazer and queued up. even my bro admitted the gal looked gr8. realli she could have made aniones day just by smiling. unfortunately, ot mani pple appreciate the hospitality the trainees provided. they were just lookin at teh price tags. forsakin the treasure b4 their eyes.

and b4 we left, she even waved to us and told us to come again. hahaha realli.ai. back to reality though.. just askin, hey Hcers, u all wana grab sum clothes for ny? lets go suntect or orchard! kk?

Sick.

2006-01-14T00:31:00.000+08:00

been quite a while since i last updated the blog. and heres a couple of reasons why b4 sum1 actually starts pointing fingers or screamin in fury nw that im back again.

1. stomach been hurting since tuesday. come and go case of diarrhoea. ai. weak all over.

2. bodys beeen aching all over since i decide to integrate gym into my daily skool routine.

3. heads been hurtin too. too much hw and probs to settle.

4. tryin to convince my new classmates im nt chim keng or chee liong or wateva. ai...

5. tryin to be neutural without killin miself i the process.

kk. lets start. well. skool started and i lost my hp. but on a lighter note. the thief gonna be stuck with my hp for a long long tyme. cos i reported the case. and so he basically have to stick to my fone or risk his ass when he trades it in.

been unedxpectedly pleasant experience it had been with my new classmates. even though it did seem kinda bad that they were the ones my pervious classmates were tryin to punch. kinda tired of playin middle man. but i dun tink they're as bad as my previous clas had said. they're kinda simple. and optimistic. a trait i kinda admire. and hardworkin 2. kinda jealous of dat 2. They're realli diff from my last class. upright, simple and navie. i cant say i fit in. but i have to admit my spirits are neva low with them round... but i do miss my previous class 2.

perhaps im just afraid to admit im happi wif them. But i do feel tat for the 1st tyme im nt alone. i have pple who share my weakness, understand my plight and not sought to make a joke outta everyting they deem unworthy. and perhaps i just feel good that im nt the 1 lying and makin others and miself miserable.... perhaps....

realli tired wif hw. and cant seem to concentrate for long. mind seem to wander off 2.... puzzling stuff.......reali tired and afraid......

new year, new hp

2006-01-10T01:28:00.000+08:00

BLOODY HELL I LOST MY HP!

_ _
_

Time to get a new 1 anyway. just tinking wad to buy nw. realli screw pickpockets

drugs are bad.

2006-01-08T17:15:00.000+08:00

feelin weird. kao. the feelin sux. cant seem to shake it off. its like im feelin light headed and giddy and yet i feel kinda anxious. i dunno why. like im on drugs. and i dunno why i feel kinda happi 2. tink im breakin down laioz. wth's wrong wif mi! ai. guess i betta calm miself down. i'll go read chem or sumting. no dota or chat liaoz. its enough for a day i tink. have no idea wads goin on. it sure brings a whole new defination to the term stress. could use the tyme to work out instead.

a good day.

2006-01-08T00:40:00.000+08:00

Today was mag bday. as u can expect, it turn out to be a great day. ( just in case u have noticed the BIG title above) although things didnt start out well at all. i was late as usual. well it had nothing to do wif me playin dota or watso eva. infact it was becos i ran after the bus and got my shoes soaked. the time saved was compensated in the toliet at interchange cleaning up instead. ai. the weather's screwed.

despite the damned condition my shoes was in, i made it to citihall. where i met up wif The rest who were there. we chatted quite a bit cos i havent seen them a for a while nw. it was kinda nice, just hanging round. tink i'll miss this when i head to NS. well anyway they all commented on my hair. which was kinda ridculous. since im the one wif fashion sense. (hello!-_-) but guess its time to go for a hair cut liaoz. my fringe's longer than shannen's( which looked kinda cute despite it being kinda flat, but guess iys normal for a gal, since its long)! kinda unbelievable. and dave said i looked like gay. after which was well recieved by vin, whom made it KNOWN i had to be a gay. ai.

then eunice and todd arrived. folloed by cui. and we all went shopping. kinda PS the highlight of today. we did our own shoppin. and mi, sweez and dave all bought gio clothes cos mine looked kinda ridculous. it was spellin FAKE. i picked green, and dave pink, sweez orange. honestly i tot i was the oni 1 changing. i was DEAD wrong. we all changed. i have no god damn idea why. and i noe we looked a couple o gays. ai..

we patrolled round looking gay for a while til we went to Marina. and shannen lent mi her bag. which i tot looked kinda nice. (well, on mi too) and this was immediately met wif fierce response by the others(vinny mainly) whom said i looked gayer than eva. well. i tot i looked just fine. but i do need a haircut i suppose.( well, ya noe i have nothing against any1, but damn sweez. who carried out the GAY TWINS PRoject. the results? 3 guys in same clothes and carrying same stuff. now we were truly gays.)

after that we all went eating at hans. well the cake was realli yummy. but kinda fattening. quite expectedly, i ended up quite full. all the betta i guess. i realli wana set aside time to train now. for NS and stuff. guess have to cut away my cartoon time liaoz. sad.

we ate and i left fot the arcade. haha I completed KOF!!!! 1st tyme. cos the com was retarded. and we all met up after going bowlin. and cui vanishing to dunno where. well. it was kinda fun, but i played like......-_- dunno how 2 say. damn damn lousy. no excluses though, vin won , fair and square.

we went home after that. (shannen and shuting left b4 us. cos shannen was realli shagged. u could c it on her face). well we all shopped rpund a bit although shops were closing. but i realli like the feelin of late nites shoppin. to used to that wif family liaoz. but not enough cash i suppose 2 do this all the tyme.sweez bought sum gummies. which looked reali good. gues i ow u a treat next tyme buddy. cos i neva paid.hahaha=p

after that , me, dave and sweez left together after te gummis cos todd and mag psed us. sad.=(
we took met and i decided not to take back my stuff at eunices house. cos i wasnt realli in a hurry and i was kinda tired too. guess ill tkae it next tyme when i head to ny.( rember! sweez help mi get those clthes and bag!!! i pay u! thX!!! )

well today was realli kinda fun, it was a very different experiece all together, compared to the previous bdays. no badminton and stuff. shoppin and tokin. just the way i like it. dunno its just im femine or the gals nt all lah. ya noe who im tokin bout. rite eunice?) behave like.... hahaha ya noe. but. guess it would be betta if we threw in a movie. and if shannen wasnt so tired. well. tinking back nw. i still late earlier just nw. well.. realli kinda sori. but i redempted myself liaoz. i help her carry bag. at least i tink i did. (although it was purely cos i tot her bag looks nice.BUt still it was a good deed.N im gettin one like that. except that its not roxy. cos its kinda gay for a guy wif a brand lidat.) anyway congrats to the organiser. cos i tink it was a good day. by any standards.

... i hate skool

2006-01-02T16:46:00.000+08:00

sigh......skool reopens tmr. and.....yet it feels as if i've not done lotsa stuff i wanted to do. Its gonna be a tough year ahead. taht i noe. i understand. but i neva figure it goes beyond homework and stuff. i had glady comprehended this to be a..... refresh9ing experience. and yet the feeling of dread lingers still. hahaha i'm toking like a dying man. and thats exactly what i feel like rite nw........ ai.... guess i cannot expect things to remain the way they are.it would be too easy. But i have to be lying if i didnt admit it wiuld be easier if i do not feel so crappy now. when Miss Lim left, her last msg was to b content wif wad i have, and count my blessing everyday, but i cannot say that i have accomplished any of that. Hahaha weird huh? i neva gave a 2nd tot to it. and it struck mi now. that indeed i feel crappy oni becos i always want more than wad i get. i neva feel content.

and yet when i told tang of my goal; to be independent, he said i was realli a home bred slacker. He was rite though. But i wasnt lying. guess i have to rephrase it. my oni goal in life is to be content. yet doesnt tat contradict? if i am content, i wouldnt need a goal. i would be happi wif wad i have and live it throughout just as i am.... regardless i dun intend to argue wif any1 teh diff... happi skoling every1!

a new year.

2006-01-02T02:33:00.000+08:00

As de holidays come to a close, so does the year 2005. well heres an belated entry on my last day on 2005.

teh day began at 9 actually. i used the word actually. cos i woke up at 9( courtesy of de vibrating phone beside my pillow) . and quite frankly, i didnt give a damn. and i went back to sleep despite being pissed by the call. an hour and a half passed b4 i was willingly to get my unwilling butt off my bed thanks to another call from my totful classmates. and i realised i was gonna be late. we arraned to meet at 11.. and well. u do the calculations.

another hour and a half passed b4 i was finally prepared to get my butt outta the house. and kaoz, i was tired.... slept most of the trip to jurong. to jurong? u ask. wad ya doing there? well the answer was a simple and most stupid 1. to ice skate. now. wth in the right mind would actually go and ice skate on new years eve? the answer? a whole lot of pple.

the ring was freakin crowded the moment i reached which was round 1230. nt bad i tot. quite early still. and then i was off to skate after meetin up wif classmates. i was relatively kk i guess. neva fell at all. and i have to admit it was a hell of a lot easier than roller skating. but due to the large volume of pple there, it was quite inevitable for mi to crash into some pple. and a major plus point was teh scenery, hahaha if u dun get mi. i meant at least got chio bu there mah. not so boring.

then sumone fell and got slashed in the face by blades i tink. cos the next thing i knew he was bleeding all over with a cut across his forehead, and his glasses in 2. kinda sad i guess. a scar for new year. not the kinda sovenir u might expect. anyway one part of the ring was dyed orange becos of this bloody mess. and the workers there had a hard time scraping the stain off. well i skated for a while more till 430 lidat. cos one of my friend lost her tickets and we went and search for it. luckily her ticket was picked up by the shoe-renting uncle. which was unbelievably lucky.

then i went to meet tang. and we headed for orchard. kinda messy. lotsa pple. as expected. we went cine for the weird rabbit show. even though tang was reluctant at 1st. cos it was god damn corny he said. tat i have to agree wif him. but turns out , it was god damn funni. it was reall relaxing.... and we were off.

the trip back to tp was hell. cos pple were all over and started a foam war. Unbelievably i tio twice miself. despite siaming at the slighest sound of metal. it was fun actually but kinda messy and teh road was all slimy and sticky. kinda tough to walk.

and we walked back to tp, reaching there at bout 230 lidat. we went for supper at sum noodles store. and it was kinda good i have to admit. i neva had the experience of eating at such run down stores but the food was nice. despite noeinh the hundreds of cruches i had to do for eating at this hour. and i tot it was a rather welcoming experience. perhaps i can get the hcers to try it out. its kinda fun. but nah. curfews. so....

reached home at round 3. and tok to sweez and after tat von. kinda embarassing. dun wan tok bout it liaoz. -_-

natural heritage

2006-01-01T23:35:00.000+08:00

1st day into new year. and i already tink this year gonna suck more than the last. realli. damn freakin pissed..... damn fukin sick of parents and their shit.... 'oh, so bro couldnt go again? why dun u go? u can be his scapegoat so i wun have to get suaned by our relatives." WTF man. wa lao. wat kinda arrangement's this? Oh u c, bro has his reasons for nt goin. being a devout christian as he is, he cant touch joss stick! its perfetly acceptable! and then for sum fuking reason, im the person for the dirty job again. im beginning to tin i make miself too convinient for my own good. and for theirs. freakin pathetic maggot. everytime theres a fukin prob, its down to mi again. wat bout my probs?! realli. u said i was selfish. look in the mirror mum. whos the one forcing the other just so she could be spared another round of annual gossip? huh? who's the 1 who's made to like the bad guy? I DUN CLEAN UP MESSES AND I DUN EXPECT U TO CLEAN UP MINE. get a life. realli.

regrets.

2005-12-28T23:37:00.000+08:00

As 2005 comes to an end, along wif it , memories, both resentful and memorial fades away in time.... another year ends. and another begins. strange...that the period of the year is always marked.... or rather scarred by an entire list of regrets. regrets... things i should have done. things i shouldnt.things i wanted to say.... things i wish i could have said in a diff way...... and thinking ahead... i have no new year resolution. but i hope i will stop screwin up my life. and others. i dun wana be a burden. i dun wana mess up anymore. i have oni 1 more year left to correct the mess...... so... happi new year every1

responsibility.

2005-12-26T22:20:00.000+08:00

Responsibility. A value tats been instilled in all of us since young. although some way or another, we may have neglected or even forgotten it along the way. we all have our share of responsibilities.It may be as simple as any self-satisfactory task, living up to others expectation of us, or in the unfortunate minority, having to struggle so that life can go on.

Its a big word for me. i admit. for those who know me, responsibility isnt the 1st thing that comes to ur mind when u c mi. experiences throughout my life have moulded mi into a person i cannot say im proud that i am, and bred in mi an instinct that sumhow allowed mi to live without worries, slithering my way outta any responsibilities shoved upon mi. All these, coupled with failing moral values has resulted in a abominable concortion of irresponsiblility,pride, cruelty and most of all, cowardiance- Cowardinace to face my share of responsibilities. the most absolute error of mistaking the trend of escapism to be a beneficial trait bestowed upon mi completed the process- the years that shaped mi into what i am.

and it is not till today i realise my stupidity.... my blindness. how i could have missed it i neva realised. the issue of responsibilities, mine, is not a new topic to mi and my mother. And to be frank, i hated her. i hated her because she made mi choose between what i tot was important to mi and my responsiblities. in short she was a barrier. and like a scar that always served to remind mi of these. i do not dismiss the fact that im not a filial son. but im a fair one this i insist. where others see responsibility, i see reason. i dun give a fuking damn to what others may say. and i mean it. to those who would sought to distort my reasons. and thinking bout it, i realised.... that i blamed my mother only becos she was much like mi. oni that she did face up to her respnsibility, but in place of cowardiance there laid dependence-dependence on us, her family. and i hated her. i hated her for her having to rely on us all the time. i loathed her. all becos i hated my responsibility as a son. and i hated cos her weakness was in mi. like she was dependent on us, i was dependent on others....

i'm sori to those i have been so dependent on. and i pledge that i will from today on, try not to be the hindrance that i am. at least i wil try my best. not to shove away my responsibilities, but to learn to accept them. i cannot say i will enjoy doin so. but please forgive mi for my ignorance.

ehhhh... im tagged?

2005-12-24T23:29:00.000+08:00

5 weird stuff....

1. well. for starters. the forte to always say the wrong things at the wrong tyme. As a result this trait tend to annoy more friends than the damage it does to enemies. not always the truth. but definately not honey coated. just ask eunice. ya will noe.

2.amazingly bad tempered at times.easily irriated by the simplest things. like a bug. or vin. noe tat they dun do ya no harm but i always, despite mi reminding miself in the face. i still wana squash them like the bugs they are. yet sumtimes, no matter how desperately they try, i just laugh away like i dun give a damn.

3. neva seem to live up to expectations. even when there r any. especially when in front of pple i noe. dun haf to elaborate bah

4.neva seem to get to noe basic stuff like my home ad, house no or even morals and responsibilities. quite a bit of a sadist at times. but oni if times calls for it.

5. i havent kicked vinny's ass yet.

5 pple huh?.... well
- vincent. cos he has loads to tok bout. if u wan weird. it doesnt get any betta than this.
-shannen. ( cos shes just unlucky i got her blog ad.)
-dave. cos he can get weird at times 2. tok bout BJ massage.
-sweez. break from those stress.
-the king of da world.the name says it all.

CK's guide to survivin christmas.

2005-12-24T01:49:00.000+08:00

well, well well. its thatperiod of time again. a time when we throw aside all our work and have a holly jolly good tyme. yes ure right, its christmas again. and in celebration of all the good spirits and the festive occasion, ive decided to jot down sum guide lines one may find useful to survivn this merry season of the year.

survival rule 1. Work on ur actin skills.
well for starters. theres bound to be times when u recieve presents that are, well...... ehh... quite unexpected. so. u may be needing to brush up on ur acting skills. and finally decide to vote 4 ur star idols after experiencing the hell they go through.
scene 1.
ck: hey kt. merry christmas! here. this is 4 ya.

kt: hey ck! yeah merry christmas 2 ya 2. oh! u shouldnt have(made mi wait this long)! heres ur present.

kt: wow! a seiko watch!thanks man!

ck, upon opening his present: wow! a purple, star studded stretchy..... thingy! exactly wat i wanted! ehhh... wat is this delightful gift anyway?

kt: well... of cos its a purple boxer, silly.

ck: ehhh.... wow! a boxer! man u certainly noe wad pple 1. look its so handy. u can wear it on ur head or even get wedgeed on wif these!
(for ya info, ck in this sceniro apparently died foamin at the mouth the next day. the police primary suspect was tat he suffocated under the purple boxer after being wedgeed by kt, whom described that he assualted him in an outburst for some unexplained reason.)

anyway. heres survival rule 2. workin on ur traps.
christmas. well. needless to explain. a legenday figure we have all come 2 associate wif the festival. yeah. u guess rite. santa. well. for those of ya. out there. u betta believe tat he exists. well heres an example why. ck has taken the tyme to cut out an article from our very own ck times to elaborate his stand.
____________________________________________________________________
said T.T dubai(the name of the interviewee has been altered in order to protect his vital interest. and believe mi. he will b needing it soon.): i neva believed in santa.2 this, the reporters appeared stunned and disturbed. as the wave of unrest swept, a question was raised. why? 2 this, dubai replied, santa if u r out there listenin to this interview, hear this. i hate u. u bloody f***ing Bu---------------------- the rest were censored, courtesy of ck times.

To this, mani still found themselves pondering. howeva, the mystery was revealed moments later. when dubai was broke down and cried after finding out he was sentenced 2 twenty years in a jail cell. without toilet. said dubai, i hate u santa. after al this tyme, after the countless times i wrote to ya. u neva replied! u neva once gave mi my gold tap! so i had no choice! i had to colp de money from NCF 2 buy my own! i hate u!
____________________________________________________________________
extracted from article 234, CK TIMES, 12th dec issue

well anyway, santa real. this is concrete proof. but aww... look at the time. stay tune to another edition of cks guide, comin soon!

a belated entry...

2005-12-19T22:15:00.000+08:00

this entry was supposed to have been made quite sum days back... but guess i kinda lost track of tyme.. and kinda squandered away my tyme on other stuff.. mostly thinking and studyin i guess. of the 2 ones a lie though. it wouldnt take a enius to figure which. anyway... sat was shutings bday. and we all began the da by trekkin and naviagting our way through the harsh, unforgiving concrete jungle of yck( a bit exaggerated... but under the sun i tell ya it was no diff from trekking in a desert. wif the exception we knew where we were goin of cos.) when i reached , dave,vin and von were already there. and guess wad. there were no rackets. so we all watched on while the other pple happily played on in our court and noeing tat it was our money rolling didnt help. much. then our savior arrived. wif him, sweez. cui brought along 2 rackets. and we were all getting ready to actually play( actually they were all getting ready...apparently, i wasnt in very good condition..... and the wather was a big put off) and we realised an important fact.... we had no shuttles! crap man i tell ya...

anyway we managed to get sum.. (dun wana go through wat happened.. but cui and vin asked the reception and wa la. we had shuttles) and we played (for most part it was cui, dave and sweez and josh who joined us halfway.) shuting and mag arrived late and they didnt play at all. lol. but they did brought a single racket. but apparently, no 1 else wanted to play becos of the weather. ai... wad was i expecting anyway..... a nice walk along town..... should have dressed as josh siad, 'for the proper occasion'. no tat i mind. dun get mi wrong. i dun like getting 2 domestic though. though i do have a certain fondless for shoppin. and just sight seeing wif friends. but rackets suit mi just fine. pity i was too weak to exert any strength. or even hit he shuttle properly...

anyway we played 4 a while and after which we went ps. (after a series of fone call which proved extremely interesting. and unfruitful. not to mention expensive.) but regardless no 1 minded. we decided to head to ps( after an arguement on whether ps is town... and after shannen and josh were competeing to c who would lose their temper 1st, josh who feigned shuting and shannen who obviously knew this and threatned to hang up. hahaha it was quite funni actually. anyway we went to ps and we waited for shuting and mag to come cos they went back to shuting place to change, and while we wait shannen went shoppin. i wnet wif crisp to check rund as well. anyway sweez and dave went and grab sumting to eat from breaktalk cos their stomach couldnt take it any longer.

and then we realise we should grab sumthing nice along the way for shuting. so we(dave,crisp,sweez and mi.) went to actionz city. well anyway we looked round a while b4 we settled on the gift. i was just in charge of payin. not tat i mind. i neva helped much anyway. shannen , josh and vin grab a bear instead. a bear which sweez kinda complimented look like a victim of a severe rash caused by aids. nevatheless it looked betta i must admit. we could ahve won if we bought the cloth man instead. ai... neva mind. anyway it was a relieve shannen got anything at all cos apparently... hahaha ask josh if u muzt. and we all went and eat. i left early to visit teh arcde. man. ps arcde neva fails to astound mi. ten mins there and i learn combos i neva seen in my life. but guess it wasnt my day. i lost to sum noob who knew nothing to combo! in mVc2!!!! wth... four times in a row summore! ai.. damn sad. and the svc i lost to the com! guess im outta shape. i realli should be ashamed. guess i betta use my ps2 more often now... anyway till next tyme,...

pointless.

2005-12-17T00:07:00.000+08:00

went out wif vin, eunice, evon today.. for ahem* sum very unimportant stuff. anywae... uts been a while since i wanted to come outta the house outta my own free will. ( believe mi. i was decieved into the whole thing. it was a damn sham by josh. -_- ) and then anyway went to hougang mall. found the way there miself. impressive huh?! 2 be frank... i didnt do much of aniting when i went there. cos it was more like a shoppin tri to mi. i was supposed to be helpin. anyway... i... ai.. nvm. went round lookin a books. yes. books. no idea wat came over mi. but i'm starting to scare miself. bks! wat next?! whil the rest went to do sum *stuff.... yeah. and they did their *stuff. and we went round for a bit cos evon wana eat sum taiwan snacks or sumting. and i went to get mt streps. cos my throat hurted like hell. not tat im complaining cos apparently eunice was also down wif it. (according to vinny, it was a post conditioning of BBQing ones throat. and surprisingly it was her who was getting betta and not mi. despite te fact she was literally croaking. sad. =P )well then we went to evons house cos i was waiting for vin to play lan and there was importanmt work to be done. and.....evons house couldnt help them in what they wanted to do... and they decided in the end to hand the task over to eunice instead... now i wont comment on the selection of feasible choices.... but ya noe. then we(mi and vinn ) went to lan at hougang plaza after eunice went back to skool to 'yu hui' wif sum guy and hand over sum ting. andway.i wanted to thrash vin. ended up thrashed 4 the 1st round instead. sad man. sad... realli. looks like im stil a long long long way to josh. and.i guess i shouldnt underestimate and overestimate too. wateva. tmrs a long day. so rest up i will. cyaz

vins big day.

2005-12-14T22:40:00.000+08:00

well guess wad?! todays vinny big day. now come t tink of it... hes my junior in a sense...... and wad god damn doesnt make sense's tat he's always the one giving the advice and tell mi wths wrong n stuff.... even goin as far as tellin mi how to read... man. all the evidences point to a clear fact~ im a lousy senior. =( (or maybe hes just a bloody mature for his age. i dun understand him sumtimes 2.)

well anyway we went to bishan j8 to celebrate hus bday(actually there was an earlier celebration but i couldnt attend cos i was woke up late, being ignornant of the whole damn ting. oni to found out after my daily dose of teen titans and batman tat i missed 7 calls. bad.

nvm tat. i reached at 15 to six and was busy reading harry p while waiting. i promised shannen i was goin to be late. wif tat i expected to c them arriving on tyme. but wth. they were all late. every single 1 of them. not tat i mind cos i was buzy reading away. then vinny arrived. and he was 2 reading. we looked like a couple of nerds who had nothing betta to do than read all day long. but it being his bday forgave him. and of cos miself. then shuting arrived. and shannen shortly. well after chatting for a while i realise tat mani pple couldnt make it not tat i mind. but ......

at least they made it earlier than mi anyway i tot. and they cut vins cake. sumting i didnt know they did. then shannen and shuting went for sum 'shoppin' cos they saw a 'slipper' they liked. while vin and i got seats in pasta. haha. yeah and they took an hour to buy tat 'slipper'... nevatheless.... nevatheless we(vin and mi0 waited in pasta and they came. and we waited sum more for ying hui tp arrive . tehn josh and dave. b4 then i realised after a brieft chat wif shannen tat i didnt noe wth was goin on at all. i paid too little attention to those round mi i assume. being away was a good excuse too i presume. ai.. cant blame mi now can ya?

then we ate. ( i drank actually) and after eating we wenmt arcade. but it suxed. the arcde machines stank. i couldnt do half the combos i could do. of the 3 machines i played, all suxed. the controls were as useful as a poop flavoured lolli. i was disgraced. by my crappy performance. but perhaps it had to do wif friends watching mi as well. i always screw up wehn i play infront of pple i noe.... nevatheless. i palyed till shuting realised tat she lost her bottle. and we went back. and dave got her bottle. so dave became the hero of the day. i even tot of writing the book 'dave and the zhong hua bottle' sure i could kick jk rowlings ass.

anyway went home after tat. on the way home. tot bout loads. and i decided tat i should continue wif wat im doin.... weakening my resolve would in the long run be more ctatstrophic instead...... and went home on mrt wif yh, josh, nana. i laughed at sum stuff and nana tot i was acting weird. strange. i tot i neva been more normal..... nevatheless... happi bday vinny!

aftershock.

2005-12-12T23:54:00.000+08:00

just returned from genting. and dave wanted to go out. i decided tat it was the least i could do for him. i wasnt actually a big helper.... and i can neva be in his shoes. hang on there buddy... all i can say... i noe ur probs. but u are not the oni 1 wif them. noe tat we are wif u. at the very least u wun have to face the time bomb. just bare wif it bah. i guess i just prefer the time bmb than the atomic. u got the atomic instead. but nevatheless.... we went out for lunch. 1st tyme out wif them since the malaysian trip and eunice's ocip. and it was kinda nice. i dunno why. just sitting there and toking crap. but i do admit i went overboard wif my jokes sumtimes. got eunice ticked off. i also admit that i got dave dragged along wif mi. sori there. and sori if need be. im not askin u al to share my views. and neither am i sayin that those are my views. u noe mi long enough i guess. i dun tink u would expect mi to praise them anyway. and if it affects u al. i promise to stfu. i noe my ways. im not anybody and i dun have to live up to anyones expectation. im miself. but at least it helped mi understand pple betta. u noe a person betta by the reason he gets mad. and noeing tat... and lastly i apologise. not for being the evil, inhumane, bastard i am. but for not keepin miself in check. and allowing mi speech and actions to disturb u all. im sori. but i aint a saint.

the good, the black and the ugly

2005-12-12T23:19:00.000+08:00

heres another slip short piece update on my blog. been away for four days at genting. initially i must admit the trip realli welcomed. at teh mention of goin out wif my family anyone would have chosen to scale twenty stories and then jump down. it would have meant an easier, much simpler and quicker way to die. compared to the torment i forsaw i was pretty sure tat by the end of 4 days i would be nothing more than a corpse.

kk. day 1. bad day. why? cos for sum stupid unexplainable reason i couldnt sleep last nite. i turned in at 11. and woke up at 2, tinking it was 5. cos i could hear the vehicles outside. and when i looked at the watch, wa la! 2. and i decided to turn on com. and play a quick game of dota. wrong choice. ended up sleepin at 5. ~ as u can c. the next day i was a walking corpse. ironic eh? dota killed mi b4 my family did.

Then we boarded the bus and the journey pretty much started. teh trip was unimaginably long. it took a freakin 6 hours! ( i noe its nothing compared to air plane rides. but for mi. it was sheer torment. especially noeing i was under the constant beck and call of my mom who seemed to noe less bou the bus than she did her son.) 1st it was the luggage. which i took. ALL of them. then it was the chair. then the tibits. then....... the list just went on.

after surviving the bus trip thanks to the modern technological mirale known as the i pod, and national security( a stupid comedy action flick) i reached genting. i wouldnt say in 1 piece. but at least 3/4 piece. i was ready to explore! like christopher columbus and zhen he b4 him. i went and scouted the place. look out genting! for im here to conquer u! i started on my exploration for breifly a 1/4 of a sec b4 my mum asked mi to help my relatives deposit heir luaggage in their rooms 1st. now i just love my mum. she sure noes how to brighten up ones day.

then after my back breaking chore, i went along wif my bro, my yonger cousins and my older cousin(? nt sure of relation) and explore the area. we went round snow city, the rock climbing thingy and the aracde. and we took time to window shop, but with the small amount of money at hand, i couldnt actually buy anyting. not unless i wanted to end up begging for money on the streets for the next 3. it was then i saw it. a jacket. a simple 1. and 1 which i needed. i didnt noe why. it was screamin out to be included into my warobe. then i tot bout my choices at hand. starve and beg for 3 days or no clothes? i chose the former. and wa la! there i was without ten bucks rm on mi and a jacket. no food. no drinks. no aracde. no nothing. but who cares?! i had a jacket!

kk and after that it was already dinner time. we had dinner and went abck to retire for the nite( which was playin soccer at the lobby thanks to my cousin who bought a soccer ball at the local store.) slept for round 4 hours.

day 2. wa la. today was a nice day. gr8 sunshine. no mist. i was ready to go and continue my expedition when suddenly my ommipresent mum just appeared and told mi to babysit my cousins. AGAIN. and they demanded i took them to the park. and so. it was mi, my bro, and grandpa(can u believe it?) and and cousins to the outdoor theme park.

play the cyclone 1st. which kinda boring. its was like the panasonic alpha 8 i sure hope no one fell from it though. if theyre singaporeans tat is. then we played the fun tract and the sorkscrew. which was kinda exciting, but had way way way too mani pple queuing up for. then i decided to try the space shot. we queued up for an hour( mi, my bro, m cousins and the older(dunno wad) grandpa decided to sit the corkscrew and the rest of the rides cos it was obvious wat the hell they could do.)

it was the best ride eva. though my cousins and bro chicken out at the last min, i stil found it fun. i was shot eleven stories( or higher) where i could just c everyting below mi! wow man. it was a nice sight. and then dropped to near ground level and shot up again. god i was damn freakin scared when we started to fell from the top point. i stopped miself from screamin though. but it was wonderful nevatheless. i neva been so clear minded b4. the fall seem to dissolve all my worries. i was just there. prayin it would be over soon. and wa la. it ended. ai.. so fast.

the last two days... wa lao.. i gettin kinda tired to blog bout it laioz. neva mind. we just went arcade and shoppin and snooker. and last day we went bowling and rifle shooting. kinda fun. and then were back. (sori. but i promised it would be slip short. so kk im done.)

new done up. bleach anime

2005-12-08T23:43:00.000+08:00

viewed as sum to be an excellent anime i have to agree. Bleach rox. hard. Downloading a few more episodes. hope i can catch up soon. at least tat will have to wait till i return from kl. ai.. but nevatheless managed to finish off with my blog b4 i get outta here. cyaz.

miracles.

2005-12-08T02:48:00.000+08:00

Im not a believer of miracles. Im not the type who goes to an exam hall knowin nuts and hopin to scrape a pass. No. no dat wouldnt b mi. i would be the 1 sittin in the corner and prayin. ha. u say. u pray. everyone prays for a miracle. in this case a pass. NO. tat wouldnt be it. cos if tats it then i would be god damn contradictin miself. i would pray yes.

I would pray tat i fall asleep during the paper so tat time would pass more smoothly. i would pray tat i can get my share of fun b4 my sentence after the results. then u say. i must be a freakin low life, hopeless sftg would seems a tad too pesist. ure right i would say. except for the sotg part. but tat doesnt seem the case today. today or rather tonite, my entire life revolve round miracles.... lets start...

815. CK being the extremely dumb mofo he was went ON TIME t meet vin who he arranged to meet in changi who would in turn, together go find crisp and lastly go meet the ocip pple who were back from CHINA. now i shallnt go into the UR MOTHERS SO FAT TAT WHEN SHE JUMP FOR JOY joke. u noe it. we all do.(courtesy of russel.) nevatheless bak to my adventure.

U c when i reached there. i was early. we arranged to meet at 915. and i arrived at 845. bad timing. coupled with sum plain stupidity. i waited. 15 mins pass. and then half an hour. and i started to say wth. for half an hour the bk was stack to the brim and i was left wif no choice but to sit on the bench outside and wait. then 45 mins passed and i was gettin pissed. 1st miracle of the nite. ya guess it yet? if u guess it was vincent late, then ure correct! (well at least later than mi. i ALWAYS CAME LATER. ALWWAYS. since i 1st went out wif the hc i was always one of teh latest. and today he beat mi flat.)

kk. 815 + 30mins=845. two toddlers came to me and suddenly jump and screamed and yell. i was jolted awake or rather distracted from my tots. Apparently they were running round and screamin tat there was aircon. they ran a few steps and declared tat there was aircon there 2! HOly S*** mother of jesus! they discovered tat the entire building was air coniditioned! but tat wasnt wad bothered mi. i tot it was a miracles tat they didnt jump off the sky train to heck whther the outside was airconditioned. i would have reckoned they would have sobbed and sat down and said there wasnt any air con. * if they survived the fall.

900. i was gettin pissed. cos vinny was getting a tad too late. idecided to msg vin and move to t1 1st. and he was hungry. cos i skipped dinner. no idea wth vin was doin. and reachin t1. i went straight to the bk. and found the queue quite freakin impossible(3rd miracle). screw the counter. then after tat i waited sum more, strollin round the terminal.

930. i was bored. f***ing bored infact. so bored tat i wasnt even pissed anymore. then vin reached. we then set off to find crisp. (who we met at the bk.) we then went round checking the flight no and stuff. oni to find out tat crisp screwed up the no and time. another miracle. and we went round checkin. and crisp was damn funni. man..... ask him if u wan 2.

10 sumting? we went to t2 to check and found out we were at the wrong place. nvm though. we or rather i had dinner. surprisingly the two were high.( i wouldnt outrule drug abuse as a primary possiblility or rather vin didnt have enough sleep. and he was goin nuts.) and everything just became of blur of vin svrewin up all i said and using it against mi. even eatin the choc pie(yet another miracle)

1035 after dinner went back to t1. got a drink tat. and i was rite. the counter was screwed. damn screwed. he took a minute to fill my regular coke.(another miracle) if i was the manager i would have sacked the boys sori ass. wth. he was the reason of the queue. no the business. and vin and crisp were waiting.

11 sumting the ocip reached and horray! we saw them for ten seconds ( at least i did yh and eun.)
didnt brought spects so neva saw frank. damn sad. and i kinda mistook another woman to be yh mom. my bad crisp. i wouldnt comment whether this is a miracle or not. i leave it to the readers.

so miracles do exist. at least in the from of extreme screw ups and super dopes. but yet they do..... but blah who needs them? not when ure me...... signing off

time shift

2005-12-04T23:24:00.000+08:00

after losing an entire week to maple... the nighmare didnt ended... and i foresee another 3 to dota...... and its been a long tyme since i blog. and read pples blog. everytime i come back, im amazed by how little i noe. and how much i pretend to not noe. problems i c. problems i do not c. and problems i choose not to c. wat probs u ask. well if i told u i wouldnt be avoiding them would i? and why would i aviod u ask. very well.ill just list out the reasons why.

1. being sensitive to others plight does not nesscary mean tat i can make a diff.
2. i do not noe enough for mi to be in others shoes. although i noe its tat damn difficult.
3. i had enogh tyme to clear my mind and i believe tat such matters are reserved to the owners alone. although no answers can be xpected... it does help to have a few soul to tok to. Alas. im not one of them.
4. due to sum external influences sum believed to be dota... ive grown insensitive and unable to comprehend the world beyond lothareon.
5. last and most important of all, i suk big time at comforting. wad were ya expecting?
6. not exactly a genius by nature.. so im stil comin up wif sumthing.

alas. excuses u could say. to me reasons i would reply. A person once told mi. tat wad i do is wrong. and i asked why. and the person replied. cos its u. the person may not remember but i do. and i understood why. any efforts to go beyond my role would be futile. its not tat im programmed to fail. but simply recognising the wisdom in the words. the more u do. the more the chances u have to screwed up. and screwed up u do. oni not urs. but another persons.

im do not tink im can atone for tat. i've done nasty stuff. and have been subjected to them to. i noe wads it like.the person who told mi meant it as a joke but i saw more than a joke. and what u do u do with utmost sincerity but what remains the fact is tat when u screw u amplify pples sufferin. what then? do u expect him or her to forgive u wif all his/her heart? i for one. would not appreciate tat. in the most basic principle. who would forgive another to prolong his suffering? it does not matter what motives the person had. good or bad. they mean nothing. not as long as they dun make a diff. and a positive 1 at that.

ingrate. realist. sum of the words u can use to describe what a person of my beliefs are. but can u deny that u do not feel the same tinge of anger at the same person for making ur life miserable if not more miserable than it had been? if u do not. congrats. u are a saint. but as i have said. im not. seem ti have side track.... but regardless i wish luk to all who may need it. suddenly i do feel like writing an aentire essay on good intentions.... crap.. guess i betta stop miself from mutating into vincent. signing off.....

stone-agified

2005-11-28T23:18:00.000+08:00

Man. the power stoppage couldnt have chosen a worst timing. from 1 to 4 no power tmr. when i heard this i alomst fainted.... god. NO ps. no com. no fan. no air con. no nothing. no fridge even. i mean wtf.... ai... guess its only a few hours though... its not as if i have to start a fire by rubbing stones or havin to go hunt for my food with a spear. no physical hurt from any savage battles with wild beast ahead. but an injured wallet. ai.. sad... but not for miself. y sad when u have an atm called ur MOM at home? ill just reclaim my losses or even perhaps get a long overdue pay check for promotion... juz have to figure how much to ask for nw.. gonna work on tat. so signing off...=p

holidays.

2005-11-27T23:19:00.000+08:00

geez... 1 weeks gone. just lidat. yet each days just there. each tormenting day so long and yet... so short.... been feelin down and out for some time now. perhaps its time to stop this crap..... stop feeling sori for miself and decide wad to do for the rest of the holidays. study has become the primary concern at home. since chatting and maple are kinda losing their appeal. no idea when days started beginning to 'elongate' ..... but regardless taking a week to sulk has been more than enough i assume. no more. being lidat doesnt change anyting. i knew. and i know it betta than anyting else. but studity has always been a trait i been 'blessed; wif.. whether it is intectually or emotionally. i seem to do as i please. regardless of all the advices and warnings tat any remants of sainity would throw at mi. must well make the best of it i guess. since i cant change the cause. but cant say the same for the consequence. hahaha if my eq was low. i guess now they were at a NEW LOW now. i cant even understand some of te stuff im doing. no sense and no impulse. wth. screweds the word. still pondering over stuff... and takin time to figure out seemed to be effective. and i hope they remain tat way....

besides shutting miself off doesnt help... i oni realise it when i was writing this piece of junk. but ya. my probs are not half as bad as peoples'. and i dun intend to sulk for it anymore. i've always chosen to be a soloist. and tat doesnt change. not now. not ever. and a soloists always does things by himself. ive always admired that from mani pple i come across in life. now its time to put it into action. words are tat meaninless. i dun confine my probs i pour them out and i evaluate them. neither do i go bout tellin someone. cos its juz not mi. a soloist need not be the strong slient type who appears cool and does everything with straight Aces and stuff. i suppose a soloist can be a typical guy who screws up his stuff and fels down once in a while. but a soloist doesnt remain tat way for long. cos he knows its pointless. bu above all he knows this and does not allow his impulse to overrule his sense of judgement. and tats what ive been. or rather been tryin to be. regardless im a soloist. or just a wana be. i neva realise tat this quality will be an asset. now tat i realise. i noe betta. are u the type who believes tat at the end of the day sum1 will b there waiting to save u from all ur troubles? im dun. i believe in DIY or DIE. Y or R its ur choice. and i tink i wan it to remain this way. so tata.. signing off.

...............

2005-11-22T22:52:00.000+08:00

feeling spiritually and physically bankrupt. sick of dealing wif pple. their probs. my life is mine to screw not theirs to stuff personal problems into. cant tink of anymore excuse. i wana be selfish and heck it all. and i will be. dont have idea wtf is wrong wif mi. or rather wtf was wrong wif mi to actually put miself in pples shoes. to hell wif tat. tired....tired......

time out.

2005-11-16T21:50:00.000+08:00

hahaha didnt feel like goin skool today. not feeling particularlly miself. and didnt wana c sum faces in skool.....dun realli noe how to react to them anymore. As a classmate? as a friend? or as a presumed pretend-to-be-empathtic mocker? i noe how freakin annoying they are cos i've seen and heard my share of their thrash in skool. hong meng is my friend. and i tink that the decision is his. Its not sumthing we can decide for him. and besides i realli detest sum pple who served as onlookers and pretend to be tat damn sad for him and then laughing and toking bout their future plans in front of him. BELIEVE mi. ITS FREAKIN DISGUSTING. i wana puke just tinking bout it. as hard as i tried changing the subject around him...... my efforts went futile becos of.... forget it. and i noe im a person whose mouth quicker than the mind. and i wouldnt wana sprout sumthing out and let hm to believe im like the others.... anyway tats the reason why i didnt wana go skool today. cos im sick of class politics.... and secondl i needed sum time off to relax and perhaps run a lap or two. found out tat im in worse shape than i tot. six laps were nothing back than. today i had to force miself to finish the last three laps. man. need to train up again.... but nevatheless it was a good decision to run today. it kinda cleared mi mind. i could tink through all the boogling matters taht been plauging mi.... and i kinda decided tat i should just stick to my decision.... then again i noe its difficulties. i wouldnt dare to imagine tat sum day would be able to smile thinking bout it. but i do hope tat i do not feel a sense of regret thinking bout it.... kk cyaz. get to working on my script then

promotion

2005-11-16T00:10:00.000+08:00

today was crap. the recent promotion frenzy ahd left all but the most heck care or the most confident scarred mentally and physically. this toil had manifest itself in its prime today. and personally..... i dunno wad to say bout it. except tat im sori for those who neva promote. done too much encouraging miself. and feeling realli drained..... hours b4...

today was crap. skipped skool to have breakfast at cafe cartel. last supper they said. and i reached j8 at 10. us being us... the jackass bunch, none realise tat it was oni opened earliest by 1130. major screw up. anyway ordered the crisp chicken delight i tink... 209 i remember the order no. man.. the srving was HUGE. i dun tink i need to eat for the next 2 days or so after tat. and then we decided to end things off by goign to swensen for a quick dessert. bad choice. F***ing bad choice. tell ya why. we reached tat. ordered our stuff. and ate them. wheres the bad in tat u ask. heres what. we alked out without paying. i had no idea WTF they were doing. and i had no idea they were doing such a ting till we reached the mrt station. wa lao eh. fuk up. andrew and i still handed edwin ten bucks. and andrew even asked if it was enough. i told we only ordered $9 worth. and then we all started strollin out and edwin went to the counter. then as we were walkin less than ten seconds later, edwin was back. we were all suprised the counter was this efficent. and we asked. edwin smiled. and we all ran for our arrsess. screwed man. screwed.

dolphin vs frog part 3

2005-11-15T22:50:00.001+08:00

DOLPHIN VS FROG PART 3

As we last seen, the mentally unsound shrewd was gawin at her husband for keepin a mistress, which infact was his dog. how will he get outta this s***?!

zi jian: nan dao ni dui wo men de ai jiu je me mei you xin xing?

yun xi: wo bu zhi dao.... wo zhen de bu zhi dao...

zi jian: jun hao chen jin shang hai guo ni, fan qi guo. wo men jin guo zhe me duo cai hao bu rong yi zai yi qi, wo dui ni de ai shi bu hui bian de. wo hui yi zi shou zai ni shen bian, jiu xian ni shou shang de zhen ai yi yang.

yun xi: zi jian...... wo... xiang xin ni. dan....

zi jian: dan shen meng?

yun xi: ni yao bang wo fu zhe ci wo gen tian yu de shopping zan dan orh.

zi jian, hearing tat: hey yun xi dui bu qi. wo de dian chi hao xiang mei dian le. ni bu zai shen wo qi le rite? jiu zhe me shuo bah. wo ting bu dao ni shou de... bye, wo ai ni.

and he quickly hang her up. phew. zi jian tot. for a second he tot he was going to kana again. man. at this rate, yun xi would pose a grater threat to his 60% than queen marie hotel would eva. But for now he needed to get to other pressing matters- his dog.

back at senwell. tian bian was staying in senwell to prepare for her latest concert i taiwan. of cos she brought along the gift that ze ya had given her. the globe. her hai tun wan. her everything. and she was walking down the corridor and walking glazing at it when tian yu came anxiously to look for jun hao regarding the latest shoppin trip bills. and they collided headon. the globe fell to the ground and shattered. tian yu was quick to apologise. surprisingly the gal who looked quite familiar took the entire situation quite hard. she was sobbing. apologising, tian yu immediately bend down picked up her ring had slipped off during the collision.

tian yu: dui bu qi! dou shi wo bu hao. zou lu shi yin gai dou xiao xin diao de. na dong xi dui ni hen zhong yao shi bah? wo zhi dao zhe bu shi shen men... dan..
she reached into her wallet and took out a ten thousand note.

tian bian: ..........
then taking her two dolphins and the ring on the floor, she ran off, not turning back.....

tian yu: wo shi bu shi yu zuo cuo le shen meng? hey ni de...( seeing her run off) qian.....
what a weird gal she tot. anyway doubt tat i will be able to do anything bout it now. geez... i betta be careful when i walk round next tyme.....

meanwhile, at the general office of senwell, jun hao was anxiously awaiting the arrival of the guest. he had neva seen her in person b4, but from his data, he knew tat his guest was an up and coming star in the taiwan artise circle and look forward to heir meeting. he had heard from critics tat she was a pleasant individual and her voice was unparallelly light. like tat of cloud. fluffy cushions leviating in the air they said. he waited. ten mins passed. then twenty. then an hour and fifteen minutes. wth was she doing. he tot. he knew tat his guest was not a person who trifled with such important meeting and tat this meeting concerned the cooperation of the two companies the media giant SET and leading hotel SENWELL. she had previously agreed to be the new spokesperson for their hotel. But where in the blue hell was she????

just then, tian yu banged into the office.

tian yu: jun hao jin tian wo he yun xi~ ni ze me le?her noticing jun hao perplexed expression.

jun hao: mei shen me. ze me le?

tian yu: qi shi ye mei shen men. gang cai wo bu xiao xin chuang dao le ren.

jun hao suddenly felt a mysterious chill. curious he asked. who? tian yu replied. just a gal holding a globe. she looked like sumone from the media i noe.... just cant recall her name... suddenly jun hao felt he was standing in a fridge.

jun hao: na niu hai shi bu shi yi tian bian?

tian yu: oh yeah! i just recalled! yi tian bian! i went round lookin for her for the past hour but she wasnt here.

suddenly, jun hao found himself in the middle of a tundra snow storm. he had the sudden urge to eat his brickgame. and was caught between deciding whether tian yu or yun xi was the greater moron. one who bang into a superstar and not realise it. or one who let a walking time bomb walk round on such an important occasion. not surprisingly, yun xi was still foning zi jian at the lobby. holp crap jun hao tot. we're in deep shit. and he was rite.

sentenced without sentence

2005-11-12T23:13:00.000+08:00

... initially i wanted to continue wif wad i stopped at the last tyme. ( of cos i realise its a damn stupid.. im not immune to logic. and its just plain hard to continue)... but cant think of anything lucarative to write on... the entire atmospheres nt there... since jus hours ago i was watching a show on jesus and gal tio gangbang possession by 6 demons. so as u can expect... im not in much of a mood for romantics of any sort now. just wana finish reading my angels and demons and bringing my character to level 30. all tat b4 promos release. im well aware tat of all the pple round mi tellin mi tat im safe and all that. but to be frank. i wish i can believe u all. it is i who noe miself betta. i cannot deny tat im afraid. and although its true tat as friends we should all encourahe one another in these times, its is also our duty not to lie to those whom place such beliefs in us. tats why. please, i would rather hear the obvious consequences of failing. at least i would noe im not dreamin. stop and face facts. for who knows one betta than oneself? i dun wana believe. nor can i ignore the hopes u all have placed on mi. tats why all the more im afraid. these hopes have allowed mi to soar .... and im afraid tat when i fall i will not have enough courage to stand up on my own again. why soar above the horizon? so tat u can fall again badly? why decieve urself and believe in wad hopes others place on u? so tat u can blame them for their worng predictaments when the time comes? so that u can shift responsibilities onto others? yeah rite. Its everyones else fault except for ur own. if its lidat, i would rather not have soared at all. at least i dun haf to endure such a fall. pple always wana hear de good stuff. and im no different. but a friend is one who tells u straight in the face the bad stuff. at least from time to time. for he knows tat trading ur dignity and trust all so for a moment of folly-to save both his face and urs would only destroy u worse. anyway cant continue writing laioz... cannot tink for a period without chain of tots being broken. ai.. cyaz

dolphin vs frog part 2...

2005-11-09T21:17:00.000+08:00

this is a second installment to the dolphon VS frog.... As we last seem, our hero(or rather heroes cos i cant decide whose the real 1), the two chaffuers of our GMs were arguing over parking space.

yun xi: im calling zi jian now. this has gone on far enough.

tian yu: ni hen qi guai leh! wo men ming ming jiu ke yi~

yun xi, ignoring her, took out her fone, and called zi jian.

meanwhile the two chaffuers were still fightning their butts off and they decided to settle the whole issue through a game of cards, to which Da wei more than enthusiastically agreed to.

On the other hand, zi jian was taking his dog for a walk( remember the dunno wad breed which mysteriously disappeared?) in the park. when suddenly his dog ran off chasing cleopatra.A realli pissed off xiao gang approaches zi jian. unknowingly the whole thing was witnessed by ADA who was happening to be fantasing bout zi jian in the park.

zi jian: dui bu qi. wo de gou si hu gei ni tian le yi tian ma fan.(suddenly his fone rang.)

xiao gang: ni zui hao gei wo kan hao ni de gou. yao bu ran ke nen hui fei chang bu yu kuai. bi qing wo men SET he ni men Senwell ye ji jiang he zou.

zi jian excused himself and answered his fone. while his dog continued chasing xiao gang's cat. which was bout to become roadkill.

xiao gang: wei, ni de 'mei ren' yi zhi jiu chan bu qing.( recall back in dunno which episode how zi jian addressed his dog.)

yun xi, on the other side of the fone: shen me? shen me mei ren? zi jian! ni dao di zai na li?

zi jian: its damn hard for mi to explain. im at the park~

ADA seeing xiao gangs si bei buay song wif zi jian. pops out to save her prince.

ADA: ni ze men ke yi ze yang wu li?

yun xi: zi jian! ni dao di zai na li? ni gei wo jie shi qing chu!

zi jian: ADA.quiten down! im toking to my wife here!

yun xi: so ure with ADA?! how can u do this to mi?! after i recalled only u when i lost my memory !

zi jian: im not~ HEY! if u forget bout the entire inncident how do u even recalled that?

yun xi: erhhhhh.... tian yu told mi. so how long have u been screwing round behind my back!

zi jian: i told u. i ~

yun xi: i bet u asked mi to eat all those xiang fei tang cos u wanted to get diabietes rite?! so u can be together wif ADA!

zi jian: god damn it! im nt the one wearing shades. and i dun need glasses! ( i'll get back to u later zhong zong jian he says to his dog, leaving xiao gng and ADA bewildered.)

xiao gang: i tink i betta take mi leave for now. And stop using the bu gong yong gang song. everytime u kana dumped also have this music 1. how bout using my man bu yun gang instead?!

yun xi: and theres another guy?! my god! r u gay?! no wonder u kept goin back to guan mei de last tyme. u must have hooked up wif da shi bo and ah sheng rite!! didnt u!!

to be continued... man this is tough..seriously dialogue so much write till vomit blood. next tyme bah

dolphins n frogs.

2005-11-06T23:10:00.000+08:00

been chionging dolphin bay for a few days now... and surprisingly despite the series being relatively shorter than its amphibian counter part, i found it more difficult to stomach the show then culp bo. unlike culp bo, it lacked the usual comical all happi fairy type setting, but wat it lacked it made up wif its characters, which were more than beautifully penned and acted out. at times i must admit that i didnt dare to take up another disc ... sumhow the feeling of no wanting 2 know was overwhelming. especialy when the plot uncovered that shan ning was dying. i didnt wana watch on. but still.... i did. Muz admit that she made mi feel.... i wouldnt noe how to put it in words.... anyway after watching the show i kept thinking of how the characters would react when they met in real life( tats assuming tat theyre even real at all.)

Round 1 Senwell VS SET( basically the two GMs jun hao and ze ya)

Jun hao: ni you shi me hua jiu shou bah. wo mei you yi shi ji de shi jian~
was rudely interupted by ze ya
ze yan: dui bu qi, dan bu yao mei jian shi du yong ni de xiang fa lai pan duan.
jun hao: senwell is an international company, this time the project is underway.

ze ya: we the set are~
the 2 were interupted by two characters entering the scene.

zi jian: hey! this guy keeps bugging mi. i have enough trouble now tat my 56es been backstabbing my butt since i pon the concert for sum *ahem stuff.

xiao gang: i want absolute best for the music used in teh hotel. oni man bu yun gang and no less!

ze ya and jun hao: wads the meaning of this! u two betta have a explaination for this!

suddenly ze ya fone rings.
shan nin:ze ya, da ma and lao ye demand tat u retire early today and join us in our discussion for our marriage.

ze ya: i cannot lie to u further. i love oni tian bian.

jun hao upon mistaking wad ze ya said
jun hao: how dare u take fancy to my tian yu! Na bei! punches ze ya.

ze ya: i neva had a choice! i was a puppet of my grandpa!i had no freedom in choosing my feelings!

jun hao: ni zui hao gei wo hao zhi wei zhi！senwell wun let u off 1

ze ya: na wo jiu fan xing le.

..... meanwhile

tian yu was shoppin wif yun xi and lookin round the shoppin mall when they saw these beautiful dress. yun xi was reaching out for it when sumone laid her hands on it 1st.

man qing: look tian bian, this dress looks fantasic!

yun xi: ni you shi shui?！ ze me mei jiao yang!

man qing: im the ONE singer. queen of asia pop. r u blind?!

tian yu: so wat! my husbands the owner of senwell!

yun xi: WAS is the word. now MY husband owns 60 percent of senwell shares cos ur father in law blew mine up.

tian bian: im sori. lets go man qing jie. i dun wan trouble. ( besides if senwell vs set, we lose money-later have to resort to tat tyme sing on streets to promote new album lidat.)

tian yu: glad u noe who u are dealing wif~DA WEI!

da wei was fightning with shao dong outside... apparently over parking space...

(2 be continued...)
tmr op.. so bo bian.. =p cya next tyme

An apology to miself. and every1 else.

2005-11-06T01:28:00.001+08:00

for the last two weeks. lotsa crap has happen. as any human, and being an especially dimwitted one i had a tough task adjusting... i needed time to sort out my tots. i needed to make a choice. and i needed to get a grip, to betray miself. indeed. the immediate reaction of betrayal would in any case be met with guilt. agony. and hatred. i hated. and i sulked. but after all these. i do indeed feel better. for i noe or assume tat i love miself too much. and betrayal was the only way out for mi. why would one harm oneself? its would be the most utterly foolish thing 2 do.... hahaha must be scaring the crap outta the pple who know mi. those who dunno mi tink that im a cold unfeeling person. pple who noe mi noe tat im worst. and a person of such caliber is not qualified to harm himself. he will not. regardless the consequences.

after unloading all the nonsense. now i arrive at the important part. im sori. if i did make any1 feel uncomfortable during my period of abnormality. and im sori if i had not be there. or in any case to be there. and im sori. tat im wasnt 'ck' for two weeks. i was a miserable...... the list can go on. but regardless i apologise. to any one who needs it. even for u not waking up early to walk ur dog. im sori.

break from crap entry

2005-10-22T00:22:00.000+08:00

its been a whil since i last written a decent entry. at least a decent one by my standards. i had originally intented to write on 1 on surviving post promos, but there was a tiny winy problem. ya c i had no idea how to go about survivin it as well. well... gues its lidat. when jc tyme crashes and all pple are suddenly unavaliable. take for example even tang... whom i presumed would be damn free was working 7 days a week!!!! holy shit! wat kinda of lifes tat? then again... mi-stay home and slack 7 days a week. not exactly the ideal kinda life too. and guess wat they aint going to announce the results til the end of the school term after all the lessons and stuff.... wth... im stuck doin nothing. truth is im afraid.... afraid that things might go wrong even when i hope they dun. been through this countless times... but wat the hell.. i dun expect things to take a turn for the worst. at least i pray they dun. and worst part is~ knowing i neva put an effort down and could risk destroying the foundations ive laid down for the rest of the year.... and that my efforts would be nothing more than a futile, pathetic attempt.... i wana play my share b4 the end i suppose... but wth... cant do that too... pple buzy and stuff... ai.... besides i had no right to drag pple round wif when they were certain that they have a future, which still remains a mystery for mi...... and things oni gets worse from here... we have pw and chinese a levels.

guess its tyme to get on wif life..... but b4 have to find a proper guitar and stuff 1st... and =p cya

post promos.

2005-10-20T21:53:00.000+08:00

FINALLY THE EXAMS ARE OVER!! CAN U SMELL WAD THE HELL CKs COOKING!!!??? WELL. actually nothing. While just merely days ago, we were all thinking of the promised paradise which awaited us. now i noe how the pple who got conned by osama into hijacking te planes felt. For starters, i just discovered the truth tat survivin promos does NOT in anyway make u a GOD. ya c. let mi tell u y.....

sum guy u dunno and probably neva will: wa lan eh. damn na bei leh. the freaking paper reali KNN~

ck: wa biang dun tok tok bout it liao lah.

same guy: hey look! its our resident condor hero.

YAng guo: hey u quick pack up and leave the exam venue. wana tok can tok outside.

ck: lets go lah.

de guy u neva knew: ya lah. dun make him angry liao.

ck: Y? cos he know the palm of gloom?

de guy u neva knew( apparently not in the right state of mind) : he so tu lan laio. yesterday try to J*** off THEN cant. today com skool sia lan wif us.

yang guo: Boi. come here!

de guy: ya wad?

yang guo: wad did u say juz now?! give mi ur ezi link!

de guy: wad! i neva say anything lor! u lidat take my card how to go home? na bei lah

yang guo: WHAT DID U SAY?

de guy: nothing.

yang guo: give mi ur ezi link now! all of u!

( i swore at tat moment the teach was going to rise both his hand to show us a _l_ _l_ but apparently for sum reason he didnt. didnt figure out whther it was becos he couldnt or he wouldnt.)

KK. aside from being sibeh buay song wif yang guo. post exams sux. and ill tell u why.
Post exams are the slient killers. yeah yeah they tell u that exams kill brain cells. tats true. but they tell u that post exams period is a time to rest ur mind and recuperate. tats a FUKING pack of lies. u c. u have so much tyme and u have to decide wat to do.heres a list.

1. watch tv.
2. play ur ps.
3. sleep.
4. slack.
5.go find ur beloved DM and give him a kiss on his turban.
6.declare war on the disabled
7.go punch the particular guy uve been wanting to treat a knucke sandwich to and wishing him a very belated or early happi new year.
and so on and on...
......
......
4213415313751361376. blog

as u can c..tinking bout wat the hell to do already kill off more brain cells than ur average brain tumor. or even ur bio textbk.

PW. PW sux. well for mi it does anyway. as usual heres reason why. when u have members celebrating deepavali and not turning up u noe ur grp sux.

take 1( and the oni). Ck: tmr meet for pw can?
wj: sure. wad tyme and place?
xl: yeah kk.
ck: how bout amk library? 12?
xl and wj: sure
bz: sori i cant. i need to celebrate devapali.
ck: HEy URE HERE? how come i didnt c u?
bz: na bei lah. u disciminate my skin colour isit?
ck: hahaha muz be my eyes or just the lights.
bz: i cannot come tmr. cos celebrating devapali.
ck: wth has deepavali gonna do wif pw?
bz: its the festival of lights.
ck: huh?
bz: we must respect lord krishna cos he kicked butt and saved our arsses
ck: kk ure right.

ya c wad i mean?
and lastly. no $$$$$. dunned to explain.. well till next tyme take care.

My exam life.

2005-10-14T22:29:00.000+08:00

basically its durin this time that lots of things happen. and yet its the period when no one has the god damn time to write any stuff down. and i havent been. period. exams sux. heres a series of reasons why.
1.exams brings out the ugly side in u. ( no. not that reflection in the mirror.) imagine this....
ck:hey paul u remember the notes i lent u ya?
paul: yeah why?
ck: ehmm.. i was tinking.... can i have the~
paul: kk i noe. ill bring them tmr.
and following that paul was absent for a week til the day for exams.

take 2.
ck:hey paul u remember the notes i lent u ya?
paul: yeah why?
ck: ehmm.. i was tinking .... can i have the~
paul: im hungry. lets tok bout this after lunch.
lunch took a week.

take 3.
ck: hey paul..
paul: i noe la na bei. u tell mi so ani times laioz.
ck: where got?
paul: look at the 2 conversation above.
ck: opps. who cares? i wan my notes back!
paul: wa u wan a piece of mi?
following that both landed in hopsital. no promos.

take 4.
ck: paul.
paul: wha~
following that paul was assaulted and had his head stuffed into the toliet bowl. and ck expelled

take 5.
ck: i wan my notes back nowz!
paul: kk.
then the next day pple in class were discussing bout sumthing.
ck: hey wth u pple gossiping bout?
god-knows-who: nothing
sum bastard: wa u na bei cb kia %@!$%~^$ ? force pple to hand u notes 1!
following that refer to take 3 for conclusion. same conclusion.

reason 2. exams are an obstacle to fun.
dunned to explain. living example here blogging.

reason 3. need to have 'proper attire'
my hair. big issue. especially for taht damn cb vp. keep catching mi. guess my fringe realli a bit overboard. over the eyes but an inch liaoz. but who cares? ill fite to the end! cos apparently that fringe is a cheating instrument . can write formula on it or sumthing.

objectives of this blog. readers should
1. agree uniformly that exams sux
2. agree that skools sux cos they make exams sux
3. agree that parents sux cos they sent their innocent children to concentration camps under the pledge of 'quality education.'
4. study the statistic of school and engage in a chi square test.
formula here
x2=sum of ( O-E)2/E calcualte degree of freedom: no of types ( oni two types pass and fail oni mah) -1
then take 95%confidence level. so value is 3.81.
comapare x2 with 3.81 if difference is less than 1, take no hypothesis to be true. and thus in conclusion prove that skool sux.

another day towards a certain predestined doom.

2005-10-07T22:42:00.000+08:00

Hahaha suppose i shouldnt be doing this now..... but its more appropriate i suppose... i dun feel TAT guilty sitting here and blogging. at least i dun haf to disturb pple from their studies or wad so eva. and itll be a long time b4 i can actuallt tok like i used to.. without having to bother with that freakin promos lurking. believe late exams are more of a pain in the ass. when pple are celebrating their post-promos ure celebrating ur pre-promos. however. even during this dark times, the tiny things that everyone does does make these unbearble moments that more bearable. i personally felt that.

Had a heart to heart tok with darius oh today together with hui qing. dunno if im a particularly sensitive. i was kinda touched by what he done for us. i mean there we were suaning him for absolutely nothing.. and he was pushing our grades up. when we absolutely deserved nothing of the sort. and all that... just days barely after his father passed away. what he said truly at that moment forced any remaining hostilities outta mi. seriously i felt like a bastard. realli a god damned idiot. i mean when one actually needs encouragement and support at these times, its hard for particular one to be there for u. u study and sleep. and study. and sleep again. basically all outside lifes shut off. and here we have an individual who not oni does not take all the things we did to heart, and encourages us when we are low spirited. and goes through the efforts of making extra tutorials so we can understand better. all that when he himself needs the most encouragement himself. after this, i kinda felt the need to score for chem. besides bio is quite secure i feel. i need to score a 40 to pass. that can be done easily. maths would have to depend on luck and more luck. and physics? CRAP.

anyway still a long tyme b4 the promos end. ai.. reali miss u all. cya soon!

Anger........... and thx.

2005-10-01T19:12:00.000+08:00

havent been updating my blog for nearly a decade now. Been kinda buzy i guess. and depressed. and angry too. juzt in time to welcome the on coming exams i guess. no one goes to the examinations with a grin on their faces, at least for mi. too much was assumped to be done and left undone. all under the same stupid presumption tat i had all the tyme in the world. true. i had the tyme. but definitely i didnt forsee my mood had a part to play with it. now.. forcing urself to study isnt exactly the kinda thing i would wana do. but what choice do i have, other than the obvious( army, and then mac as my liveihood. or betta still quit now and go poly.all these 1 year for wad then?). anyway just wanted to say sori. truly. even to vincent. i mean i should have been immune to his crap. but comin outta nowhere and scolding a fuk in my face isnt what i would call normal exactly either. but i suppose it was too much to ask u to lay low or go die. cos ure vinny. i should have known beta. i could have well gone ask my mother for a new hp and have betta luck.

and muz admit this week hasnt been all that well either. 1st of all every1 said the promos was a killer. except for sum minorities. cant say that things turned out as i expected. true the exam is over, but i feel that this is what the exams are areas where even a blockhead like mi can learn. exams are about more than academics. its bout the developement of individuals. true for most part, skools bout grades, but through exams we see the ugly side and the definations of the making of a respectable person. It is those who are able to get over the setbacks and conquer the odds who make the best studnets i feel... true grades are well, grades, but what realli separates a persons caliber is his ability to stomach the setback and within that span of time tink of the next step instead of dwellin over the last. and having courage to acknowledge even the worst of fate.

Its pple like that who make the top few. regardless of odds. to work against and accept things as the way they are. and it is these pple whom i admire and wish to learn from. hahahaha u may tink im bullshittin over here. but heres sum facts for u too. i just got my dw and ca marks for maths. ( and i need to pass maths to promote), and not surprisingly i flopped. result?:a 43 for an Ao pass and a whopping 63 for a A pass. to be frank, i neva scred beyond fourty. and to be even more truthful, when i saw the scores. my heart reali sank. i was in daze for the rest of the day.. which was yesterday by the way. so i was quite volatile i must admit. i kinda snapped.

yet thinking back, how the hell can i dwell on such matters? when i have pple who working hard against adversities.. and a living breathing example at that. i would have been less than a man i suppose. but i admit that for an hour or so, i was at loss of what to do. my mind was totally blank. so blank that my brain couldnt even regrister the fact that im sad.if a gal could all of this and stil stand up to it, then i realli wasnt fit to be a man if i remained lidat.....for that i tink she deserves my respect. As a role model. as a friend. and as a great person that we all can learn from. but for now. realli thx......

Another stupid entry.

2005-09-23T23:30:00.000+08:00

hey guys.. heres another stupid entry. warning, a waord of caution. DO NOT READ IF U ARE FEELIN ANY OF DE FOLLWING SYNDROMES; PISSED OFF, DEPRESSED, BORED, OR ANY OTHER EMOTIONS WHICH MAY INCUR THE NEED TO ATTEMPT SUICIDE. IM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY OF UR ACTIONS.

man. eva felt tat vinny is right? and the TV is junk. well i did today. infact just an hour or two ago cos i was buzy toking to euni. Anyway i was just watching ' shi wan ton qing yuna' man.. god i was pissed. the swindler( liu hua) was literally cheating the hell outta the female lead and the female lead was still beating round the bushes when she obviously noes who she likes just so becos she couldnt bear to 'judge' pple even when they had concrete proof against the lying bastard. WTH! realli damn pissed. everytime he gets caught he will ahve sumthing else to save his ass.... argh!and the female lead was like, i believe hes a good man. its al miunderstanding. wth!

ANyway it just dawn on mi a fact tat i always known but neva acknowledged. why isit that we despite all the strong feeling and trust we have for our closest kins, friends, lovers, perfer to doubt them even at the slighest hinge of doubt seeded by a person who has completely no sentimentals attachements to u wat so eva? just cos u feel tats its justified to give he person a benefit of a doubt? so tat u can feel at peace with urself and feel gr8 that ure fair and precise in ur judgement? OR its just cos ure stupid? or afraid? afraid that ur relationsip isnt as perfect or flawless as u tink it to b?tat ur most trusted may b plotting against u and his true intentions behind a mask..... and if it is... then is it wise or foolish?

IS it stupid to suspect those whom u hold closest to ur heart? are u afriad to let any1 get too close to u? that u can neva let loose urself to another totally? cos ure afraid to take risk? that ull get hurt?tat u be a loner ur whole life cos u neva learnt truely 2 live with another. to accept another? or isit smart? to always have a trumph card upon which u can implict the worst possible pain on those coest to u? oni by possesin it? to show ur distrust of them?

And another thing tat pissed mi off was her wishywashy-ness.... man.. it just reminded mi of........... shouldnt say anything. anyway just do ur stuff bah. if u noe wat im tking bout. i went through this countless times. i dun hope to do it yet again. u noe wads the best for urself. the impt part is implementing it. so i guess its still up to u.

Tramatised.

2005-09-18T18:10:00.000+08:00

im a person who tinks a lot. tat i noe. but usually what i tink is confined to only how to make the life of pple round mi a living hell and how to make a fair jackass outta miself. i neva got to serious issue. i neva gave it a second tot why. ME... serious? u serious? Ure serious tat im serious? ( c.. i should just drop the crap lah) anyway.. i've been thinking these few days... and especially when euni started going serious on mi. i realised why. i was afraid. always had been. and always stubborn enough to decieve miself tat im not. tat no good will come outta of it. and toking to tang. tang gave him his wise advice. can u be a man for once?.... this struck target. hard.

i couldnt sleep the entire nite. perhaps i shouldnt whine bout it and make it seem like such a big deal. but it is. at least to mi. i mean its fine that pple avoid being serious cos they dun wana be too much of a big f( u noe wat) but.... what if i could neva be? all becos i was too cowardly and stupid.... even euni said my thinking was too passive. is it just me? am i right? or am i decieving miself that im not oward, that what i do is for the good of everyone? am i a person who can only hold secrets and neva let them out? am i a person who will neva face up to adversity? and am i a person who can neva be true to his heart? am i?

even after al the ot i've given... i must admit. al of it had been fruitles thinking. i am just as i am. i cannot be true to miself just so i can decieve others and miself again. but remaining decieved and neva waking up may be the best thing to do. and also de most stupid. things neva change when they remain stagnant. but how do u noe that remaining stagnant is a greater wrong than changing? how? perhaps even the 1st line was a line. i dun tink a lot. i tink a lot about stuff i confine miself to; and let miself get influenced by others way of thinking. cos i was too coward to accept my own.

indecisive is a problem. but cowardiance is smthing i cannot accept. im been too much of a coward without even realising so. being nice had alays been a excuse and wil remain so. being nice is no reason to decieve urself. and go alone as fate dictates. being nice is but nice. decieving urself and being nice is another whole new matter. even as i hate to admit it. what von and euni said was true. i have changed the moment i met u all.

there have been countles occasion when i argue over this. whtehr this change was for the betta or de worst. i neva got to a conclusion. and i believe that it will remain so. have i traded my decisiveness away? am i no longer able to tink freely becos i'm bounded by fear? fear that anything i do will cost me sumthing? perhaps it had always been betta to remain with nothing to begin with. but thats it rite? when u have nothing u dream of getting sumthing and when u do get sumthing, u will not wana jeopardize it. pple can choose to move on, but others may remain stagnant......

......................... dun be like mi............................. tats all i can say. ck signing off..................

lamified Bday.

2005-09-10T22:47:00.000+08:00

lately, lots of bdays seem to be comin our way. 1st we had teds. and today was an exceptionally important day. todays the bday of a very special person. a person we all hold close to our hearts. the gorgeous, total knock out- Jolin. HAha who were u expecting... but of cos... it was also the bday of another very special person. the no so gracious, lame( ai.. u get the idea... cos the list just goes on and in..hahaha just kidding.. in case anyone gets offended...)euny a.k.a lamer, satan... and a whole lot of other names... aniway, it started off like all special occasions wif the hardcores. badminton as usual. And as usual all came prepared except mi who again after the countless no of times predicted that i, being the determined, iron willed individual that i am wouldnt touch the racket.. and as usual, im wrong. it started fine till vinny tempted mi. now i knew vfor sure vinny was the reason why lucifer fell. man. it was realli realli hard to ignore his comments. and i found miself playing and perspiring like a wei siong* noun. u wun know what that is anyway. to be more specific chiong wei siong. just ask dave if u have any queries. and sweez wham euni with the ball. and i wham sweez. and crisp wham mi. its a vicious cycle. i got a feelin though euni ribcage was broken. and sweez one too. and perhaps mine.... who am i kdding?! mi ribacage broken? hahahaha thats ridiculous! i oni hads my lungs punctured.

and as usual we bathe in deodourant. and then we headed over to yh house. but not b4 we watched a trailer, infact two. 1s was the rise of the new birds. starring dave, crisp, the niggar and sum old geezer. it was a damn funni commedy seeing how the old geezer flew after the ball. but kinda exciting as well cos ull neva expect where the black comes pokin outta nowhere. then part two was the evil part. the old geezers strike back. as its title suggest the old geezers made dave and crisp eat dust. BUt it was not a fair match as one could c cos there were too many distractions. 1st there was a man in his sixteens opps sixties jumping round was a damn commical sight. the fact that crisp and dave were able to stand their fround without rolling over and laugh was a mighty feat indeed. and the indian was much of a help either. cos u could c. (hint. the answer lies in his race.)

then we went to yh house. and we watched the twins effects. and then a moment to remember. anyway feelin kinda sori for shannen though. cos she neva got to finish the flim she wanted to watch.and then we had pizza for dinner. didnt eat nothing much. two slices. cos there wanst enough to go round. and we had sweez and crisp who was more engross in easting their chess pieces. and i had to keep a few pieces intact for sweez and him. but kinda sori yinghui didnt get to eat to her fill too. cos had to do wads rite. ( be a man. do the right thing!.)

then we went pooling. didnt do much except got thrashed. 1st by crisp and dave. cos they had perfect score. dave was pretty cool and not bad. crisp was a killer. and we were pathetic. then i and dave played aginst euni and toddler. we won. as expected. but i had to say toddler amaze mi wif her neva ending array of arranging the balls cheat and euny was gd as a whole. she could get all teh straight balls. but the curve one she needs time to train. and we won cos we had luck i suppose. and then i played against dave. i won... narrowly. dave was gd. but he screwed the last ball up. so... and he just played 5 to 6 time. so hes pretty gd. and i suck plainly. then we had bday gal vs todler. as usual it was.. hey wait a minute.. it was a black horse match. wth. toddler thrashed euni. wif herlp from her ball arranging tricks and of cos crisp as usual.... but... the final black ball went in with the white... so.. ahahahha i guess bday gal prevails... and then we all went home... lazy to write some more liaoz.. ahahha just ask bah. cyaz.

sore.

2005-09-08T22:45:00.000+08:00

Sianz. one word describes it all. perhaps a string of realli realli realli realli b4 that wouldnt hurt either. cant say much either... but after the chat with tang on wed... his words kinda stayed wif mi.. expecially after yesterday... well not exactly his words but mine as well. hahaha i cant believe i said those words. 'doing nothing at all at times is the best thing to do.' cant visualise why the hel i said tat. cos im totally against that now. fuk tat man. im telin u all.

Day of de bear.

2005-09-05T23:09:00.000+08:00

Today was a gr8 day. and still is bah. since its still today. it was the bday of bear/daddy/sweez oni sum of de mani nicks given to the other bearly wise fatherly, figure that we have al go to i wu say love cos its kinda strong come to intergrate into our lives. Anyway lets get down to the real stuff.... cos im grossing miswlf out by saying all this mushy stuff..... and i dun wana c miself reproduce the icecream we had at the basin.

Eh so... today started when the gang HCers met at summerset mrt. as usual i was late.( u could tell since i recieved a 'go die lah. we here already' by sumone i being the nice guy im wun expose.) howeva... tat was uncalled for, considering the fact that Ying hui was in the same train snoozing away under the pretence of readin. Actualli i noticed her. but i didnt want to wake her up. and of cos i wanted to act daoz and c how the person would answer when i asked her ( opps) if im the oni 1 late. howvea.. she muz have known since she didnt replied. didnt amtter though. so we met up. and dave was later... so i had all de reason to justify my lateness... haha take that. and sweez they all just enlighten mi. i shld buy all my figures during christmas. for now... i have more urgent needs; a pair of shoes.

Den its was pooling... man... got thrashed badly. sweez improved quite a lot. vinni i neva c him played. dave too. and of cos crisp was whoopin our asses straight kill. and the gals hahahahahha.. u get the pic. and its was more funni cos toddler brought along her friend who wore a damn.... unique skirt..hahaha. it wasnt that it looked ugly or wat.. it just.. hahaha betta nt say. and shannen wouldnt play cos her mum said it was indecent. hahahaha it was the funniest remark i eva heard. no offense. and im nt teasin her either. she muz have gt the impression cos i gt quite a earful. for being 'overly concern.' yoz relaxz.

Den we headed to ps on foot. went cafe cartel. the food there looked nice. i neva eaten there b4. and the price were quite reasonable i would say. anyway the four guys, excluding vinny decided to order a pizza and a viking dunno-wat the pizza idnt taste too bad except that the toppin toppled, at least for dave and mi. cath high pple seem to have a way with the italian delicacy. but unfortunately the beatty pple were.... kinda hopeless. then we had our dessert. it rocked. sweez and i were eatin our hearts out when we realised we were eatin sweez bday cake. holy shit. i totally forgot bout it. hahahaha. neva.. joshua was the main culprit. cant blame him cos he chiong to join us after his trip. hahaha but he missed mi and mag durin prize giving ceremony. nt that i mind. realli. the presents.... were kinda TOO nice. hahaha. but his yam fruits were kinda nice.
then we went for neo print. man. its was a tramautisin session. i felt like suffocating in the thing. and the fotos were... nice. except taht i didnt know where the camera was. accordin to the gals who had the end prodcut. and crisp face was full of hair and all black. didnt get to buy anything. ai... next week sure chiong destiny liaoz.and happi BDAY sweez!

Yup this is it. ck.. signing off.

Mixed.

2005-08-31T22:45:00.000+08:00

feelin kinda light headed and giddy and weird. basically all rojak. dunno why. i mean it was gr8 gettin to c pple like chee and ed again. and not to mention makin a fool outta singh who couldnt do anything to us. it was damn fun. but theres still this feelin of distant. i neva had this trouble b4 i guess. i mean its probably wiser to keep to oneself but it certainly felt a whole lot more difficult to face another friend whom u have not have contact wif for a year or so. Anyway this is a complilation of three days entries.

The day b4 yesterday
had a chem test. and basically aced it.( sort of since i neva got to noe my results) and OHH went beserk cos sum pple wrote sum answers tat lets put it in a way, not to his liking. and he went callin them to stay back and screwed them. felt kinda sori for them. especially for andrew and sam. i mean i noe both of them work their butts off for this. and i believe they arent stupid either. its just becos they study for the sake of studyin i presume. and they c a sub for wat it is. a sub. and more of grades. tat i can understand. and sam broke into tears. tat kinda got mi mad cos i hated 2 see gals cry. its 1 of my principles not to scold or hit any gal. and try my best to not make them cry. OHH was sayin how they werent performin and stuff. and i countered..' u must give us time to show improvements.. at least a few weeks rite? and he got angry and barked. u dun have a few weeks!WTH. i mean if we didnt then why scold them in the 1st place. u must have tot they could d betta to scold them and u could ahve done so in a nicer way u faggot. anyway i love to get even wif him if i do haf teh chance. he always scrrew mi 4 my hair and collar pin anyway. and it kinda suprised mi that sam cried. since she always potray this 'hot headed dynamite, touch mi and ill blow kinda image. and haha i felt kinda sori that ive said some not very nice things cos i didnt noe she was this sensitive. and the other gals as well. i tink i should be nicer bah. cos i guess theyre all basicalli the same.

yesterday.

WTh. we had to stay back cos sum jackass commit suicide fanatic was late. i felt as if i ate dynamite. i just went and scolded her in a LT of pple. and she cried. my heart kinda fluttered. i oni realise that i broke my principles when i finished my speech. but not entirely i must say. since i didnt scold her directly. i merely told her a story. not a very pleasnt 1 though. and the guys in the lt were laughing then the bunch of tamil gals scolded them for being boys. and that she may commit suicide. ( like tats sumthing new) i mean who cares? i dun. shes a selfish bitch and tats that. i dun feel good lettin her have her way just cos shes mental. and besides she didnt look a human anyway much less a gal. so i presume the entire thing was bull. who would go round publicisin that they wana go suicide? i noe i wouldnt. n i noe shes stupid and mental but Nt that level of stupidness. and not to mention full of sh**. damn attention seeker.

today.
went to celebrate. and guess wat? as expected ct came and find mi. asked mi if i scolded tat fuker. and i said yes. and she asked mi why i scolded her. i told her in teh face ' why cant i? she made our entire class ahve to stay back.' and my ct was at loss for words. spare the rod and spoil the child or in this case the beast. i rather slay it 1st. felt kinda gr8 except taht they announced that after reviewing through case by case basis, our class need not stay back. cos tat beast went and explain her reason for being late to the DM after i scolded her. i mean she was pretty lucky she did. if nt i would have treated her to a knucke sandwich. U dun screew round wif mi man. im sick of all these laioz. especially those who wana tok cock in the face but dun ahve any strength to do so 1. then betta shut ur trap. im nt taht gr8 but please make sure ure betta b4 u tok. anyway went back to beatty. didnt get to c any teachers cos singh was guarding them like a dog. damn fuk. basiclaly saw all the pple except for tai and alf. and of cos Big wei. wasnt a wasted trip though. got to tok to chee and the others. but still dunno where is daryl. and i realli hope that we can go out 1 of these days, as a class. despite all the tiff in the past bah. guess ure still the best memories of secondary i have bah. and then went hoem to do my stuff... and fell asleep. woke up at 6 to c that i PS joshua they all liaoz. ai. neva mind la. i told him this morning anyway. so i guess. haha. and jia you for ur red cross thingy this sat!

troubled.

2005-08-28T02:37:00.000+08:00

Troubled. as usual. but more i would say. i mean sure. tats the usual worries bout hw, test results and all tat( hey im a student so wat can u expect) and private stuff( not to mention a person and a particulary unnice 1 or so sum may say)... but this is sumthing more i guess. feelin guilty isnt sumthing new 4 mi( as i confessed, im not a vweri nice guy and but i havent done loads of nasty stuff either other than being the usual racist, sexist,nationlist and all the -ist u can tink of. ) but coincidentally, the entire stream of incidents happen at teh same time. sumhow they more or less had a impact on mi. guess ill just start.. a week ago, euny, crisp, and the rest of the RC HC went to visit the home for the disabled.( forgot whether it was the mental or physically handicapped. doesnt matter anyway.)pretend not to see this if u are already offended. and stop readin if u r pissed.cos u have a lot more comin. and tokin wif sumone who had handson experience wif the 'special beings' i would say( no offense again) all agreed upon a single point. they were all innocent, simple and nice folks. Yes defected. but nevatheless nice. at the same time in skool, we were taught the concept of genetics. about the 5 nitrogenous bases. Adenine, guanine,cytosine,thymine and uracil. namely bases found in the DNA structure. basically in simple terms their sequence in the codon determine very aspect of an organism. U, mi and every1. and then theres base mutation. a single point of alteration on a point in the codon. as i predicted would result in imperfect being formed. a organism which is genetically different by a single point.( maybe superior or inferior. but as u can c its more commonly inferior) K and now u ask why the sudden feein guilty? this isnt sumthing i wouldnt feel normally. but then stupidly and most ridiculously, there was an episode of GSD. and the plot kinda got mi worked up and stuff. it was implementation of my ideas. U world where by pple are ruled by their faith. and their faith by their genes. imperfect beings such as our friends are executed becos they show no values. leaving them alive oni reduces resources and weaken the species even if they are to reproduce and ensure sum pockets carry on the survival of mankind. But it is apparent that we do not need inferior beings to take our places. our goal has always been the same for centuries, to excel and be above others and achieve wats been branded impossibel by others. An such a world whereby inmperfect beings are put to death and the rest governed by a faith taht does not change. genes are all. they dictate ur ablilities. ur character . everything. and in such a world there is not need to defy aginist fate. u r born to fulfill the task assigened upon u cos u have the genes to do it. and no need to stuggle. cos its been dictated that u can do it. all by simple sequencing of ur genes. and wats more disturbing is that REAL pple in life have been implmenting this idea. as early as ww2. adolf hilter has done so. and almost succeeded. though far from the father of genetics, he yielded results. he knew the need for creatin a superior race. a race to dicate. a new generation to rule. and eradicate those who are deem unfit to survive. and even the Righteous allies, the british general ) i have no idea his anme cos im not a historian.) shared the same idea. and i have to say i kinda agree with them. and tats why im guilty. my views may be unacceptable, but i tink being humane is goign to help solve anything. it just makes matters more complicated as they already are. feelin sori isnt wat goin to make a damn difference to them. they are like us. and unlike as well. they feel as we do. they feel the need to be above others. but they can neva. they do not need pity. jus look at ur blind idol kelvin. he doesnt need pity! wats he need is confidence. BUt it canot be granted as and to defects. becos they would adopt the stand that they are infact normal when they are most obviously not. that they are even in the slighest like us. and tat is unacceptable. But i do no c the need to eradicate them as did the previous two. after all wouldnt it be beta to study them and ensure that such mishaps do not happen to the generations eons to come? but overall. i still stand by my views and i hope i do not shake urs. or disturb u. ps. dun get nagry. i told those were disturbed to leave. so.... not my fault i guess... and till next tyme bah

a damn belated entry...

2005-08-23T22:17:00.000+08:00

shld have updated several days ago.. if nt for the damn packed schedules almost everyday. well... this was definitely not needed. not after my SAt outing which left mi for the dead after the almost ten hours of biking. Its kinda retarded tinking back. wth? why did i even go along? flopped both test so tat i can walk barefooted across the park to find shoes? to waste ten bucks on sumthing i shouldnt even be at? or trying to spot a ghost at changi hospital or the beach? wth man. all i got was a aching body and ots of stuff to study. IN A DAMN SHORT time. considering i slept throughout the day thanks to my damn reliable alarm clock. my mum. she colled mi up at 8... pm. and i knew i was done for. true enough. i was. the physics paper was like a tamil paper to mi. i was struggling so hard tat it was hard to believe that i was even a physics studnet at all.. holy. wth. i tot i could at least bag sum sections. and i was dead wrong. so went on to the next test. chem. and nothing much to say. i blanked out after the physics. and so.... u noe the rest. and then PE. ran and ran till i kinda flew off the running mill. wth. aching body and injures= nt good. damn tired. lots of stuff to do... and considering to drop physics. i tink its realli pathetic when i can at least understand chem and maths. and do them. and of cos bios chicken. wth i couldnt d physics for the love of god. tuesday then. pic taking session. the damn suicide gal went nuts saying she got classes. man. im sick of her drama. its betta without her anyway. she made the value of our photos rise but i figured we would rather have pic wif a dead dog rolled over by a car twenty times over than with her. u get the pic. it was disgusting that our classmates had to beg her to destroy our photo. it was sick. then there was PCCT. crap. dun tink i wana tok about it much. and the karaoke contest. man. it was tramatising for most parts. sum guy sang xing qin and we al went deaf. his voice was a killer weapon. man if voice could kill his would be a nuke. the gals went hysterical at the deframin of their beloved jay. and then tong hua guy came . and it became a laughing session. i laughed till i cried. theres a gal though. she sang the twins mexicos tears in cantonese. it was excellent. i have no doubt she wil win. especilaly when she sang after the xin qin. wa biang. heaven and hell apart. ai... so much to tok bout. so little time. cya bah. tok tmr.

indifferent.

2005-08-19T23:30:00.000+08:00

Sori for being a jerk. for those who dunno what im toking bout. then remain ignorant as it is bah. no point knowing anyway. its just.... i dunno. Guess u tend to look at the bigger picture after u go through stuff. and then u hear sumone tok like u did in the past. and frankly, i was quite agitated. i didnt know why. i kept restraining miself. it was kinda ugly. haha guess it was al becos i was jealous bah. jealous of the wonderful life others were leading whereby even the most tiny flaw can be magnified into the biggest mistake seen by 1. jealous of how the others seem to be able to just go on without getting worn out at the least. or rather not showing to be so. jealous becos.... i've felt i lost sumthing. jealous cos i knew i was inferior and have always pretended not to be so.... and jealous that i lack the arrogance demeanor that i was blessed/cursed wif. ONce. jealous that the others did not feel afraid as i did, afraid that the worst may come true even though u tried ur best. i noe this kind stink.N i noe tat whinning bout it isn gonna help. and it isnt my right to go whinning and losing my temper. tat it was a selfish and unjustifiable act to blame the others for my plight. Lookin back now. i c how stupid, naive, and ( bastardly as described by vinny.) ive been. i noe sensitivity is not bad. but to mi. it represent weakness. and pretendance. and overall sumthing i could do well without. i realise now that this is not so. tat i have a choice and responsibility. dumping my problems onto the burden of others does not solve it. it merely returns with interest. it manifest itself in anotehr form. R u not responsible for making those round u happi? No matter the costs? no matter the pain u endure? i believe i neva knew this answer. now i do....perhaps it acts in a cycle. mi, an individual does not exist. as according to vinnys entry. but in reality it does. what if its the individual purpose to help his fellowbeings find their purpose so that they may well help him find his? who can say that we all have a single purpose? then doesnt it go round and round? Neither has it been my forte to tink as well. to oppose the absolute. all im sayin is.... that sori for being the jerk tat i was. im sori. and tats that. i shouldnt have blew my head off just cos i was feelin down.

BUsy sat.

2005-08-14T01:31:00.000+08:00

did quite a lot of stuff today. included practicing maths, toking wif pple online, watching gundam,and learning how to change my damn blogskin. euny send mi this and i tot it looked quite funny. i dun haf 2 show it bah. she already show it over her blog. and its in ur face rite nw. i know its quite jiao. but its chickens... so wad u expect. chickens are birds wat. tink itll be a while b4 i do it up again.. cyaz... and thx for the guidance euny. BUT... a teacher is oni as good as her student. and im damn good.

inversed.

2005-08-12T22:42:00.000+08:00

hahaha my happy streak continued today though im nt sure exactly why the hell im feeling this way. i mean this did go my way... but it isnt everyday that i feel this happi. damn. i starting to wonder if this has anything to do wif the 7th month. i mean yeah happi. sure. but i was literally so happi i was kinda suffering from giddy spells. god. this is deep. and cant say things went my way today. got caught by chem teacher for going late to chem after PE. it was kinda memorable since it was my 1st time and unfortunately my oni since he made it a rule that all students should be punctual and failing to comply will result in the addition of a not so gr8 mark on ur conduct card. which practially destroys ur testimonial. and he even made us write our reflections. mine went like this. ' dear mr ho( his name was kinda weird since his full name was oH Haik Heck. which result in his short form being OHH. but to the bois in y class he was more normally known as HAIk or faggot.) Im sori for being late. i was thirsty and had to grab a drink. im sori that i had to drink b4 chem lessons and irresponsibility as a chem student. i should have waited till my break which was 2 hours away. i hope u forgive mi and god bless u.signed tan. kinda surprising it went through. i doubt he could have picked up my writings. i was basically just writing crap. but i had to say though i wasnt late without a valid reason. it was PE b4 this and we had to do our 2.4. damn. i didnt know it was today. nevatheless it wasnt all tat hard. though i didnt run cos i had stomach ache. i basiclaly jogged my way through. 1105 timing. i was quite ok wif it though even though i jolly well could have gottne a 1050 or 40 if i ran at the last minute. haha guess i just dun care. since my pull ups..... ai.. damn sad. and then we just slacked there through out. and we kinda waited for samantha cos she was lame. i mean literally since she fell down de stairs like 2 days ago. and we were balmed when her friend hui qing wasnt touched. OHH IS a sexist. not tat i care. but hes a realli good teacher that i admit. he pumbs us with papers from aj and hw this type of skool cos he hopes tat we do well. i hope that i wun be the 1 to disappoint him even if he is to be disappointed. and i tink im starting to appreciate his efforts. the other tutors too.
on the other hand, it seems that the case is well..... inverse. looking at eunys blog.... the 1st thing that came to my mind. shit. the oni time ive seen her this mad was during the innocent-stupid victim student pass incident. either shes been corrupted to the core by vinny and has lost her humanity completely or the teacher is just simply purely fuked up. she even left us a blank to fil in! it was kinda interesting though. i had to guess words to fill in other than the obvious. i even tried ka zua. serious. but i gave up halfway. it wasnt gentlemanly to dwell on anothers misery after all.serious..... NAH. of cos i was joking. how can it not be fun?! but still i prefer to leave it to the imagination bah. so fill in the blank is best. and just cheer up bah lamer... PW is oni PW. teacher fuk up then fuk up lah. heck her lah. scold then scold. PW dun need much of teachers help anyway u just need her to review ur work and edit urself. tats it. believe mi. my skool pple all slacky stupid assoles and 85 percent got distinction this year for PW. so how hard can it get? besides ur in NY> good hands. so... u should know it betta than any1 else. teacher bull is her business. being assole also hers. since she wana make her life miserable, y not? she like to make enemies of the whole bunch of u all wad. she damn brave lor. i dun c how she going to survive for the next few months. she tink she Neo against agent smith mah. can one chiong all.
as for sweez update ur blog leh. and von tell mi how to c ur entries. and dave. cant visit dunno why the url nt avaliable. strange. and as expected since were nt meeting on sat( u have ur maths and i have mine.and bio too) i pass u the gundam and book when i c u next time k? and speaking of which, is kakashi alright? i neva got to ask ying hui. i was in a rush. sori. i wasnt all non chalent and stuff i was just plain tired and busy. u all could have visited on sat mah. which is tmr. then i can go along mah. hahhaa kinda ironic bah i guess he was all so high during the bbq. and now... so low. hahaha guess wad goes up does come down. But hope hes alrite still. jia you bah for yr tests all of u! and then joshua. dun be in a hrry to get ur butt up from bed. just rest. and the rest( the other 'rest') can wait. kk cyaz!